【巴尔干半岛短篇】Sarajevo。窃窃塞拉耶佛

以下，中英文写得是同一回事，但是不互译。

Hill／山丘

在斯里兰卡发生恐怖攻击的这天，我在塞拉耶佛安顿下来了。小公寓位在老城区旁边的山丘上，无论工作还是购物，下山、上山、上山、下山成了生活日常。

进城的路上是一片白色墓碑，嵌在半山腰，很美，也很悲伤。至于那些浮在白色的纪念墙上的死难者名字，即使在阳光照射下，也毫无温度。南斯拉夫内战最末期，超过8000名穆斯林男子一夕被杀害，至于那些在战争期间死的人们，无论几面纪念墙都不够填写。人们说在这里，战争还没结束，只是暂停罢了。但生活在同一个国家的波士尼亚人，无论宗教和种族，左邻右舍，真能再拿起武器相互屠杀吗？

说不可能好像太天真了，这里和外面的世界一样，人类在对彼此的暴行上，从来没有极限。

In the summer of 2019, I lived in a small hillside community bordering the old town of Sarajevo.

Every day, I walked past a cemetery where thousands of Bosnians who died in the Yugoslav War are buried. Vertical tombstones shrouded half the hillside in white, reminding people of the genocide that took place here. There were others elsewhere in the world, and there will be another genocide, another terrorist attack, another hate killing; then another grave, another cemetery, and another monument, with or without the names of those who died. How could a passerby not pause and wonder why humans never stop killing each other?

So-called Privilege／共犯

战争童年博物馆的同事告诉我：一般波士尼亚的大学毕业生，一个月赚600–700马克，是300–350欧元，至于波士尼亚的人均月收入，好像只有200多欧。掐指一算，学校给我的实习补助是当地人平均收入的两倍有余。

当初的战争和现在的难民危机，让塞拉耶佛聚集大量的外国人，当然也有很多是欧洲的自由工作者赖在这里。领外币在波士尼亚生活，绝对是天堂，这里观光区的标价完全和西欧一样，而一块欧元换两元马克，在非观光区，菜价便宜到让人想哭。

房租也是，在塞拉耶佛老城区的黄金地段找了一个两房一厅的公寓，约莫500加币一个月，对来自多伦多我来说这价格算什么。我大大方方地付了钱，庆幸自己的房租比其他去欧盟国家实习的同学都还低，忘了有很多其他城市来的波士尼亚人，他们想来塞拉耶佛打拼，但他们要住哪？这样的房租是他们一个月可以赚的钱，那还是如果他们找得到工作的前提下。外国人带来的观光财让当地人赚的有限，然被推高的房价却默默把自己的国民拒于城市之外。

旅居人均不够高的城市，写部落格文章时可以吹嘘这是冒险犯难，可说穿了，自己终究也只是全球化资本主义下伤害当地人生活的共犯罢了。

The average income of college-educated Bosnian young people is approximately 600 to 700 Bosnian Marks (BAM); that is, if they can find jobs after school. For those who are unfamiliar with BAM, that's equivalent to about 300 to 350 euros. However, “most young people won't even get a job,” according to one of my colleagues at the War Childhood Museum.

For those young people who try to stay in/come to Sarajevo, the biggest challenge might be the rental market. Many international NGOs are operating in Sarajevo, and they bring in a large number of foreigners. Of course, there are also many people coming to experience life in an exotic – and affordable – European city. Foreigners earn euros or US dollars and enjoy a low cost of living. Landlords increase the rental prices, double or triple; and those foreigners pay anyway because it's far cheaper than where they came from. Most of them won't feel guilty, as they believe that they are contributing to Sarajevo's development.

However, neither rising prices nor economic development necessarily improves the lives of young Bosnians. It is hard to live in a city where rent can be as high as their entire salary.

My funding for the summer internship was 950 CAD per month, two times more than the average local income. That amount, in addition to getting to enjoy a three-room apartment in the heart of Sarajevo, was more than reasonable. I was also one of those people who had the luxury of not caring about rental prices.

And that just makes me feel sad.

中文版似乎曾在另一篇文章出现过，这里只为了中英对照。

survivors／幸存者

昨天在战后欧洲六十年之注释里读到这样一段话，

「我们，幸存者，不是真正的目击者……我们是……特异的少数：我们是靠着自己的拐弯抹角，或自己的特性，或自己的好运，而得以免于最不幸遭遇的人。那些真的受到最不幸遭遇的人，那些看到蛇发女怪的人，未能回来诉说这遭遇，或虽回来但不发一语。」

于是又想起在塞拉耶佛的所见所闻。

参观完Gallery 11/07/95后我一张海报都没有买，太令人心碎了。

One of my tasks in the WCM was writing the condition report for some letters written by the children and sent to America during the Siege of Sarajevo. However, even though I had already read and watched a lot of similar stories, movies, and pictures in Sarajevo, I was still heartbroken when I saw those pictures.

'We, the survivors, are not true witnesses......We are......an anomalous minority: we are those who by their prevarications, or their attributes or their good luck did not touch bottom. Those who did so, those who saw the Gorgon, have not returned to tell about it, or they returned mute.' Primo Levi, The Drowned and the Saved.

The above paragraph appeared in a footnote in Tony Judt's Postwar: A History of Europe since 1945. It reminds me of what happened in Sarajevo and Bosnia once again.

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