Men, please get a circumcision like a boy!

Lele is my boyfriend, he is 27 years old this year. This is the first time he has stepped into the operating room since he was a child. Let us wish him success.

Before the circumcision surgery, Lele repeatedly made three rules with me:

“1. After the surgery, you cannot touch my private parts or use the excuse of conducting scientific observations.

2. You cannot imitate my walking posture during the recovery period

3. You can’t ask me to walk the dog until I’m fully recovered.”

I nodded my head vigorously and swore to the sky with my hands: "I promise not to cause trouble, and I will vigorously promote the Lele Hero slogan."

Just like that, half a year after the first mention of circumcision, Lele finally drove to the hospital with trepidation wearing loose sweatpants.

Boy, why do you want a circumcision?

Beijing is always stuck in traffic jams and I always have road rage.

On the way home, we got stuck on the Second Ring Road and couldn't move.

Lele suddenly said, "I saw on the Internet that XXX's dick is very dirty."

I said, "Yeah, XX's is dirty too."

Lele looked at me with eyes wide open and said, "You know all this?"

I said, "All men's dicks are dirty."

Lele said: "You are talking nonsense, I am very clean, I wash twice a day."

I immediately exploded, and I was like the exhaust gas on the Second Ring Road, crackling and outputting non-stop: "You are clean, where are you clean? Do you disinfect with alcohol every day? I see you cry out in pain when you touch a little medicine. Men in the world are all the same, shouting every day that they are clean here and there, but in the end it is women who suffer, women get urinary tract infections, women get gynecological diseases, and women suffer when there is a problem with the condom one day. You want to be clean, how did I get a urinary tract infection in the first place? Didn't you see how painful it was? You men are so timid that you can only talk with your mouth, and you keep saying that women are weak and will cry out when they get a little sick. If you really have the ability to be clean, go get a circumcision. What's the point of washing your dick? Can you wash it clean? Also, why didn't you get a circumcision when you were a child? Is it because you were afraid of the pain, or was it because your family didn't teach you well?"

Silence filled the entire room. Lele scratched his head awkwardly and didn't speak again.

The first thing he did after returning home was to go to the toilet as usual - but this time when he came out, he struck a Superman pose: "I declare that I am going to get a circumcision!"

After that day, we started to look for adult male circumcision guides. We searched all major platforms, including Xiaohongshu, Zhihu, and Bilibili. Most of them were short videos with only a few lines and looked very fake. There was no surgical process or precautions after the operation. But I saw many men who had not undergone circumcision surgery kindly advising: Don't go , this thing is not good for you.

Lele was nervous and scared.

Until one day, I saw a blogger post a ten-minute long guide on how to take his son to have a circumcision, and I sent it to Lele.

The video describes in detail what the foreskin is, how boys are usually circumcised, what preparations are needed for circumcision, and how to care for them after the operation - but the above is only for boys aged 7-10.

Lele is already 27 years old.

A mindless consultation and a stressful surgery

In early February, Lele found time to go to a top-level hospital for a consultation and was admitted to the Urology Department. He said that a big hospital is a guarantee! Only in this way can his little brother not get hurt.

The gray-haired doctor asked him why he came. Lele said embarrassedly that he was going to have a circumcision, and his voice was as soft as a mosquito. The doctor said loudly: Circumcision? This operation is too small, we won’t do it here, go to a second-class hospital to have a look.

The first consultation failed.

A week later, Lele found time to go to the Class II hospital near his home. This time he was in the right place, but the doctor told him to cancel his appointment and come back on Thursday, as only Dr. Zhang could perform this operation. Lele felt like he was being dragged down from the gallows, feeling lucky and nervous.

On Thursday, Lele returned to the hospital. The people lining up were mostly children and the elderly. Dr. Zhang, who performed the circumcision, asked him why he wanted to do the surgery now. Lele said, "My girlfriend asked me to come. When I was a child, my father always forgot to bring me here, so I was delayed."

Doctor Zhang asked him to go into the room and take off his pants. Lele was at a loss. After taking off his pants, the doctor said, "It looks good. You can do it. Let's do a blood test to see if there are any infectious diseases. If not, you can come next Thursday." Lele asked, "How long will the whole operation take? How long will it take to take a shower? How long will it take to recover? Will it hurt?"

No matter what questions were asked, Dr. Zhang was always playing with his phone. He only put down his phone when answering and said, "It's only half an hour. Nowadays, people wear a ring and cut it off by themselves. It's very quick, don't be nervous. This method is cleaner and the incision is beautiful, but it's more expensive. You can't take a shower until two weeks later, and then you can take it off. And it doesn't hurt. Young man, look at so many old men. If you didn't do it when you were young, it would be really inconvenient to do it when you are old and can't take a shower anymore. "

As he spoke, he started playing with his phone again.

After finishing the work in such a hasty manner, Lele returned home in a depressed mood: "The doctor didn't seem to care at all."

I consoled him: "Maybe you've seen it a lot."

In the afternoon, Lele asked his boss for four days off and told his colleagues that he was going to do something big. But after returning home, he kept whining that he was too nervous and started talking to himself while holding the puppy.

"Little dog, do you think the doctor will cut me? Little dog, I can't take you for a walk from now on. Little dog, will you stay with me when I'm in pain?"

…

On the morning of March 14, Lele spent twice as much time in the bathroom as usual. The doctor asked him to trim his private hair shorter before the surgery, and this was the last perfect bathing time in two weeks, so he had to cherish it. He even brushed his teeth twice.

When they arrived at the hospital, Dr. Zhang asked Lele to wait because he had other patients to see, and he would not be disturbed after the surgery. Lele sat obediently in the hospital corridor and began to wait for a long time, feeling very uncomfortable. During this time, he saw a middle-aged man limping out of the clinic, and his heart began to tingle.

