Failed writers, and those damn days!

First of all, I declare that this article is the last article of this year. It is very long and mixed with flavors. I want to read it again. Because it is a topic, you can choose what you want to watch and watch it. Whether you think you know me or you don't know me at all, this is me anyway.

1. Two full years have passed, and the epidemic is still continuing. How has the pandemic changed your life compared to two years ago? Do you think it can be restored?

From the outbreak of COVID-19 to the present in 2019, the epidemic in Taiwan was once under control, and then broke out again. As the virus continues to mutate and spread, humans are aware of the importance of masks, wear masks, and even enforce national restrictions.

In the future, the "older generation" of us will say to the "young people", "Remember back then, grandma, I didn't need to wear a mask. "

This may be an alternative boon for people with social phobia, but that's not the point. People gradually forget the appearance of the lower face, and are no longer used to it as before. When the mask was taken off, as if seeing an exhibitionist, he showed a terrified look.

People put on masks to save themselves, and even looted like crazy; people also developed vaccines, which became the last killer. In a world dominated by viruses, only vaccines are king; only vaccines are gods.

2. Compared to last year, how has your relationship with your body changed? Do you like your current body more?

Long-term inactivity, staying up late, coupled with various bad habits, my body can be said to be getting worse and worse.

Standing in front of the mirror, staring at me with sharp eyes, he said to me, "My eyes are dull, my scalp is full of greasy dirt, I only notice the pimples and pimples all over my nose, my body is thin, and my whole body has nothing to do with it. place."

But... another voice told me: " Why don't we love ourselves a little more? "

Of course I know, I suck, I suck! But... so what? I try to love the bad self, I try to accept the imperfect self, I try to forgive the will weak self.

I am handsome, I am beautiful. Damn me, it's so good looking...

3. In 2021, where will you (finally) lie flat? (4. Can you really stop working hard?)

I really don't want to work hard, I really don't want to work hard...

In the face of those bad habits, I have tried hard, but I can't stick to it. I know, I know, pain can only be solved by pain, but...

In the face of my own dreams, I have pursued them, but I can't hold on to them. I know, I know that for dreams and ideals, you have to work harder, but...

In the face of those anxiety, pain, and depression, I once fought a war, but I couldn't hold on. I know, I know... I'm really in pain, but I still don't want to give in like this!

I'm sorry, I'm just a muddy beach, I'm so fragile!

"Then don't try too hard!"

"Can I really stop trying?"

" Those who are smarter than you are working hard, how can you not work hard, why are you? " I said to myself.

"Forget it, I still cheer up, come on..."

(Although Auntie, I really don't want to work hard...)

5. Share with us a good book, a good movie or a good song you met in 2021 (6. In 2021, a farewell or an encounter you experienced)

In December 2021, I met Lao Wang Band and I met " An Jiu ".

In 2021, I say goodbye to my joy and I meet my sorrow.

" Take all my sorrows away, don't let me have too much. Those years of contentment, with unlimited freedom. "

" In those times when happiness and sadness were written on our faces, we didn't need to hide our emotions. "

That's right, those years of contentment have unlimited freedom. Having so much, but never satisfied. It's really disgusting, it's like going back to that childhood, carefree, and being a naive "little kid".

I also met " Those Sleepless Nights and Unforgettable Things ".

"It took me three hours to find a way to sleep"

"But I found that the sun has quietly spilled on the sofa in my room"

Seriously, how much anxiety, depression, insomnia do you say? How many more moments of tossing and turning in bed?

"Those who are smarter than you are trying to move forward. I can't help but close my eyes."

"I'm waiting for tomorrow in this lonely world"

So annoying, why are you working so hard? You are running hard on the track, and I can't see your taillights at all. I want to stand up, and I want to catch up with you. You say, who will pull me?

In 2021, I meet my grief, and I try to say goodbye to my grief.

7. In 2021, the thing that made the change

read.

Read those superficial things that are covered on the surface; also read those things that are bottomless, you have to dig hard and read hard to understand things.

What I mean by reading is not just reading, not just picking up a book and " reading ". But really into the world of songs, into the real world of writers, into the real world of art.

Just stay in our world, maybe we can talk to other people through that transparent membrane. But then you can only see the topmost piece, the most superficial piece, the most superficial piece. Of course, there's nothing wrong with being superficial, it's simple and easy to understand, and most people are attracted to that, like who doesn't like handsome, beautiful people?

But sometimes I also like to dig into the inner part, to go deep into their world and find out.

I also like listening to those "commercial songs", even if their lyrics are uninteresting, but after all, the purpose of commercial songs is money, there is nothing to say. And now I will try to find those songs that are full of meaning. They are not only good songs, but I can also hear inspiration from them, and I can also hear philosophy from them, which can be remembered for a lifetime.

Reading is really important, he can change your life, he can change your view of life, of course not immediately.

8. What happened to those damn writing days in 2021?

Oh, what to do, looking at the big headlines on black and white, my mind goes blank; oh, what to do, looking at those unfinished drafts, my mind goes back and forth with anxiety; oh, what to do, looking at those unfinished drafts Rare earnings, my mind kept sighing. What do you propose?

In those days of writing, there are joys, pains, and sorrows. Every time I face endless unfinished drafts, my mind is not only blank, but also anxious. And after that, seeing the scarce income, it is even more desperate.

But someone told me, " I don't write for money, I want to record those words. "

I really wanted to get back the joy of writing, but when I understood what " Like Coin " means, everything changed.

9. How much will writing affect me in 2021?

In July 2021, I joined Matters at that time.

And now it's December, I didn't expect it to be 6 months.

