About scars | My 23-year-old years, analyzing the growth rings of life

芝麻貓
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IPFS
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The strokes of color delineate the annual rings of life; the annual rings are buried in scars and memories; it takes me back to 23 years, and perhaps it also fills a certain trace in my heart.

Last night, five more works were put up on NFT . There are currently 14 works in total. I also tried to fill in a short concept for the works in broken English. The works of the illustration department have almost been uploaded. Colors, composite media, pastel crayons, etc., related remakes, please pay attention regularly and track the latest works.


Today, I want to share a little special picture. I decided to share it temporarily, because the teacher asked us to draw our own "life rings" in class today. This is a picture that is biased towards the soul and life. Not necessarily, but it's very rewarding to draw. The growth rings of life do not require any drawing skills, even those who think they can't draw can try to do it.

"Life rings" represent the review and mood of life, as well as one's own feelings about color. It has no fixed answer; it can use realistic methods (strong memories and moods of each period) or romantic methods (although life has Bitter and sour, but recalling these kinds of things is more focused on good memories) or a generalized approach (use 3 years and 5 years as a unit to define this life)...etc, use various moods to recall this life, And put the color you think belongs to that period, and draw a circle or many circles of color for the annual ring.


How many circles does the "annual ring of life" have to be drawn? If an 80-year-old man has to draw 80 circles?

In fact, not necessarily, you can draw according to your strong memory fragments of each period, or recall each period carefully, your own definition of this period (loneliness in this period, happiness in this period, etc.) and what you think represents this period Color, Sesame Cat is 23 years old this year, but has also painted more than 30 circles.


The above, although I heard it from the teacher's class, the definition of "life rings" is not necessarily exactly the same, and the main axis is roughly the same.


Sesame cat's life rings

Slight color difference with the entity

Sesame cat's method of painting annual rings is relatively realistic, giving them color for the strong memory of each period.

The light blue in the center is the original memory fragment of Sesame Cat, which is calm and a little lonely.

The sapphire blue , which is covered in light blue, is very lonely when she grows up, because she has always looked after the house by herself.

The olive green and dark coffee outside the sapphire blue represent a period of illness. When I was a child, I suffered from severe gastroenteritis. I would vomit even after drinking diluted Shupai. There was also one day when I woke up and my feet could not move and it was very painful. I remember that when I woke up that day, I was the only one at home to look after the house. can't move his feet. My family took me to the hospital to see a doctor, but Western medicine couldn't find the problem, so I couldn't walk for several months.

Then it was full of blue , and some purple . It was a lonely day, and I began to feel a little melancholy. This period is probably the period of elementary school. The loneliness at this time is not because of lack of company, but spiritual loneliness. During this period, my family was by my side, but I didn't have my own space to be alone, so I was very impressed that I always got up and continued to lie in bed every day, and I didn't want to go out of the room, because I felt so noisy... so annoying... I didn't have enough time to be alone. time makes me very depressed.

When I got to the junior high school, it was the annual ring of the orange circle. It was a relatively lively and youthful period. After three years in the junior high school, because the class was the representative class of the brigade relay, I would run for at least 1 hour every day in class practice, and I was very relaxed in class. Niu and Sesame Cat are secretly playing gobang with the back seat, or are painting and sleeping.

The red circle outside the orange is the first year of high school. At that time, I had high standards for myself. Every week, I hoped to get the top three in the surgery ranking. There are 45 people in the class. If there are no top three, I will feel that I Very useless... If there is no way to be at the top of the class in such a small class, what should I do when I go out to the society? For me, red is oppressive.

