Weirao Small Fried: Social Media and Self-Presentation | Weirao·JointU

As a channel for modern people to deal with others, social media carries our expression and communication, and shapes how each participant presents himself. Different social media users seem to form different consensuses on sharing and receiving, and behind the users who are divided into countless time and space, the people who press the "send" button may be in completely different emotional states: 囙Some people choose to socialize anonymously, some people hesitate to speak, and some people choose to be visible for three days. In the ever-changing digital information, "I" choose how to present itself, which also seems to be fluid.

 1
Commonly used social media

Hemerocallis | Please share the social media you often use (such as WeChat, Douban, Weibo, Zhihu, etc.)? Which of them do you prefer, how much do you rely on, and why?

Zhang Shupeng|I usually use WeChat, but I don’t use others very much; I occasionally post my photography photos on Weibo. I use WeChat, but I don’t look at Moments, so I don’t know if there are any friends like me. The reason why Weibo is used less is that we feel that the amount of information on Weibo is a bit too much, so we keep swiping when we use it.

Life needs one BGM after another! | WeChat. The interface is simpler and the privacy is stronger. QQ is mainly used to communicate with high school classmates and share college life with them. I also occasionally post tapes. Zhihu is to see what other people think about some issues, not for social purposes.

Hemerocallis|I usually use WeChat, Douban and Tape question box. Wechat is because I usually keep in touch with my family and friends, and sometimes I send a circle of friends to some people who don’t chat very often to update their status. Douban is a general marker for writing book reviews, film reviews, and watching the news of the friends you follow. Tape's words may be somewhere between half-acquaintances and strangers socializing. I feel that I am quite dependent on these social media, and sometimes I am intimidated by my screen time. WeChat feels like it has the widest range, and there are people who are very familiar with some people who are not familiar with it. I rely more on Douban because there is a diary function on it, and sometimes I record my daily schedule on it. At the same time, because people who don’t want to watch on Douban can directly unfollow, they don’t have to worry about disturbing people who don’t want to watch by frequently posting things in WeChat Moments, and many people who follow don’t know well, so posting things will feel more free (a little bit). like a trumpet feel). I really like Tape's anonymous feature, which allows you to ask people who are not so familiar with questions without the burden, and as the respondent, you can also choose to answer when you have time (maybe with less responsibility).

2112 | I used to use QQ before, because most of my classmates connected and shared their life on QQ. But now the most commonly used one has become WeChat, because when going to college, all kinds of information exchanges must be completed in WeChat. In the function of sending and receiving information, in fact, QQ and WeChat are not very different to me; but WeChat has an obvious difference, that is, it has the function of public account and subscription account. Since I started using WeChat a lot at the beginning of the school year, I followed a lot of public accounts that released various information. At first, I thought it was a good thing to get more information/resources, but I gradually disliked the feeling of information overload. I also use Yiyi Weibo, knowing that most of my Weibo accounts are people who are relatively close, so I will post more instant thoughts.

Hemerocallis|When you are disgusted with the feeling of information overload, what channel will you use to adjust it? For example, to close some official accounts or not to read at all/less to use WeChat?

2112 | Regarding the information overload of the official account, my initial negative emotion should be said to be anxiety. After paying attention, I always think: "I must read all these articles". However, the update frequency of the official account is really fast, and my reading speed cannot keep up with the urgency of these information publishers to attract traffic. But later it became a kind of mentality similar to "laying down", because reading what many media platforms posted does not mean that I really understood and internalized the information. So now it is very Buddhist to see what you are interested in and take a look. If you haven't finished it, you won't be overly anxious or demanding that you "must read it all".

Life needs one BGM after another! | I recently felt that NetEase Cloud can also be used as social software. Broadly speaking, many software have social features. I think the functions of NetEase Cloud are far more than what a streaming music software needs. There are a lot of additional tools for making friends and sharing emotions, and it creates the feeling of a virtual community.

Hemerocallis|I think the description of virtual community is very interesting! Can it be said that people have a sense of belonging because of emotional resonance and love for a certain kind of music or song?

