The house leaks when it rains overnight | The rental place that keeps dripping

The constant dripping of water triggers a cascade of anxiety and thoughts in me

Yes, as in the photo, water is dripping from the ceiling above my bed. This is a nearly 40-year-old apartment. The landlord has divided it into three suites for rent without changing the original beams and pillars. My apartment is about 7-8 pings and there is no elevator. This is a very old house in Taichung. When I rented it, the rent was not cheap. After all, it was near the hospital and in the school district, so it was not easy to park even the locomotive space.

When I first saw it, in addition to being anxious to move, I saw that it has a good sense of space. It is square, the bathroom also has external windows, the small balcony can wash and dry clothes by itself, and there is a food street outside the alley. The noise of the road, the neighbors on the opposite side play the piano every day, and they are very skilled. If you are bored and look out the window, the owner of the apartment on the opposite floor will play with flowers and grass. To be honest, it is very pleasing to the eye.

In the past three years, the space furnishings have been continuously evolving, and this year, I feel more and more comfortable. It's starting to drip! Two or three months ago, it was just a one-off incident. This week has become my dream, dripping water every day, more and more drips, the cracks are getting longer and longer, the edge of the bed is soaked, and I keep covering it with a bath towel.

Although I originally intended to change residences, I wanted to slowly get out of the way of life when I was working in the hospital. After all, sometimes a change in thinking requires a change in behavior, and a new model and new form will gradually emerge. This is me blind theory. But this kind of subconscious hinting has always worked for me.

I really started visiting the rental discussion forum or 591 a month ago, and found that the rent is now more expensive under the same conditions! What the fuck? I used to only use 1/4 of the salary and now it is 1/3 of the salary.

Should I face reality?

I thought that in the days when I was lost and looking for a direction, as long as I reduced my desires, I could give myself more time to think, but now I really encountered a problem. Do I want freedom or keep my capital? Freedom will make my life harder, and even continue to burn through my little savings, and if I really want to try something, I won't have the money to do it. If you have the capital, you need to move home and save the money on the things you want to learn or throw it into the stock, but my experience in living at home is not very good in the past, I am afraid that I will be depressed and work with my mother Emotions cannot be comforted and relieved by living in a different place.

After two days of anxiety, although I found a new house, the rent will be more expensive than it is now, but if you add a rental car space, the total price is actually the same as it is now, except that you have to climb the stairs, the floor is higher but the sense of space is similar. I still haven't made up my mind, so I didn't place an order.

A former colleague told me to calm down and solve problems one problem at a time. There will always be a way out.

Thinking about many things, I did think about the worst case when I left the company, and even the points that are struggling now have emerged. Because of this, I did some escapist behaviors to delay the occurrence of things, but escaping was just another price . I kept reminding myself these days that I expect others to help, and finally I have to face it all myself. The big deal was really burning through the only resources I had.

I really don't know what will happen if I keep going? At first I thought it was worth taking the risk, I had to get used to this unstable feeling, I had to keep searching, I had to find a way to try more things, I had to get rid of the habit of doing my own thing when I was working in the hospital, I have to figure out how to be valuable, I have to find problems I can solve, and more importantly I have to find constant motivation like writing and practicing English (yes, when I list things I like , these two things are the least suspenseful, and can even set goals and rewards).

But how?

In the first stage, I want to create a business that I can be independent, preferably something that will consume all my time and something that I can devote myself to. In the second stage, I hope that more people will benefit from what I do, and I can talk to more people. People communicate with each other to make progress. In the third stage, I want the income to break through the ceiling of the medical examiner at least three times.

How to reach such a state?