Reading to see life | "Stable: Learn to catch yourself, 4 lessons for unsettling life"

陳穩
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IPFS
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Analyze self-state (should/actually, self-confidence/inferiority or paranoia, etc.), recognize special mentality, a selection of golden sentences.

Analyze self-state

It should be

The reason why a person behaves as he should be is to gain the approval and acceptance of others.

Whether it’s emotion or action, the schism between what should be and what is is always torturous.

Attempts to overcome the tension caused by inner division by pursuing external things such as power, fame, wealth, etc. (as they should be) will not succeed. Such groups have never become masters of their own hearts.

True

Understand the emotions of the real, and don’t let the real have the upper hand.

  1. observe true emotions
  2. Try not to whitewash/hide emotions
  3. Believe in yourself (people who are used to denying themselves tend to fall into self-doubt and become confused about their own state)
  4. Openly accept your feelings (hate is hate/like is like)
American psychologist David Seabury said: "By 'living well', I mean accepting life as it is, yourself as it is, and outcomes as it is. Take the opportunity, do what you can, and be satisfied with the outcome."

For those who are obsessed with what they lack, there may be unsolved problems in their subconscious. If they are always compared with "perfect", they will always be a loser.

Confidence, inferiority and paranoia

Self-confidence is a kind of trust in life; superiority and inferiority are very similar, both stem from the inability to accept oneself.

"Emotional stability" can be used to distinguish confidence from superiority, which is usually more unstable.

An American psychoanalyst said: "A person who is prone to paranoia mostly meets two conditions: 1. He has something he is particularly concerned about. 2. He can feel his weakness and think that he is likely to lose everything he has. ”

Weaknesses related to important things are likely to be a source of restlessness, which can lead to defensiveness and fear.

emotional attitude

The relationship connected by desire and fear is more fragile than imagined.

Beyond desire and fear, people who simply pay for friendship and love are also powerful. Cherish the emotion and face the relationship head on.

Read to see life | "ROLAND: Me, and Beyond Me" also mentioned that human beings will not be bound by fear.

Have a purpose but not always be attached to it

Knowing that health, knowledge, money, or fame does not equal "me".

If you don't get something, you're not stable, which means your "self" isn't established.

Maybe this day is neither for health nor for money, but it is a day to live without yourself.
A "no harvest day" seems unproductive and necessary for growth.

You don't need to measure everything by "usefulness", and you don't need to be ashamed of yourself for engaging in "seemingly meaningless activities", just like you are an upright person who doesn't need to declare anything.

Recognize a special state of mind

low self-worth

It is easy to feel pain because of weakness, lovelorn, and failure, and then it is reflected in abnormal behavior.

For example, couples with marital problems often use "for the sake of their children" as the reason, but in fact it is likely that they do not have the courage to divorce.

moral particularism

Follow the rules to your own people, but don't care about others. Ethical standards for internal and external use are inconsistent.

For example, a "disqualified traveler" does not care about merit and etiquette when going abroad or traveling abroad.

Messianic Plot (Savior Plot)

Most of the plots of wanting to redeem others come from a strong sense of inferiority, not really for the other party (the other party may not really need to be rescued), but just to reduce the inferiority complex.

For example, he often preaches to others, entangles certain objects, and maybe some false Taoism.

Stable: 4 Lessons on Learning to Catch Yourself and Solving Your Uneasy Life" Highlights / Extracted from the e-book cover

Chapter golden sentence

Face up to your feelings, anxiety can turn into stability

Unsatisfied coquetry desire hinders one's maturity, while suppression of coquetry desire leads to lack of self-awareness
Try to accept yourself as you are, people who pursue perfection too much are prone to heart disease
Find the right goal to establish yourself

Knowing your weak self can turn anxiety into stability

Let go of fear and become free
no one belongs to anyone

Knowing the truth of the heart can turn anxiety into stability

If you love right, you can start a new life
Don't seek prestige through work

If you don't force yourself to communicate with people, anxiety can be turned into stability

Don't lose yourself by "coexisting" with each other
Not forcing yourself and others is the basic of interpersonal relationship
you don't need to be perfect

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陳穩「生活,見微知萌。」開過飛機、待過醫療業、當過模特和老師。人生系作家,自暈體質,是心理男也是心理女。 📝閱讀書評/心理成長/航空科普/原創小說/生活感悟📖知音可貴難覓,說書只為知己,一朝聽書即為子期。✨合作邀約歡迎至文章下方留言,或請移駕至 Facebook 粉絲專頁私訊!
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