Life needs one BGM after another! | I think it's more than that. I remember that the phenomenon of cloud suppression on the Internet was hotly discussed not long ago, that is, some music comment areas of NetEase Cloud seem to attract a large number of people who are prone to emo. When they find that there are also many emo people here, they will gather together to discuss some more emo topics. I think the sense of belonging is justified, and there should be normal discussions among those who like the same genre of music. (Note: emo, Internet term. Abbreviation for emotional, referring to an emotional state.)

 2
Social Anonymous: Break Free From Social Rules

Hemerocallis | The phenomenon of cloud suppression by the Internet is very interesting, it reminds me of an anonymous forum that I like to use. There is an essay section on it, and then users will post some emo diaries in it, and some people will also write a brief introduction at the top of the post. If you write something like "This is a very sad trash can, if you enter it by mistake, please exit", and some people will use the trumpet or post on the Weibo accounts or Douban accounts that are not so acquainted with them. mood and some rants, or use the Tape anonymous question box to ask and answer questions. I think these phenomena are also very interesting, I wonder if you have any ideas?

Juvenile Watt | Recommend an article, "Analysis of the Anonymous Network Social Mode of Acquaintances - Taking Tape Question Box as an Example".

Salt | I feel that one of the advantages of asking anonymously is that you can directly ask what you want to ask without greeting. Usually, if you want to do this kind of in-depth communication, it may take a lot of foreshadowing, but asking questions in Tape can reduce social costs.

Different social media users will have different sharing and receiving consensus. For example, when you choose to click into the question box, we seem to have signed a contract and shared a set of rules. Here's what you might see, you might be unhappy/stressed, which is what readers are willing to pay by default. That's probably one of the reasons people send anonymous essays, Tape question boxes, and write "this is a very sad emotional trash can" in their profiles.

Hemerocallis|Yes, I think of the second point mentioned in that study: "In an anonymous online environment, communication is discontinuous, no immediate response is required, and people's thinking can be more stable and in-depth". For example, if I meet a person in reality, if the other person asks me how I’m doing recently, I may only roughly say “okay”, “not bad”, “very busy”, “mourning”, because I will feel that the other party is not necessarily Are really interested, want to know more, or answer briefly because they don't know how much time they should occupy the other party. But if it's in tape, if someone asks me "how are you doing", I'll assume that the questioner is really interested, and I'll answer in more detail.

Juvenile Watt | I have heard a podcast where the male guests socialized like this and finally got off the list: publicly released the demand, that is, two people have a meal, and then the boy designed a new one based on some basic information of the other party and social platform information A list of questions to communicate. After eating, try not to add WeChat unless you are excited. In this story, the idea of the "question list", excluding the element of seeking divorce, touched me very much. What are you talking about, what a waste of life. Shall we just start talking about ideals and life history?

Sijun Kang | (Offline) There are too many written and unwritten rules to follow when socializing. To be honest, I am very resistant, so I tend to use social software.

Life needs one BGM after another! | I used to do this kind of thing a while ago, throwing some strange questions to my friends for no apparent reason. But I've found that many people are willing to start discussing these topics directly.

Teenage Watt | A friend I met for academic reasons some time ago, originally only had work communication, but one day he suddenly posted a long list of his thoughts on civil society, and I had to answer a lot of them seriously. It felt weird at first, but that's how the exchange started. Socializing is amazing...

Kevin Yin Francis | What I find disturbing about the unwritten rules of social interaction is that different age groups have their own rules, just like our parents were uncomfortable with the emojis and emojis of young people. Maybe social software just excludes you from communicating with someone with a different mindset?

Sijun Kang | Yes, and different relationships have different social rules, such as treating elders, treating customers, treating company superiors and colleagues... It is too complicated and tiring. I sometimes even find that when I talk to someone who is 1-2 years older than me but has been working in the system for a long time, I feel that the other party is a little bit emphasizing the rules, and I feel very tired.

 3
Misfits:
We are in an intertwined emotional time and space

Salt | Moreover, I have a psychological feeling that personal exposure to that fragile psychology needs to be created by a situation - the atmosphere of "let's sit down and have a good chat"; but in daily life, the creation of such a situation is very rare . Whether it is the music emo status of NetEase Cloud or the "to be opened" status of a link in the tape question box, I think they all mean the entrance to a situation.

