the dead shirley

It's not easy to write about this journey, because it's my pain.

I never thought that I, who had never raised a real pet (fish?), would become the owner of three cats and live a happy and helpless life as a cat slave. However, I lost my first cat last year. Baby cat - Shirley.

On 109/2/10, Shirley took her to the veterinary hospital for her symptoms of asthma and cough. After the doctor's photo and ultrasound, it was found that there was pleural effusion in its pleural cavity, and it was suspected of having a tumor in the heart.

After returning from the hospital, Shirley's spirit and appetite began to deteriorate, and after only a week, she began to have coughing and wheezing again, and went to the hospital again to get a pump of stagnant water.

The veterinarian explained very seriously and cautiously that sedatives are required for pumping stagnant water. In terms of Shirley's heart state and age (10 years and 3 months, which is equivalent to about 55-60 years old in humans) It is a danger, so we try to control it with medicine as much as possible. However, the process of feeding the medicine is often not smooth. Every time it is like fighting a war, it is always bitten or spit out by it. In addition, it is more and more reluctant to take the initiative to eat, even water. Drinking less and less, losing weight all the way, and dehydration. Later, my friend recommended a gravy. We could only force it to give it a chance to eat, and it seemed to improve gradually. We felt relieved for this, but unfortunately it did not last for a long time. The doctor once said that its condition really does not know how long it can last...

In the past two days from 3/6 to 3/7, its hind legs have become weaker and weaker, and it can't even sit on the stool directly. This is quite embarrassing for Shirley. She has always been very clean. As long as the cat litter is a little dirty, she is reluctant to go to the toilet. Sitting on his own poop, its eyes looked very helpless, and it was very distressing to see, so I had to quickly take it to the bathroom with my daughter to wash it.

That night, I was crawling on the Internet and saw that heart problems can also cause arterial thrombosis, causing paralysis of the hind legs. I was absolutely terrified. In the middle of the night, I couldn't do anything, I could only think it was this symptom, and then I cried very sadly, remembering that the doctor once said that you can talk to the cat, which is also a way of saying goodbye. It speaks from the heart.

So I said to Shirley with tears in my eyes, "Li-chan, if you are really uncomfortable and in pain, you can leave with confidence, it doesn't matter, father, mother, brother, and sister will all accept your departure very strongly. Mom loves you very much, and doesn't want you to leave, but if you really can't stand it anymore, then..." As he spoke, he began to sob again. I poured out emotions.

Seriously, it's really hard to say these things, but I don't want it to keep ninjas out for worrying about us. That night, I had nightmares all the time. No matter where we went, we always forgot to take Shirley out. What a terrible dream.

On the morning of 3/8 Sunday, we rushed to the hospital to see if it was an arterial thrombosis. After the doctor tested it and determined it was not, we were relieved. It's just that it's too weak and still dehydrated, and the doctor injected it with drips to rehydrate it before letting us take it home.

When we got home we fed it a little more gravy and we were pleasantly surprised that it was able to get up and walk a short distance.

I didn't expect the good times to be short-lived. At night when our family was having dinner, it lay on the chair and started barking at us, as if trying to explain something, and then started panting and breathing again, which was worse than before. It was serious, so we were sent to the hospital again...

When we went to the hospital that night, the doctor said: It seems that we still have to pump the stagnant water (although this doctor is not the original attending doctor, he still explained very patiently), but he also reminded us that shock may be caused in the process of taking tranquilizers, but It's also possible to alleviate the breathlessness and maybe stay with us for a while longer. In fact, I really decided to pump the stagnant water for the words "can stay with us for a while longer".

In order to pump the pleural effusion for it, the doctor had to put in the injection needle before applying the tranquilizer. This action not only made it painful, but also made it so tense that it bit my hand in front of it. It was also because it was so tense that it caused a shock... My daughter and I both broke down and cried. Even the doctor asked me if I needed first aid, but I couldn't answer at all. In just 2 minutes, I couldn't make a decision. In the end, I had to shake my head in pain and said that I didn't need first aid, because I really couldn't say it.

Then the doctor auscultated again, confirmed that the heart was no longer beating, and announced that Shirley was really gone.

I was bitten by it on the 3/8 day, the wound was so deep that I cried out in pain, but this time I couldn't be angry with it anymore, I hoped it would come to me again~ but there was no chance.

At 7:12 pm on March 8, 109, my baby Shirley suffered from asthma due to the accumulation of water in the thoracic cavity, and finally suffered a heart attack and was picked up by her father. She will no longer be in pain and will no longer be out of breath. This bite wound was the gift it gave me before he left.

I really missed it at the time.

So I kept thinking what the hell did I do? At that time, let it go to the hospital, right? Maybe it just wants to spend this last moment with us at home... and we see it out of breath, thinking that taking it to the hospital can make it recover... but how scared it is to go to the hospital, and the nervousness makes it Losing control and losing its heart at the same time. The moment I saw it opened its mouth and let out its last breath, my daughter's heart and I were both broken, and it was so painful and distressing.

At that time, we didn't even know that we were in shock. We thought it was the tranquilizer that worked. In fact, it went into shock before the tranquilizer could be injected. I broke down and cried on the spot and couldn't help myself, because it was too fast, and it was too late for us to accept this fact, and it was too soon to feel real, because it didn't close its eyes, and I seemed to see the beating of my heart.

It only took a short ten minutes from entering the clinic to the time it left... I always feel that I caused it to leave so early. This thought keeps stinging me. Whenever I see this wound on my hand, it reminds me of it. How painful. At first, I didn't even want to treat the wound, thinking I should suffer from this, but after all, it was an infection, so I went to see the doctor, and the surgeon said, "Why are you so inattentive."

Although I know that self-blame can't change its life, it still can't stop, that night was short and long...

In those days, I was looking for a suitable photo, and I started to open the photos with it. Every one of them has a beautiful and interesting memory, so I sometimes cry and sometimes laugh.

The son said sadly that he did not want to keep pets in the future. However, his daughter and son thought differently, "Because the pain is temporary, but the beauty, laughter and happiness they bring are deeply rooted in our hearts."

Shirley, we really miss you.

I would like to represent our thoughts for Shirley with this article, and thank her for her company for more than 10 years. Thank you for choosing a day when our whole family is there to leave, so that we can give her a ride.

I'll take this bite as a sign that it wants me to remember it forever, my dear Shirley.