"significance."

Date: 2022.05.18

Location: Kaohsiung City

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Unknowingly passed the 29th year of my life, and I still don't know whether existence itself is worth it, but after all, I only stay in the stage of doubt, I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Under what circumstances do people choose to end their lives?

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Perhaps the answer to existence has been found, or it may have given up and continued to search. There is no conclusion yet. It is easy for the latter to find someone who can experience it, but sometimes I wonder if it is possible that the former is also the reason for wanting to end my life. I suddenly remembered when I was running one day last year, I don't know why, I suddenly made up my mind to see the end of my days with my eyes.

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"How's it going? Is there anything special going on?"

"Does living a good life count as progress?"

Yesterday, a friend sent a message of happy birthday, and by the way, we chatted about each other's recent times. In the eyes of everyone, I am a person who is very hard at chasing my dreams. It seems that I have been used to the feeling that I have been doing things all the time.

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"Does it count as chasing dramas, movies, and comics?"

I used to think it was a waste of time, but when I do it recently, I feel like it is just living. I remembered that I once regarded love as a kind of appendage of life, and I only dreamed of myself in my eyes. After K was together, I realized that this seems to be the meaning of life. .

When reading "Being and Nothingness" before, Sartre repeatedly dialecticalized the relationship between the other and himself in the book, trying to find evidence of his own existence. During the back and forth thinking, I found that whether it is oneself or the other, after all, it is through the awareness of each other that the existence of each other is verified. Perhaps this is also the meaning of love.

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At this moment, because I found love, I saw the meaning. Perhaps the helplessness of life a while ago was to some extent relied on empty dreams to verify their existence, only to find out that it was actually empty in the end.

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People probably still need to find themselves through people who can really be aware of themselves. That's why we need friends, families, and partners.

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"I feel like you've been messing around lately."

I went to see Su for a drink last week. He, who has recently started a successful career, gave me a bit of a mouthful. I didn't say anything at the moment, but I didn't seem to have anything to say. I just remembered that moment, I don't know why, and I felt very happy.