awaiting judgment

After the inspection process is over, the period of waiting to see the report is like a defendant waiting for a verdict.

I don't have experience with being a defendant, but I thought, maybe there's no better analogy. However, defendants in court still have clear and reasonable things to rely on, including lawyers, laws, and cross-examination and defense in court. But those who waited for the doctor to read the report had nothing in their hands.

Sick: "Why do I have this?"

Doctor: "Physical fitness." (Does it mean fate?)

Illness: "Why didn't I find it when I went to check?"

Doctor: "I can't give you the answer." (Who else can tell me?)

The defendant in the court may also have the environment, external conditions, physical and mental state, etc., and can share the responsibility and reduce the punishment, but the person who waits for the doctor to read the examination report can only blame himself and shoulder the responsibility.

Was it because he was too negligent before?

Are you procrastinating too much?

Are you being too patient?

But fortunately, there is one gratifying thing: no matter what the verdict is, the worst thing is to get a fixed-term prison sentence with parole, and it will not be worse. It's no worse than a person who is not sick, because after all, everyone who comes to this world for a walk can be regarded as "fixed-term imprisonment". The difference is only in the feeling of this trip and the life in prison during the sentence.

Then take it as a congratulation, because those who are waiting for the doctor's judgment seem to have another opportunity to rethink the value of life: how to live after being sentenced? How to live a more meaningful life than before being sentenced? ──It's like having two lives.

Tell yourself that no matter what, it’s not a bad thing, it’s not worse than others, it’s meaningful, and it’s all in time.