"Tie."

Date: 2022.04.05

Location: Kaohsiung City

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"I always feel that all the loves I have talked about before this are all to meet you at this moment.".

I forgot when I said this to K, but looking at the photos after we were together in front of the computer still felt incredible.

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Although it is said to be inconceivable, what will happen at this moment? In a state where life is originally a state where countless choices are linked together, those so-called incredible occurrences seem to be destined to some extent. When I thought about it like this, I suddenly felt that the countless feelings of powerlessness this time, maybe it was just a process that happened in the future.

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If it is said that every occurrence is actually a kind of doom, can the choice still be called a choice? I remembered that I once said, "The reason why people are worth living is because they can choose." If the choice is never a choice, is my life still worth living?

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"I have class tomorrow, I haven't prepared for it yet."

"I'm taking my mother to the hospital on Thursday."

"Let's go to Yama next week."

Write and remember the recent to-do list. The days that are filled don't seem to have much energy to care about whether it is worth living.

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I don't know if it's worth living, but I'm still willing to live at the moment. Maybe it's because there are countless ties that pull me in my life, so I can still live. If there is a day in my life, just like the Buddha said: "Let go of everything", will I be able to continue to live?

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There is still no answer to the question, but the mouth keeps saying that one day he wants to let go of everything, but he continues to explore the various possibilities of connection between people, and probably will never be able to really let go.

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"What do you think 'love' is?"

"I don't know yet, but I think it's a state of connection right now."

I chatted with K yesterday about "love", and gave a vague answer at the time, but when I think about it now, I suddenly feel that the answer of whether it is worth it or not doesn't seem to matter at all, after all, that is the question that consequentialists only care about.

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After no longer questioning the necessity of living, I still have a lot of vague feelings about "living" itself. The only thing that can be confirmed at the moment is that whether it is talking about ties or love, these will be able to live. must.