Closing Diary 19: Surrender to the Present

I've always wanted to write down my job search experience, and now I'm about to finish my job for three months, and record it.

It was a somewhat bizarre job-hunting encounter. At that time, my attendant course had finished, and I was interviewing for a home attendant [Note 1] , but it was not going well. The list of companies in hand is either I don't like it or I don't like it. The T company highly recommended by my classmates was almost the worst interview experience in my life.

In order not to let the mood of looking for a job affect the rhythm of life, I only spend a little time on it every day. I understand that work will start shortly, so there is no need to rush. During the period, I also went to Chiayi to play.

 [Note 1] Because I was off work and went home to take care of my relatives, I became acquainted with the job of a maid. During that time, my family said, "You're better than a maid!" It impressed me deeply and became my inspiration for finding a job in the future.

During the trip to Chiayi, I accidentally learned that the friend I visited also happened to be in the long-term care industry. She took out a stack of drawing paper and shared with me how to lead the elders to draw at the alley station [Note 2] . Looking at those pictures, I was almost speechless, unable to describe the overflowing emotion with limited words. I not only feel great joy from their paintings, but also comfort myself, who has been frustrated many times in the creative process.

I think this is the best job in the world! I don't mean teaching people to draw, but leading people to explore and find ways to make themselves happy.

I really wish I could do this kind of work, but I don't dare to think about it... Although I like to draw, but when I think of drawing people, my scalp tingles and I have imposter syndrome. I'm afraid that I can't teach, that I'm not qualified...there are a lot of fears. I guess that opportunity doesn't belong to me.

Unexpectedly, the trip to Chiayi seemed like a prophecy, because after returning to Meinong, the opportunity really came before me.

 [Note 2] There are many ways to go after the attendant care course. You can work as a caregiver in long-term care institutions such as nursing homes, nursing homes, or hospitals. The most common is home service, also known as home care attendant, referred to as home attendant. In addition, the day care center and the Changzhao alleys and Changzhao stations set up in the community will also be equipped with a certain proportion of care waiters!

It was a company very close to Xiong's house, on the same street. The distance between the two traffic lights, even I was surprised why I came to the interview so late. It feels like something is always standing in my way. After going through the T company recommended by classmates, the G company introduced by Xiong Ma, and the C company used by Xiong's family... Now it's finally its turn.

During the interview process, the other party took the initiative to propose another way that was more suitable for me. The option of taking a drawing class at the alley station just reappeared in front of me in a form that I couldn't understand and didn't expect.

I'm speechless again because isn't this what my friend just showed me a few days ago? In addition to the surprise, there is more worry, worrying that I can't do it, I can't do it. And for the past few months I've been working towards the goal of being a maid. This job has the characteristics of flexible working hours, which is suitable for creation [Note 3] . Now that Cheng Yaojin is suddenly killed, I am also at a loss. Soon it became an annoyance because I didn't know how to respond.

Right now I have two options:

1. Adhere to your own ideas and be a servant (creation priority)
2. Accept the other party's proposal and take the course at the Alley Station (work priority)

 [Note 3] Economic considerations are the most important reason for finding a job, for a longer-term creative path. But actually, that's not all. Since I moved to Meinong at the end of last year, I have always wanted to have a deeper understanding of this land. Work is a great entry point, it helps me get in the ground and see what is needed here and what I can offer it.

At that time, I just finished watching "The Experiment of Surrender". The author has for decades built his dramatic life by letting go of the things that come to him through surrender and constant abandonment of himself.

"Life is shaping me every day to be who I have to be to handle tomorrow's tasks, and all I have to do is let go and not resist the process" - Mike Singer, "The Surrender Experiment"

Keeping journaling also made me notice one thing:

When I carefully plan my own blueprint, life seems to have its own plans. Sometimes I want to push away the resistance from it and go my way. Later, I gradually couldn't tell whether the force was resistance or assistance, and which one did I use all my strength to belong to?

Should I continue to be a maid, or accept this unexpected invitation? Which is the life support?

As stubborn as I am, in the past, I would definitely not easily compromise on things that affect my creation. But the synchronicity of this series of events made me want to try and let go of the invitation in front of me. Stop struggling, just relax, let go, and explore what the situation at hand asks me to do.

Achievement of the month ( 2021/05 )

• Creation: Complete the hen white line map - v2 daily useful articles ✌️️️✌️️️✌️️️ (If you are interested, you can click here to download)

• Music: Complete the recording and editing of the self-composed song [Life] 🎉 🎉 🎉
• Articles: 0
• Read: "The Awakened You"
• Work: starting classes, shutting down the epidemic, organizing warehouses, planting flowers, graphic design
• Maolin high tree walk
• The year card drawn this year, May is: closed

"Retirement Diary" is a self-exploration diary that I started serializing after I left my job at the age of 30, one piece per month. Interested can follow : Facebook | Instagram