Understanding Freedom (4) First time overseas

When I first arrived in the United States, I felt left out. After traveling thousands of miles to a foreign country, I look forward to a warm welcome ceremony and a well-organized life. However, I only got a piece of paper, and I had to follow the instructions on the paper to go everywhere by myself: registration, payment, medical examination, renting. This would have been perfectly normal: I was just a student, not a state guest. Feeling left out is just because I'm too used to being arranged by others; or, just because I'm not used to arranging my own life.

Now it seems that this little prelude can be said to be a warning to me from the United States: Here, you have the right to be free, so you also have the responsibility of self-reliance.

America is indeed a free country. In the first few years, I realized three things deeply. The first is freedom of information. Any power can be criticized, any history can be pursued, and there is no official ideology. The result: multiple versions of the narrative can be found about any piece of history.

A book that had a great influence on me was "Memoirs of Mao Zedong's Personal Doctor" by Li Zhisui. I grew up in China in a time when modern Chinese history was relatively open-minded. There are many stories about Mao Zedong in the media that criticized him, but the fragmented and obscure words were not enough for me to form an opinion of Mao Zedong. a holistic understanding. Li Shu stitched together many fragments of my understanding, and a living person appeared in front of my eyes.

At the same time, I also noticed a lot of doubts about Li Shu from China.

This is the second time I see two completely contradictory interpretations of the same object. The result of the choice is that the more three-dimensional, more life-like version easily prevails.

Every choice is an ordeal, big or small, but also a good life lesson. What this class taught me was the trick to learning history: understanding people. Confucius said: "Look at the reason, look at the cause, look at the safety. How thin is the person? How thin is the person?" (廋: hidden). After understanding the motivation of a person's behavior, the historical events scattered all over the place are immediately connected with each other and have life.

The second is freedom of vision. My American classmates treat their studies as a part of life. They live very relaxed and seem to have endless time to play, socialize, and exercise, unlike foreign students like me, who only focus on their studies. They distributed their energies freely, and they all went on to achieve success: some became good scientists, some became corporate executives.

Some students eventually gave up the ivory tower and went to middle school to become teachers. From the traditional point of view, this may seem like a failure, but if their choice is not to escape from the negative freedom, but to pursue the positive freedom of their nature after calm consideration, then they are successful.

Just as freedom of information requires the consumer of information to choose between contradictory information, freedom of vision requires a person to choose between multiple behavioral options in his vision. For American classmates, being a hard-working good student or graduating with ease seems to be a reasonable choice. For me, there is only one way to be a good student. However, although I did not experience the torment of choice, it seems easier than my American classmates, but because this road is not my enthusiastic choice, I am just being pushed by a kind of inertia, so it can only be Half-hearted.

The freedom of vision even includes eating. In a cafeteria, I had to choose between craving a full stomach and then having an upset stomach, and throttling my cravings for the sake of my body. No one told me which one to choose. It was also a torment, and a lesson that taught me to be fully responsible for my choices.

Coming to America was a watershed moment in my way of life: before that, a life arranged by others; after that, a life of constant choice. It took me a long time to slowly adjust to the latter life.

The third impression is Americans' respect for the freedom of others. Everyone seems to have strict respect for the autonomy of others. No matter how disparate the status of the two sides, any request to the other side is the word "please" first. Kindergarten teachers kneel or sit on the ground to talk to children so they can look at themselves. The result of this ethos is that everyone seems to live in pride, the faces of children, manual workers, and even beggars are full of inviolable dignity, and few are scowling or looking away. This is what a person who grew up in freedom looks like, a landscape I have never seen in China.

Many Chinese know that Americans advocate personal struggle, but what I pay more attention to is their meticulous consideration for others, especially for the weak. All large buildings have ramps for wheelchair access and electric buttons to open doors for wheelchair users; buses have lifts specially designed for wheelchairs. Various designs are considerate. For example, the doors of public buildings can be directly pushed open from the inside without a key, to prevent someone from being locked in the building and unable to get out in the event of a fire. Fire safety doors are pushed outwards rather than inwards, because in the latter case, it would be difficult to open the door with many people crowded in front of the door in the event of a fire. Some people think it's all about manufacturers' fuss about design in pursuit of maximum profit, but what I see is a kind of compassion that can consider the needs of others.

These human-friendly designs in turn make their users feel friendly to the society and make them willing to give back to the society. The cohesion of a society is thus formed, and its root lies in the freedom of the individual.

The American Civil War was a fight between two groups of white men for the freedom of a nation of another color. That's because freedom for Americans is not just an ordinary word in a vast ocean of language, but their beliefs. They have to fight for freedom not only for themselves, but also for people of other skin colors, and even for people in many far corners of the earth, and although their understanding of the world is often naive, their efforts sometimes end in failure and become a crowd of ignorant people. The laughing stock of bystanders what freedom is.

Although there are many aspects of this free world that I admire, it always seems to be separated from me by a thick wall of glass. I am the monkey that was raised in a cage: by the time the cage door finally opened after many years, I was completely used to life in a cage.

When I took out the photos at that time, the expressions of my American classmates were vivid, and mine was bitter.

My depression is still going on. A free life is a life that can only be controlled by the strong, and I am not qualified.