Everyone will die

We always talk about death too easily, because that is the final outcome of everyone, and a person’s life is the road to death—approaching death every day, and trying to live is the greatest resistance—after I thought about this, I found that people Living is a kind of motivation. There is no need to say who has done what great things. Maybe, as Camus said, everything in the world, including virtue and morality, is meaningless. Sticking to these principles that will eventually pass away becomes a kind of "ridiculous".

People die every day and it's not my turn today. It's just luck, thanks to medical advances, and maybe my efforts.

Some people say that when you go through an illness, you let go of a lot of baggage, but based on my experience with breast cancer about a month ago, "letting go of the baggage" is not an option for everyone. I'm still worried about the little scars on my body, the red spots on my face from allergies, and the books I haven't finished reading after sleeping too much... Others may say when they hear it: take good care of yourself when you're sick, don't care about those little things!

But the problem is that I am still alive, the sick and the dead are different. The patients were moved around like objects in the hospital, and the patients were asked to open their body parts easily to be inspected, but even with only one breath left, I still had the same self-esteem as when I was healthy.

Everyone is bound to die, and the sick are not closer to death.

Last week, I had a partial mastectomy under full anesthesia, and the moment I was taken out of the operating room, I just woke up. The first sentence I heard was: "The patient has a fever of 39.9 degrees." I was conscious but couldn't move and my eyes were open. No, I am worried that this is my final outcome: "After the operation, the disease will be caused, and the high fever will not subside and die." It sounds a bit unfair.

A thought flashed through my mind. The doctor would go to the waiting room and tell my aunt, "The operation went well, but the patient... died." Because the anesthesia has not been completely eliminated, I will suddenly speak like a drunken mouth, and I also remember seeing people who have just had a knife say obscenities in novels and plays - at that moment, I was still afraid of embarrassing myself. . Instead, he didn't think about what would happen if he died.

And, compared to "death", is "being embarrassed" a trivial matter?

Finally, I never thought about whether I would have regrets before (when) I died, this is a hypothetical question, even for a patient who was judged to have only a few years left to live, the moment of death came suddenly and unexpectedly. People's thoughts are changing all the time. I can't predict what thoughts I will have at the moment, and any regrets can't be spread out. Those will be as mysterious as death.

I was so selfish that I found out at the end that I didn't mention other people.