Reading Notes "The Hollow Man: Embracing Souls That Long to Be Loved"

●Alive, but do not feel a solid future and the meaning of life. Live, have the body of self, but lack the self-confidence from the heart. Live, want to get close to people, but lack the ability to bond. When people lack faith, future, and love in their hearts, they stand on the verge of self-destruction in their own unique ways. So sometimes I am lost, sometimes lonely, sometimes I hate myself... Slowly, my heart is empty. Unable to keep the temperature of the heartbeat, it becomes a "hollow" state.

●May we fall into a "hollow" state without knowing it? "Hollow", a state of losing vitality and creativity, we use more of our minds to deal with life, but ignore our hearts and instincts, and lose the ability to contact true emotions and understand ourselves.

●The state of being hollow is not scary, what should be feared is that we dare not face it.

●Happiness, sorrow, joy, terror, fear, and fear are the basic human emotions described in psychology. However, when a person finds that these feelings are no longer able to ripple in his heart, he will probably come into contact with the so-called "no love" feeling.

●Some people say that people who commit suicide are selfish. After they die, they leave the problem to others. This is undoubtedly a super big prejudice. Because there are many people in the world who appear to be "selfish" in your eyes, but they are actually extremely considerate and gentle inside.

●Perhaps it is precisely because there is a significant hope and standard for "living" that huge "pain" arises in the gap between reality and ideal.

●Under your terrifying appearance, there is nothing but a wounded child. It turns out that every violent person in the family is expressing his inner hurt with strong emotions.

●What percentage of adults in this world do you think are satisfied and happy with their lives from the bottom of their hearts? I'm just afraid that if they live for too long, they will gradually be assimilated into such adults.

● In fact, I do have a lot of love. This love was just given to me in different ways: the scars left, the cautious mood, the tension that broke at the touch of a...  They all think that love needs to be round to be enough, and that love needs to be gorgeous to be called love, even if all we need is a hug, a sentence of approval, and a smile.

●Perhaps the expression of love can be felt in the simplest way, but they just haven't found the easiest way to love you, and they can't find the fastest and smoothest way to reach your heart. They always take their time, try other rough roads, and always look for you in that dark forest, because they were found there too. You just need to stay where the sun shines and wait, don't panic, don't be afraid, let them follow the shadows to see you, and then you just respond gently and approach them slowly.

●What kind of existence is the real self? To quote the psychologist Winnicott (Donald Woods Winnicott), it is a behavioral state issued by us conforming to our inner nature without any external intervention.

●Three levels of "hollow":

Tier 1: Fairly healthy. There is still room within us that allows me to exist, and even though I sometimes feel tired from life, I can still look forward to the future, hoping that one day I can live the life I love.

The second level: The false self and the true self are divided into two opposing worlds. We have a face in front of a person and a set of secret lives hidden behind people. For example, some people are meticulous office workers during the day, but they can't do without the carnival of the hotel at night.

The third layer: The false self has eroded the space where the true self exists, and even exists by pretending to be the true self. At this time, we are like putting on armor to arm ourselves, but we may not be able to know ourselves. When we step into an intimate relationship, this This false self is easy to disintegrate, making us feel the emptiness, anxiety and panic in our hearts.

So, there will come a day when we have to face the false life and piece together the truths that were once lost.

Then, one day, when we look up at the sun, we will not only be happy because the weather is good, but also hear the sound of the wind, the singing of birds, be moved by the slow fall of the leaves, and admire the new branches on the branches. .

We no longer focus only on the things that are "pleasant" because we understand that being alive is good in itself.

Congratulations, you got out of the hollow state and became a real person.

~Counseling Psychologist/Xu Haoyi, Photographer/Ling Baiwei

~ "The Hollow Man: Embrace the Soul Who Wants to Be Loved"

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