Stay away from anxiety | socializing is really scary

Socializing is really scary

Although I don't have a definite diagnosis of whether I have social phobia or other mental illnesses, my most real feelings tell me that socializing with others is really scary. For me, it may be okay to hang out with familiar friends, but just hang out with strangers and get very anxious. As long as someone asks a question, his head will be blank for a moment, and he doesn't know what to say, but in fact, what is more terrifying is the eyes. I think the most terrifying thing is the eyes. No matter what questions other people ask, they will stare at you, which makes my thinking more difficult. At that moment, I really want to dig a hole and bury myself. Obviously, when I am alone, I can think about these questions very well, but when I meet face to face, the original 100% self-confidence instantly becomes 20%. Always think at the beginning: "This time it's definitely possible! I have to tell it!" After the conversation is over, I want to die.

Pandemic helped me

To be honest, this epidemic may be painful for many people, but it is helpful for me. The epidemic has greatly reduced the chance of face-to-face social interaction, so I no longer have to think about "is it good to say this? What should I say?". Although, I can't get rid of video, but it is much better than face-to-face!

Do you think I can't be lonely? Maybe it's because of the social shock that I feel like a person is good; but I personally think that I like to be alone. I don't think there's anything wrong with being alone, and I enjoy being alone, I don't need to worry about anything, I can happily write articles, read books, sing, dance... I can do whatever I want, no anxiety. Occasionally want to share something, or find that the pipe connecting people is full of dust, and then find a way to empty it (just kidding). When I think there is something worth sharing, I also share it with my friends, of course, using communication software.

redemption

Before this year, I hadn't faced this social fear, thinking it didn't matter, or that I just didn't have the courage to face it. At first, I had no idea why I was anxious, what was I anxious about? Until I started reading psychology-related books, the first one was the very popular "The Courage to Be Hated". After my research, I found that the book is not entirely Adler's idea, but "Kishimi Adler's Doctrine", but because the focus of this article is not there, I will skip it for the time being. After I read The Courage to Be Hated, I found that maybe I was afraid of the sense of failure brought about by social interaction. I was afraid that others would think that what I said was bad, and I became very anxious, so I thought for a long time. I also realized that it’s not enough to just know the theory, so I went to consult later, and I personally felt that there were signs of improvement, but it’s hard to say that the situation is getting better, but I took the first step. It will not be described in detail here.

stay away from anxiety

Finally, I'm going to talk about how to not be anxious in the face of the epidemic. The way I deal with the virus is actually very simple. It is to do a good job in epidemic prevention and disinfection... Here we should focus on information. I personally think that the best way to deal with information is not to read the news! The news is really It will only make you more and more anxious. You may be concerned about current affairs by watching the news all the time, but it is actually useless. After reading it, you cannot change anything at all. The epidemic will not come down just because you read the news. What we really need now is to take care of ourselves and provide substantial help; help those who do not wear masks, and remind others that although the level 3 alert is slightly lifted, it does not mean that you can go everywhere, and then really don’t watch the news .

I hope that if you have difficulties, you can read more relevant books or go to counseling. If it is not necessary, you may be able to stay away from anxiety and escape. I hope everyone can put down the remote control and stay away from the news!

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Go and see the article I posted on Fangzi: https://vocus.cc/user/60cd6f51fd89780001da9664