Although I am not very good at this moment, Christmas is very unhappy. but:

If I hadn't come here and met @Code Farmer's daily affairs-li, @JohnShao... How would I learn block training, how would I start Keplr, MetaMask wallet in the semester, how would I Will I learn how to make ISCN and NFT? Even I actually finished reading " Aether Raid ", this long "novel"?

If I hadn't come here and met @毛毳, @林宇... How could I have picked up a brush to explore the function of each pen, to study how to draw each object, To learn how to draw better and better, drawing picture after picture?

If I hadn't come here, I really wouldn't have worked so hard to write and work for that pitiful salary that's less than the base salary. Writing really affects me a lot. Even though he didn't bring me much wealth, he brought me those special experiences and memories.

At a time like this, it really only fits a polite sentence: "Thank you to every author I met here!"

10. The dark history of those writings. (11. Is it really hard to apologize?)

Past articles are all black history.

But really speaking, Matters is often a place of controversy, maybe it can be said to be its own dark history! (The next paragraph will be very abstract, and those who have not experienced it or even do not understand it at all, so please skip it!)

I don't know what to say, but after going through that incident, I deeply experienced what it means to " don't know the true face of Mount Lu, only because of being in this mountain. "

The self in the middle of the event is trapped in that "I'm right, you're all wrong" thought. It's really scary, everyone makes mistakes at some point, but I can't stand my own mistakes, I can't accept my mistakes, and I can't see the whole picture.

This is really scary...

It's so hard to apologize...

But I was wrong...

sorry......

12. Which authors do you hate most at Matters?

The authors I hate the most in Matters are those authors who frequently appear on the homepage every time, like what @reading pen farming, @manreading , and the @lost little prostitute that impresses me a lot... ...they don't just show up frequently, the point is never to go away, ever .

I think I should remind myself from time to time, don't see anything at random, just decontextualize it with self-righteousness, and make a big splash there. So God knows if they have worked hard for ten years to write, and finally waited until someone saw their day, their efforts were finally seen, and even gave up on themselves in the last second and wanted to commit suicide?

In this era where efforts are only basic, they have steady production, they have unique features, and...

What they have is that damn article a hundred times better than you!

13. In 2021, what will give you the deepest sense of meaning or give you the greatest sense of power?

Do you know? A small criticism, a small attack, can bring great lethality. For example, a friend casually said " You sing really bad ", the worst result may be that you don't dare to sing again; another example is a family member's sentence " You can't fulfill your dream ", the worst result may be giving up on your own Chasing your dreams and failing.

Did you know? A little encouragement, a little compliment, can bring a lot of power. For example, the reader's casual sentence "It's so well written! ", the best result may be the self-confidence of his own writing; another example is the reader's sentence " I'm so moved, thank you! ", the best result may be Fall in love with writing, can't stop.

A little encouragement can bring a lot of power...

What I said before is all nonsense. If you have money, everything is easy to talk about. If you don’t have money, go to your daydreams, do it!

14. In 2022, what kind of challenge do you give yourself?

For my writing journey in 2022, I plan to give myself 3 challenges:

1. In 2022, I plan to open a fireplace to start a journey of killing myself. The opening of the perimeter is quite a challenge, and I thought it was hopeless, but after reading this article by @Macao Learning No.16 , I saw hope, and I saw "freedom of wealth".
   
   The operation of the perimeter can be said to be a big problem. Where can I find readers? How can a person maintain a stable post? There are still a lot of problems. How to deal with it?
   
   I decided to work hard on the perimeter from the new year to study the business strategy of the perimeter. But there is one more question, I sent a letter to the mailbox@Matty, but there is no reply, I don't want to fill the mailbox? Of course I know, they are busy to death.
   
   According to the article of Macau Studies, of course, we must start to study how to operate the perimeter well.
   
2. Continuing the above, just give yourself a small goal and let’s break through! Five articles in a row, at least 150 clapping, at least 1 support, and at least 5 comments.
   
   Is it easy? Not for me.
   
   150 claps, maybe that's fine for some, but based on my own research, recent articles haven't performed that well. Not to mention that after I read some authors who wrote about difficult topics, the number of 150 claps is not easy!
   
   The least support is to hope that after reading the article, you can really take away what they want. After all, readers spend money to read your article, not to waste money and time.
   
   A minimum of five comments, which I think is a way of judging how many readers have read it. At the same time, I also hope that my own creation can have some echoes.
   
3. Decided to leave Matters at the end of 2021 and give myself an indefinite annual leave. After that, I decided to find myself and start anew. In addition, I also plan to return to Vocus and Potato Media to review my writing journey.
   
   The work I want to create is not the kind of article that you just read and forget. It is a work that can be seen again and again, tasted and tasted again and again. I hope that these works will be deeply rooted in the hearts of the readers. And the way of expression is not just writing, but also can be achieved in more diverse ways.
   
   Therefore, I decided to study how those powerful authors write so well.
   

15. Share a moment in 2021 that means a lot to you in one photo. (16. Write down one thing that happened this year that you want to record permanently.)

The last painting at the end of 2021 took three days and three nights of painstaking work . Those red paints are all my blood .

"City Afternoon X Time After Work" , inspired by this article by @journey. Looking back on those sweet moments from the past, looking back on those damn days from the past. Looking at the process of these efforts, let go of the past and give yourself an indefinite long vacation!

6 months of hard work, I'm tired, I'm really tired...  

I really want to rest, I really want to lie down on the bed...

Just let me leave the city, stay away from the city, stay in the country...

I decided to give myself a writing holiday, not to let myself be touched or even tainted. At the same time, I also decided that I should practice hard and not let myself be so "rough".

17. Please fill in the blanks: 2021, the city afternoon X hours of work matters

To adapt that quote from "Nomads" that I love so much: "There is no final goodbye, we all say, 'See you on our way to writing!'"