A common situation that I usually lock on Douban is that after I post something in my own emo, and then I swipe to a broadcast with a completely different atmosphere from my neighbors, I will feel "Everyone is in a different situation, and it may be difficult to feel each other." Right?" Then I'd lock up. It feels like everyone's emotions are an emotion bubble, and it's wonderful to get close to the bubble and communicate, but if the emotion bubble is burst, it will be very hurt, so let's not take the risk...

Hemerocallis | I agree that showing vulnerability requires context creation, and NetEase Cloud or Tape Question Box or that anonymous diary forum creates an emotional atmosphere. In this context, sending emo things or a more "mourning" mood, just You don't feel out of place, and you don't have to worry about being judged.

This is also a very interesting phenomenon. It seems that when people communicate, they will subconsciously take care of the overall mood or atmosphere around them. For example, if a person has a very happy thing, but her friend is in a bad mood (such as anxiety about the paper or sick), then she may not choose to tell her happy thing to her friend now; on the contrary, if a person is very happy now It is sad and sad, but everyone around is celebrating, and this person may choose to swallow the sadness. This also extends to the communication on social media. Sometimes I want to post something in the feed, but I will not post it because I consider some things, such as when I feel that my emotions are out of tune with the emotions of the people around me. Choose to digest by yourself.

Sijun Kang | Mmmm, I remember that I often posted very sad, or concerned about social issues in the Moments, some friends told me that it is best not to do this, the reason is "Everyone looks at Moments for relaxation, why do you post It’s very sad or something that requires strong reflection.” It feels like this kind of response also reflects the default rule of "taking care of the overall mood" to a certain extent.

Salt | Me too! My roommate told me this, but what I did later was to choose to tell my roommate, I put you in another group, right? Then we'll all be more comfortable. My roommate was a little stunned at first, but after a while he understood. We all know that each of us is not malicious, we just want each to be in our own comfortable environment.

Sijun Kang | Well, it may be caused by the different demands of using social platforms. Sometimes being honest can easily confuse others.

Teenage Watt | I have also experienced a similar change, but I am because many people around me are always making fun of my zz position or being yin and yang, so I think, pull it down, then I will occasionally forward a message to prove that I am still alive. The attitude of the politically apathetic towards those with a clear stance may become a topic.

Sijun Kang | In terms of my personal experience, because I am a depressed patient, and my observation of my patients, I found that many times I am actually reluctant to go out to socialize (social fear + physiological neurotransmitters "don't want" you to socialize) , while paying more attention to the feelings of the other party, and at the same time finding it difficult to express their emotions, so sometimes they tend to the following two situations: use the trumpet to express unilaterally on large platforms, or use anonymous emails/questions among acquaintances to express one's heart.

And the more emphasis on social rules, etc., the greater the pressure on people.

 4
Migrate among different social platforms:
another part of me

Life needs one BGM after another! | I've asked a lot of people why they use Tape, and one of the responses I get is that people want people to ask questions to reveal parts of themselves that they don't want to express.

Juvenile Watt | Tape also has a dynamic function. I have seen some people in the list abandon pyq and live in tape more routinely, but this may not be related to the characteristics of tape, but a repetition of the scene, that is: escaping from a platform that is surrounded by many people, Show yourself on a platform that is more niche or less acquaintances pay attention to. If the frequency of onlookers starts to increase again at this time, it may start to migrate again.

Hemerocallis|Maybe because, when more people are watching, you will feel trapped by a certain kind of self-presentation. For example, when few people know who I am and what I am like, I will feel that I can post anything, but once there are more people, I will feel that "I seem to need to show a certain kind of self", and then I want to make some It became difficult to change the image, so I had to escape from the existing space and start a new self-presentation.

Salt | Yeah, I feel the same way. Anonymity seems to be a kind of "tool" to break free of all kinds of rules, which can let me get out: I feel very free when I get rid of the expectations of other people's existing recognition of "I".

 5
Only visible for three days: The me three days ago is not the me I am today

Hemerocallis|Why more and more people choose to be visible in the circle of friends for three days? There are also times when people delete their posts/feeds or make them visible only to them, why do you think this is?