The next purple, gray, and black are from the second to the third year of high school. I am very unhappy, except that I am lost in my own obsessions and the pressure of schoolwork makes me always sleepless. When I was in my second year of high school, in order to reduce the academic pressure, I could spend more time in the surgery department. I volunteered to be transferred to the Ren class (Zhong, Xiao, Ren, Zhong is the strongest academically. Originally, Sesame cat was in the filial piety class, and the Ren class was the easiest to study). The benevolence class thought we were bad students who were not wanted by the filial piety class and were thrown into the benevolence class. The teacher took the lead in excluding us. It happened that the benevolence class students believed in the teacher as a god, so at the beginning, I felt a little bullied by the teacher and classmates. In addition, high school is a design department, and the design department has a strong obsession with "beauty". When walking on the road, they will criticize the city's appearance. When they see the bulletin board, they will despise the beauty and ugliness of the poster. I was under a lot of pressure, and for a while, I became a critic, and it was always scary. . . When I was in the third year of high school, I was faced with the graduation production of a group of eight. I didn't expect my team members to be very irresponsible. They didn't see progress for several months. In the end, I picked up everyone's work and completed it. At least I spent more than 60 hours. , I also sacrificed a lot of sleep time, maybe only 2-4 hours of sleep a day, but my team members were scolded by the teacher for not doing well, they would blame me, and they would also deliberately urge my progress, but those were obviously not my work, It's just that I can't bear to pick it up and finish it, but they will say: You deserve to grab someone else's job, anyway, you must be born this week. The same is true of teachers, who only like to deal with the central figure in the class, ignore the students who cannot control them, and scold the obedient students. When I got home, I just wanted to stay quiet, but I was always disturbed by my family members, and there were all kinds of disputes. Therefore, these group pressures, boredom, and lack of sleep made me deeply impressed by the shadows of this period.

The outer ring of black, gray and purple is yellow . When I was a freshman, I felt that I had finally escaped from home. Too much care made me suffocate, so I was very happy to be independent. This period was innocent and happy, full of yellow and peaceful grass. green.

After yellow, gray and purple came. It was the third year of college. This period was the creative confusion period mentioned in the previous article ; the standardized education has always made me do not know how to start my own "creation" ”, I was very distressed and confused. After college, I wanted to give up painting because I felt that I could not draw works.

The gray-purple period has passed, and the only pink in the annual ring has ushered in. It was around the time of my junior year. I made this pink symbolize the "original heart". I am very happy to have found the original heart of creation (for details, please refer to this article ) , I also feel clear about the future creative path, no longer confused and no longer bound; after the kindergarten, I began to enjoy painting again after a long absence.

The next large circle of yellow and grass green , interspersed with some intermittent lines of lavender and dark blue, is me in this period of time, calm and happy, although at the same time worrying about the heavy responsibility of the future (dark blue Line segment) and troubled by some small troubles (lavender), these are not enough to stop me from the happiness and satisfaction I feel now.


Participating in this community essay "About Scars" is based on the theme of this class "Life Rings". Although there is no very clear description of scars, they do exist in the annual rings and this article, but I don't want to be thorough. I don't want to dissect them and expose them to the public eye, because I'm not that kind of character, and it would make me uncomfortable to do so.


As for how these scars have changed me?

There are many, because there are not only one or two large and small scars mentioned in this article, and some of them are internal injuries. I can only say that the change that I am most grateful for is that after a long period of confusion and self-oppression, I finally regained my original heart. " ; and the most boring gray, purple, and black high school period was my most unhappy time, and it also taught me, "If the group's affairs are bad, they can be broken together, and it's good to be satisfied with your own affairs" ; influence My deepest period was the blue period when I was a child. I always felt lonely when I was alone at home. Now I have become accustomed to loneliness and enjoy loneliness. When I grow up, I like to be alone with myself .



You can also try to draw your own annual rings. The annual rings will not have a fixed appearance, but will vary according to each person's point of view, experience, starting point, character, color feeling...etc.

Sesame rings are on the bottom left↙️

This is the annual rings drawn by the students in the Sesame Cat class. The youngest classmates are from 23 to 80 years old. Everyone's annual rings are very different, and there are not necessarily big and small annual rings because of their age; Personal feelings of color are also different. Some people think that red is enthusiasm or anger, but for me, it is oppression. In the process of painting annual rings, in addition to reviewing the past life, there is also a feeling of healing. .


A large part of the essence of art is "feelings of oneself". Are such growth rings a work of art? Not necessarily, but it must be a starting point for moving towards art; Sesame Cat also hopes that in the next year, it will be able to create a series of works about "life" based on this growth ring. It is only my "life", this creation The target should also be able to participate in one of the three plans for next year in the @hanhanprofessor year- end list essay call~ 😁 (Haha I hope I can be so efficient~)




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