An hour later, Lele entered the operating room, followed the doctor's instructions, stripped naked from the waist down, and laid down, crossing his hands in front of his chest and tucked under his armpits. Only Lele and Dr. Zhang were left in the small operating room, along with the metallic clanging of surgical instruments.

Doctor Zhang applied iodine to the surgical site, and then tore a hole in a surgical towel and put it on the surgical site. Then he turned around and fiddled with something, then put the surgical tray on Lele's legs, saying, "Don't move, we'll give you some anesthesia."

Lele screamed, he felt the needle pierced the base of his penis, but it wasn't actually there. After three injections, the doctor began to put a ring on his penis, pinching his skin with surgical forceps. Seeing that he was still screaming in pain, the doctor asked, "Do you still feel pain? Then I'll give you another injection." He was completely in the dark.

After a while, Lele felt no pain anymore, but because he was too nervous, his whole body was still tense.

Soon, the doctor said to Lele, "Okay, I'll bandage you and then come down and put on your pants. Your surgery is easy because you're thin. Other uncles have big bellies, thick legs, and small penises. It's hard to find or grab them, so it's very difficult."

Lele didn't dare to look down, as he always felt bloody. Before leaving, the doctor said, "Don't eat spicy food, don't drink alcohol, don't touch water. Come back twice a week to change the medicine starting next week. Take medicine when it hurts."

Lele responded repeatedly, then slowly moved out of the clinic with his teeth bared and his legs stretched out.

And the ascetic postoperative recovery

It was already evening when I saw Lele. His lips were pale, and he was lying on the sofa groaning. He stood up and walked with his legs apart, looking very much like Pan Changjiang who was criticized in "Raise Your Hands". He slowly moved to the door and opened the package he bought. It was all good stuff for post-surgery: a bathing artifact, iron-headed underwear, and a box of mineral water in the refrigerator for me not to drink...

Before going to bed, he wiped his body bit by bit with a towel, and then slowly moved back to the bed like a frog. He didn't dare to move at all, because if he moved a little, the quilt would hit his fragile wound hard. He even yelled at the puppy not to get close to him, and the puppy didn't know what was going on and looked at him aggrievedly.

None of the above is the most painful.

Every erotic dream, every morning, every moment of desire that followed, became Lele's ordeal. He was already on the road to spiritual practice.

At about four in the morning, Lele would wake up in a painful morning erection. He would carefully get up from the bed, then tiptoe to the refrigerator and gulp down a bottle of iced mineral water - this was the only way Dr. Zhang told him to solve his morning erection. Then he would slowly move to the sofa in the living room and wait for his little brother to be dejected. But this state is a kind of extreme pull. The more you want something to happen, the less likely it will happen.

"Do you understand the pain? Putting a ring there, it swells and hurts, just like a rubber band around the neck that feels like it's going to burst. Can you please stop laughing? It hurts so much... whoosh whoosh..."

After resting at home for four days, Lele had to go to work. Due to the special nature of his job, he needed to dress cleanly, fashionably and decently every day.

Before going to work, Lele slowly put on the bathing device, which was a translucent wrapping with a plastic ring stuck at the waist and a soft plastic film extending to the legs and tightly tied, like the trousers of a Western noble man in the 16th century. Then a piece of tape was pasted on the back to prevent water from leaking in from the spine. In short, as long as you put it on, the surgical site will never get wet.

After a long hour, Lele finally came out of the bathroom. This was the first time in three years that he went to work without waxing his hair. Lele said, "I really don't have the energy to dress up anymore."

He tried the iron-headed underwear, which made him even more miserable. The so-called iron-headed underwear is to change the front part of the underwear into a cardboard-like cover. It seems to be able to prevent external gravity attacks, but in fact, the inside is repeatedly hurting the little brother because the "iron head" is too hard and always produces friction.

For the first time, Lele wore a pair of soft pants instead of jeans. "I can't stand such torture." After saying that, he crossed his legs and went out to work.

During the first dressing change, Lele met a fat nurse. The nurse asked Lele to quickly take off his pants and lie on the bed. Because of the trauma left by the last operation, Lele began to get nervous. The fat nurse took out the surgical gel, which was in the shape of a needle tube. Lele jumped up and asked, "Do you need another anesthetic?" "No, lie down quickly. This is a liquid Band-Aid. Apply it on the wound." Then she quickly tore off the tape, "Okay, okay, don't scream, it's done."

Every time the dressing was changed, Lele would complain why the nurses were always so rude.

During the penultimate dressing change, Lele met a thin nurse. Before changing the dressing, the thin nurse suddenly said, "It hurts anyway, I'll change it quickly so it won't hurt as much." Lele suddenly understood something, felt warm, and then he howled, leaving only the echo of his howl in the room.

The fifth dressing change was two weeks after the operation. The nurse removed the surgical ring and the needle that held the ring. While walking on the road, Lele felt that his little brother was warm. He went to the toilet and saw that a lot of blood was oozing out.

Lele removed the gauze for the last time by himself. He found that it was not painful to tear the gauze slowly, and he was deceived by the nurse.

From then on, Lele would never pee while standing again.

A month after the surgery, Lele approached me mysteriously and said, "I won't pee standing up in public toilets anymore. Otherwise, it will be all over the place. There will be urine on my pants, hands, and even the toilet next door. I need a toilet to pee sitting down wherever I go. Male morality doesn't stop at home ."

He said proudly, "I finally understand why the doctor said the incision was beautiful. It really is beautiful. If it weren't so inappropriate, I would really like to show you what a beautiful incision is."

You are such a hero, Lele!

— The End —

— Author: Suji —

— Editor: Zhao Si —

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