Sijun Kang | My idea is that when you post on your Moments, no matter what you share, there is hope that it will resonate (ideas, achievements, and bad emotions), so there will be such a purpose. Deleting and disappearing I feel that there are thoughts such as "Am I ky in this big environment", or that I don't get any resonance, it's more like complaining, so I hide it. Of course, there is also a situation where some companies will have their superiors mobilize their subordinates to retweet the Moments, which will be deleted/hidden for a few days. (Note: ky comes from Japanese, which is the abbreviation of the Japanese word "empty 気読めない", which means not looking at the atmosphere, generally described as "not looking at the timing and occasion to speak." This note refers to the Internet.)

Life needs one BGM after another! | I have also asked many of my classmates. To sum up, many people think that they are constantly changing, and they always feel that they have changed more from the previous month than this month.

Kevin Yin Francis | "The me I was three days ago is not who I am today".

Life needs one BGM after another! | Or you don't want your new friend to know yourself half a year ago.

Salt | Yes, I think everyone will feel more and more gazes from others as they explore more and more rules. This latent stare already starts to put pressure on us whenever we want to express ourselves.

Hemerocallis|Hey, yes, but I'm also thinking about the phenomenon of "because I feel like I'm constantly changing, so I set it to be visible for three days", and the anonymous essay I talked about earlier has the kind of "combining people's online behavior and personal identities". Does the "separate" feature, as we think, weaken our and others' fixed cognition of the identity of "I", or does it strengthen it? It feels like a hypothesis for these two phenomena might be that "my 'non-anonymous' identity needs to present a coherent, coherent self", so I put all the so-called 'non-coherent' things elsewhere (such as being visible for three days) , hide, anonymize, delete, or post on trumpet).

Mo Zhongyisi | Feeling is also related to the connection between people, maybe I just want to show my own dynamics to those who care about my opinions and life. To miss this moment is to miss it forever.

Teen Watt | Shares an interesting personal experience, albeit not socially related. After watching the movie "1921", I made a wave of rants and recommended a few books that echoed the details in the movie, but no one liked it after a day. Later I learned that this pyq is equivalent to being masked, and no one else can see it.

Sijun Kang | It is really risky to express political opinions. On the one hand, dissidents themselves are easy to be targeted (on various levels), on the other hand, it is difficult to shake consciousness and concepts, and people do not want to see my zzlc, etc. Wait, just... A lot of people swipe and post on Moments just to "relax".

Teenage Watt | Yes, sometimes I think it might push some people away. Maybe others will think "Why is this person always caring about zz so cold?" and this leads to feelings of aloofness, indifference and even disgust. But it's just an occasional thought. After all, caring about those so-called "distant things" is my daily habit, and it may even be related to my academic or professional career, so I have to do it differently.

Sijun Kang | Yes, there are some friends around me who are puzzled and even disgusted by the fact that I always post zz events/discussions on social events.

Mo Zhongyisi | For discussions on political opinions and social affairs, I feel that these are more timely. Although some opinions have always been valuable, just show them to those who want to echo them, and there is no need to pay too much attention to the opinions of others. I feel that social media provides a platform to express myself in a certain sense, but too much evaluation or echo in the outside world will only cause internal and external imbalances. In addition, I think the circle of friends is not necessarily suitable for expressing too profound opinions, because the original intention of most people is to express opinions and share life, and they may not have the will to think deeply. If they really want to convey something, they should also consider suitable form of expression.

Life needs one BGM after another! | I think it is more interesting to discuss with classmates who have common interests when it comes to political opinions.

Sijun Kang | Well, at first I also cared about other people's feelings, but then I thought it was nothing. It is not easy to express, and occasionally resonate.

Salt | Yes! I posted something on Douban before, and after I was suddenly dismissed by people who have been following for a long time, I reflected for a while whether I said something wrong. But then I felt that expressing myself was the original intention... Everyone is just looking for and exploring the stratosphere/new world. Later, I felt more and more that it is more important to maintain a sincere self-expression than the external vision.

