[Daily chat] It's okay, just be open-minded!

A few days ago, I attended the farewell ceremony of my wife and grandfather. A series of ceremonies started at 7:00 in the morning, and I finally saw relatives who had never had a chance to visit after the wedding. This feeling is extremely complicated. The outlines are blurred, and the sadness can be felt from their backs...

This is not the first time I have attended a farewell ceremony. My grandmother passed away a few years ago, so this scene is not unfamiliar. Our family left our relatives in Kaohsiung very early to come to Taipei because of my father's debt. In the past, driving back to my grandmother's house every winter vacation was what our family looked forward to most. In my impression, as soon as I entered the door, I was greeted by a smiling grandma and a big hug, as if the depression of the whole semester could be resolved; I especially look forward to chatting with my grandma about the pain in my heart for a while. ......

It's been like this since I was a child. Apart from my obsession with money, "Drilling the bull's horns" is probably a synonym for my Taurus. Even when I was a student when I didn't have any worries, I could have hundreds of question marks about my life, especially when it seemed Always "everyone is good", I actually tried my best to "communicate and entertain". I obviously couldn't stand it. I chose to laugh and laugh for the atmosphere. After a long time, I became timid about the only way to get out of the society. , and "one semester" is probably the maximum limit I can bear to bear the pressure. After this time, I have to go back to see the Great God to solve my doubts...

I remember one year my whole body suddenly grew 15kg! That's right, it evolved directly after a summer vacation and overeating. Although no one cares about mentioning this after a few years, I was extremely unconfident at the time, and the jokes that I could have persevered ended up becoming. Just a no-brainer; walking down the stairs and sweating all over, and not even having the strength to laugh... This made me, who was very concerned about other people's eyes, be excluded by myself, and even the laughter around it seemed to become Laughing, but unsatisfied, he still held on to the smiling face mask until the mask was fixed on his face with tears and snot...

 In one's life, there will be many, many people, and most of them can only occupy a small amount of time in your life. Don't let those people occupy most of the space in your heart. A doctor once said that I was the worst tempered among my friends, but my friends thought it was impossible, because I usually don't get angry, but in fact I just hide it in my heart, so the doctor told me to be more tolerant , to be open-minded to the outside world. So, if you start to think inwardly, think negatively, calm down, take a deep breath, and tell yourself, "It's okay, just be more open-minded!", then you will be able to look at things more neutrally, and you will not be tortured by yourself all the time. ......

Later, as long as you start to feel anxious, nervous, and sad again... Just try to calm down and say to yourself, "It's alright, just be more open-minded!" When I opened, I immediately felt that many things could be solved. Since then, when I returned to Kaohsiung, I stopped complaining about life and worrying about the future. Looking at my grandmother's gratified eyes, I knew that I had grown a lot.

One year, when I returned to Kaohsiung, I heard that my grandmother had suffered a small stroke in her brain stem a while ago. After a blank space in my mind, what I learned in school about post-stroke physical therapy... "The chance of having another stroke is very high. , the brain stem is the most dangerous position"... Afterwards, although my grandmother still smiled, the tiredness hidden under the wrinkles has long been revealed...

When I heard the news from my grandmother again, I was already in the hospital. This time, the situation was really not ideal. I also experienced a life-and-death first aid. It is conceivable that my grandmother was completely unrecognizable at this time, and even the chest may be bruised everywhere due to the first aid process. . I heard that my grandmother opened her eyes before she passed away, but apart from tears... or tears...

When I saw my grandmother again at the farewell ceremony, the strange thing was that I was not particularly sad, and even thanked God for being willing to take her away in such a painless way. The two strokes, my grandmother felt dizzy and then fainted. I think what really hurt her was not the stroke but the us who couldn't let go of her and still kept her... So even though she seemed completely emotionless I am actually happy that she just left in pain.

In fact, at that time, I didn’t believe in the “soul” at all, so I didn’t think the “farewell ceremony”, which was labor-intensive and red tape, really had any meaning for the deceased. As a comfort, when the body's energy is not enough to supply the nervous system and stops, the so-called "soul" is long gone, and it is impossible to watch and listen to the blessings of relatives and friends at the scene. Those rituals, etc., are all done. For the living...

But now, I think maybe I can understand the existence of "soul". If a person is not remembered by any creature in the world, and does not exist in anyone's memory, then even if you breathe and your heart beats, it is no different from death; but even if your body is scattered, as long as there is one person who still remembers you, You all "live" in his heart: such a perfect, disease-free and pain-free life in the world...

After the farewell ceremony, I never went back to Kaohsiung to see "Grandma's Tower". After all, that was not my grandmother, but every time I went back to my hometown in previous years, I would still think of the life mentor who accompanied me through difficult times. In the streets, everyone's mouth, the first word when they meet is the moment of congratulations and congratulations, say to the grandmother who lives in the heart: I'm back again, happy new year, Gong Xi Fa Cai... It's okay, it's okay , be open-minded...

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