"Crows in a wheat field."

Date: 2021.12.19

Location: Kaohsiung City

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The result of the referendum was as I voted, but the mood was the same as after the Wang Leehom incident, there was no special feeling. Even though he has always been actively involved in politics, he is constantly on the lookout for accidentally turning into a sand pig. But no matter whether the referendum is positive or negative, the persuasion method constantly threatens the person who tries to choose the other side with a certain result. No matter scolding boys or girls, they are just stepping on what they believe to be "correct" to look at each other. .

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In the end it seemed that the loud side won the result, but it seemed that it was just looks. After all, in the limited field of vision of human beings, what can really see is only the moment, and the so-called "correct" is only in front of such a limited view.

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I just feel that if I can only see this moment, I am willing to actively participate in politics, and I am willing to be sensitive to whether what I am doing is a sand pig.

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Use time to cut life, this year is an uneasy year. From making up his mind to start a business, then resigning, finally being unable to start a business and breaking up, having a financial dispute with a partner, and then finally negotiating. At the beginning of the year, I spent a lot of effort to clarify the vague relationship in the past. I finally gave myself an explanation, and then I had a new partner, but I kept arguing about it. In just half a year, I don't know how many times we have broken up.

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I have been working hard to live a good life, trying to do something for my life, but I have always been in a state of being stuck and floating.

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"You are almost thirty years old, can you stop thinking about things all the time and be more stable?"

"My dad scolded me like this yesterday, but when he scolded me, I thought of you. You are more bullshit than me."

A while ago, I was chatting with S about each other's recent situation, he said that his father scolded him for not being unrealistic, and he thought of me. Because there are more unstable people than him.

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Sometimes I don't know what "stable" really means. I originally thought that it would be stable to work hard to participate in every moment of my life's choices, and to take every step in my life steadily, but based on the current results, it seems that this is not the case at all.

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Recently I bought the painting of "Wheat Field with Crows" as a mobile phone case, which was the last painting of Van Gogh's life. Van Gogh saw no value in the results during his lifetime, but he continued to draw. In the painting, there is a wheat field with no end in sight, and the crow, who is a symbol of death by posterity, doesn't know what Van Gogh wanted to say, or what the blue sky behind the wheat field will look like, but if he doesn't move forward, only the crow waits for him. .

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I still don’t know what “stability” is, or even whether I need it or not, and I don’t know where I can go if I continue to step on the pace of “working hard to participate in life”, but I hope that no matter what, I am willing to move on.

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You can search and read the picture of the deity of the crows in the wheat field on the Internet.