043 | The Necessity of Procrastination

I think apart from the cold, the "procrastination" may be that 99% of the earth's people have suffered from an acute or chronic disease (laughs). The so-called "procrastination" refers to a state of "doing things that should be done but not starting". In fact, it has absolutely nothing to do with your ability, that is to say, it's not that you can't actually do it, so you don't do it all the time. Procrastination is, you really don't want to do it! ! !

The things that can make you "procrastinate" are most likely to be those things, "I felt that it was painful to do before, and now I am not very sure that I will not know if it will be fun after finishing it ." I don't think the payoff for this is that much, so I decided to send you a delay signal." A small number of "procrastination" incidents occur in those situations that "don't make you feel good whether you're done, before you, or while you're doing it" , such as goalless reading plans, weight loss plans. In response to these two types of "procrastination", I summarize the following thoughts.

1. All "procrastination" is because "you can't match the anchor with your values".

Taking my own example, I have also experienced a period of "reading a book a week" in the flag. However, I, who boasted that my self-control was already on the table, was unable to achieve this goal for several years in a row. This makes me think, very interesting 🤔

At this time, people often fall into the emotion of "self-criticism" . Then keep pushing yourself to reach this "number" , but in fact, this is a lazy way of thinking. The failure of a goal may be due to "self-control", but if a goal cannot be achieved for a long time, there must be a disconnection in a more core place. That is: there is a gap between this goal and the goal you really want to achieve in your heart, and the ideal self you really want to be. And this is often reflected in the result that the goal is just a "number".

No matter what the field is, weight loss, reading, learning, our childhood education is based on the quantitative value system based on indicators, and we have become accustomed to the thinking mode of numbers for the sake of numbers. To break free, the most important thing is to keep asking yourself "why" and maintain self-acceptance and frankness in the process.

For weight loss, why do you have to reach this weight? Is it for health or for everyone's eyes? If it's for health, are there other ways to help you achieve this goal? For example to improve the diet? If it is to have a better body shape and make yourself more confident? So why do you feel inferior because of your current body shape? Are there other places where you feel inferior? How is your self-identity value established? Etc., etc……

When you clearly sort out the relationship or error between your "target" and "value", you will naturally find a "more correct target" or "find that this target is a false target at all" . Only when there is a fit between "goals" and "values" can you arouse your "inner drive" , which is the inner energy to solve "procrastination".

2. How to deal with "transactional goals" that cannot be met?

After you have completed the above-mentioned "self-worth" exploration, you will indeed find that there are certain things in life that you can neither change nor refuse, and that you must implement. For example: some unpleasant work tasks, a phone call that you have to make, a business exam that you have to prepare for...

In fact, behind these seemingly "have to" , there are things that are very meaningful to you. They may be your too idealized treatment of reality, or you have been unable to accept a certain part of yourself, or you have been ignoring inner needs...

Everything you do is what you want to do, regardless of the signals your brain sends.

Work tasks that you have to deal with, you will still do in the end, because "want to keep the job, want to get the other things that this job brings to you"; dinner that you have to attend, you will still go in the end Participate because "I want to maintain this kind of social relationship, but I'm afraid of losing the link"; everything you have to do will bring you what you "want", and it may also be something you "fear of losing" ".

Interestingly, most people tend to pay too much attention to "have to" (amplify this sense of resistance) and ignore "want" , thus labeling themselves "procrastination". This is actually a kind of "escape from facing the self" attitude.

All "have to" are two sides of the coin, there are things that make you uncomfortable and violate your values, and there are things that make you satisfied. So the question I want to ask is: isn't there a better, more comfortable way to satisfy yourself?

The answer is yes, but rather than dealing with the challenge of "uncertainty", the brain prefers to take the path of "least resistance", even if the path seems fraught with resistance and procrastination.

Going back to my own example, when I went through the stage of "unstable income" that brought me "extreme insecurity" during the unemployment stage, I had a more comprehensive, objective, and rational view of my job expectations. : That is, a stable income gives me a "sense of security", and it only satisfies my bottom-level needs. It is very important and very necessary. On this basis, my expectations for my current work will be more rational and clearer. I can understand that 99% of what happens at work doesn't meet my ideal lifestyle, but it provides a foundation.

Therefore, I do not procrastinate on all the tasks I encounter at work. Because I know that I can get off work on time if I handle my work in time, and I have enough events and energy to find and pursue my ideal life after get off work. While I haven't found a clear direction in life, I won't let work take up what I consider "unnecessary" time and energy.

Because when I know exactly what the cost of "procrastination" is, I avoid it more carefully. Reverse from the results, so there is no need to "procrastinate".

When the next time "procrastination" strikes, you might as well turn "self-denial" into a kind of "curiosity", and explore the deep reasons why you "procrastinate", so as to better understand yourself and establish a relationship with yourself. deeper connection .

In this sense, "procrastination" is a very valuable behavioral inertia.

May everyone become a better version of themselves and gain peace and love.

 About Korgi Chu (Grilled Chicken)
International Coach Federation ICF Certified Life Coach / Rainbow Coach 🌈
(Member number 009600446I) 👉🏻 The personal website is committed to promoting the "output" thinking system, and using "output" to promote the growth of more people.
Issues I care about are: gay issues, LGBT issues, personal growth, self-care,
Self-worth exploration, establishment of personal brand, career transition, efficient learning methods, financial freedom.
And everything that can make you a better version of yourself.
May everyone become a better version of themselves and gain peace and love.
Contact me: korgicoaching@gmail.com

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