"Thinking like this, it doesn't make sense" - you are the master of your own life

One nineteen-year-old morning, I woke up from my bed, and an unprecedented thought rushed to my head: "Why am I still alive?" The days in my memory were not bad, how could I suddenly have such a thought?

Now that I think about it, it is not surprising that people have more or less the idea of committing suicide in their lives. No matter how optimistic and enterprising people are, they have doubted the value of their existence. At every stage of life, they may have questions about life. It's just that some people find answers, and some people take their doubts to the grave, no matter what.

Personality is destiny. How to go in life is often decided by personality. But does "personality" have to be innate?

Of course there is no such thing, but more often "personality" is the accumulation of what a person has seen, heard, learned, believed, and believed since childhood. Therefore, the nature may not be difficult to change. As long as you find the reasons for its formation and make corrections and improvements, your life may be able to change. .

This is also a little experience from reading the book "Thinking This Way, No Reason" many years ago.

All-pervasive fear dominates life

"Thinking this way, it doesn't make sense" is divided into three parts: [the ubiquitous behind-the-scenes driving force: fear], [the director of the play of life: believe in the system], and [return to a truly free and fruitful life: change] three parts, allowing readers to try to understand the hidden self .

In the first part, you will be surprised to find that many of the principles and motivations of life actually come from "fear", because they are hidden so deeply that you don't even realize it. Mary Hemingway's granddaughter in the book. The example of Hemingway is impressive.

Before she was born, the famous literary grandfather committed suicide. Her famous model sister also decided to end her own life after years of drug and alcohol addiction. Suffering from cancer, young Mary had to take care of others since she was a child. She was afraid that she would follow in the footsteps of her family in the future. She thought that to get rid of the unpleasant environment, she could only control herself, force herself to be strong and independent, and make herself outstanding. By pleasing everyone, you can avoid a lot of misery in life.

So since she was a teenager, she strictly controlled her eating habits, and she also had extreme demands on physical exercise. She overpressed herself and caused excessive mental stress. She was on the verge of collapse several times. As a result, everything she was afraid of happened to her.

Because all her life motivations and pursuits, and even the meaning of life, are manipulated by the hidden fear in her heart. Later, she realized this, and began to learn to relax herself and stop abusing herself. By learning yoga, she explored her mind and sought a balance in her life. Finally, she put on a "fear" mentality, and only then did she begin to taste true peace and freedom.

Looking back on the knots in your life that cannot be opened, how many are unsolved because of "fear": because you are afraid of failure, you dare not realize your dreams? Can't be happy because you're afraid something bad will happen? Parents who limit their children's growth because of "fear" causing too much anxiety? Because you are afraid that others will not know your good intentions and feelings, you constantly have to confirm to the other party, so that the other party is troubled and flees?

Think carefully, these negative emotions and biased behaviors are all because of "fear," but, this book tells you, let the fear stop there.

Get out of the "belief system" to find the truth of life

Do you believe that "nine times out of ten things go wrong in life"? Do you believe in "doing more and you will win"? Do you believe that "black and white is integrity"? Do you believe that "the only way to become a superior person is to eat the bitterness of the bitterness"? Do you believe that "sacrifice is a virtue"? Do you believe that "conflict is bad"? Do you believe in "parents that are all in the world"? Do you believe that "no divorce is to love children"?

These are the "wise sayings" that we have heard since childhood. Some of them have already become established social values without thinking. However, it is these "beliefs" that you and I have always identified as what the author wants to challenge and subvert.

People always say, "Nine times out of ten things don't go well in life," but if the proportion of unsatisfactory things in life is so high, what's the point of working hard? What's the point of being alive? In fact, the real purpose of these words is to ask people to take a step back and think about it and face setbacks and frustrations with a more open attitude.

It was originally a metaphorical exclamation, which hides the negative views of the people who spoke at the beginning. After being passed down from generation to generation, we inadvertently hear it into our hearts, and it vaguely becomes our own attitude towards life.

In fact, the journey of life has its ups and downs. We must at least give life a fair statement. Good luck and bad luck are half good, just like day and night. When we are going through the dark, we also know very well that half of the The time will be bright day.

Many people's calendars are always full. They work hard every day, and they rarely have time to stop. It seems that when they stop, they waste their lives.

With this kind of thinking, when parents see their child being idle, they will give him homework to do, and the child will naturally get tired of studying; when the boss sees a person who finishes get off work on time and gets off work, he thinks that he must be not serious enough or too much. I was idle, so I increased the workload of these people, and had to make everyone breathless, so that the company was cost-effective. Is it really a blessing for the company to turn around like this?

There are many people in this world who adhere to the traditional distinction between black and white, and it seems that they cannot be said to be wrong. However, is "black and white" necessarily correct? If it is only necessary to distinguish between right and wrong in everything, why are there so many disputes?

There is a huge gray area between the two ends of black and white, and we all have to walk through it to survive. If we cannot live flexibly, we will naturally encounter obstacles everywhere and things will not go smoothly. At this time, we cannot help but ask: "Do you have to be clear about black and white to live? "

"Change" brings us a free and fruitful life

The author's answer to this series of doubts is: change.

When we discover the behind-the-scenes driving force that controls ourselves invisibly, we should release ourselves from the cage of our thoughts, remove all the obstacles, let the inner happiness reappear, and return to a serene self. And in our daily life, remind ourselves to break away from these ruts that bind us, so that our life is full of new ideas.

This is also the original intention of the author, Professor Mu Jingnan, to write this book. Ms. Mu Jingnan, who holds a master's degree in education from San Jose State University, not only has the qualification of a Coach University professional life coach, but is also a member of many international professional coaching organizations and a Chinese life coach. Pioneer, long personal career planning and interpersonal training.

In 1999, he founded the International Da A Learning Institution, which offered lecture courses in China and the United States to train life coaches for the Chinese community; in 2005, he established the Da A Learning Foundation, dedicated to the promotion and implementation of Chinese social life education.

Such a multi-talented scholar can bring out the fleeting thoughts of many people one by one, make sense, and expand them into writing, helping everyone to realize their own thinking patterns, values, and feelings of fear. Following us for many years has deeply affected us, but we often forget their existence. The author does not want us to forget or ignore these feelings, so this is a book that reminds us that we are the masters of life.

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