 6
Excessive Sharing: Is the Word "Excessive" Discipline?

Hemerocalli sharing” — that is, people are more willing to reveal their innermost feelings on social media than in person. I think of the small compositions and tree holes that people sometimes post on the circle of friends or Weibo and Douban, and the answers in the anonymous question box of Popi/Tape - we seem to be willing to reveal the most private things to the most alienated and even strangers people. Then Agger is not very optimistic about this phenomenon, because he feels that it blurs the boundaries between the private and public spheres, and makes people lose the distinction between the self and the outside world.

What do you think about this phenomenon? Do you feel that you are more willing to share your deepest feelings and thoughts online than face-to-face? Is this sharing "excessive"? What does "excessive" mean? What's the difference between sharing on social media vs. meeting face-to-face to share your innermost thoughts, and is the former really easier?

Teen Watt | First of all, private chats on social media should be similar to face-to-face communication. They are centralized, continuous, and private. The only difference is that the social media interaction scene is separated from the life scene. You don’t need to be so focused and nod your head to say yes. , you can sit on the toilet and talk about Plato, or you can use a bunch of clever words to undertake the other party's emotions with low concentration.

If it is a public dynamic, a possible motivation for sharing is to find people with similar experiences in the vast sea of people to form a field of empathy and a small community to let you know that you are not alone; while soothing your emotions, by the way Find possible ways out in other people's situations. This is different from the mechanism of face-to-face deep chat. You sit with a good friend for three hours. They may not have common experiences, but they are willing to listen and empathize. They will analyze your situation in depth and let you share a certain experience of yours Chew thoroughly.

Salt | This question reminds me of the movie Her. My own feeling is that the sharing of social networks is relatively narrow, and we all want to find something. For example, we are all exchanging ideas here today, and we may be connected to a more moderate and rational port; for example, in the movie "Her", the hero wants a kind of vitality and comfort. Because we resonate a lot in this port, there will be a psychological feeling of "very chatting", but getting along in real life has many dimensions. I may like you in this aspect, but feel uncomfortable in another aspect of you. Therefore, dealing through the Internet, because the contact surface is smaller and the sense of identity is more, it may bring people a better psychological feeling (there is a metaphor of "psychological pressure" suddenly in my mind).

Hemerocallis | Interesting, I feel that it may be easier to "hide" some dimensions because it is hidden behind the screen - for example, even if I am angry when sending WeChat, I can choose to write this message in a very calm or cheerful tone, or After the event, you can deny your emotions at the time, and you can even ask friends to help you write information and send messages.

I personally don't like Agger's description, especially the word "excessive" he uses. Many of the examples he gave are related to mental health and sexuality. I think the "excessive" in "excessive" sharing itself presupposes a situation of "not excessive", which also presupposes a kind of "normal"/reasonable The norms or rules for sharing are like the social rules we talked about earlier. I think this distinction between what is excessive and what is not excessive is itself a discipline, that is, because society wants to establish a "normal" state/a norm and does not want people to discuss some topics. Sometimes people internalize this norm, and they begin to think that they should not share content about these topics, or that these topics are dangerous, unnecessary, and hurting themselves and society.

On the other hand, I think the "excessive" in "excessive sharing" is quite interesting if you look at it from a personal emotional point of view, like Sijun and Mo Zhiyi and Yan mentioned, sometimes hide their own The dynamics of the circle of friends or the dynamics on Douban is a change in mentality caused by the lack of timely resonance. People think they are constantly changing. Sometimes I don't want to share a thing with people, and I don't want to post news on Moments, but I was in a state of excitement at the time, so I posted it. Later, I got out of that state or my thoughts changed, and I felt ashamed. At this time, I will change the dynamic to be visible only to myself, and I will feel that I was "excessive" sharing before.

Salt | Yes, the state of life and emotions are really easy to flow. Sometimes, when I look at it again, I can't empathize. But I still think it's worth recording these moments. Here, the excess may not be sharing, but life itself.

Contribution | Liu Kexuan, Lin Jiayan, Wang Jichen

Figure | From the Internet

Reviewer | Alicia

WeChat Editor | Bibo

matters editor | Gigi

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