I've decided not to give up anymore!

In 2018, I read Eiko Yamashita's book "Dansheli" and began to put it into my daily life. For example, when shopping, I gave up the past habits of "packing colors" and "hoarding goods", and carefully selected my favorite lipstick color. Size, versatile and durable clothing styles, or when you go to the supermarket, try to restrain the urge to buy one get one free.

It seems like a beautiful minimalist living practice, but after maintaining it for over a year, I still decided to remove it from the list.

Let's start with my weight loss failure

As for why I made this choice, I can start with my weight loss failure.

During the period when I started to implement the separation, I also started my weight loss road. At that time, when I came home from school every day, I stipulated that I would cook Zheng Duoyan for an hour. I only ate 1~2 meals a day, and one of the meals was a sugar-free meal. With oatmeal, strictly speaking, only one meal can eat a small amount of meat and absorb the minimum nutrients.

This kind of day went very smoothly at first. In the first week, I lost a full kilogram of weight, and my waist was noticeably thinner. I thought: Ah, if I lose one kilogram every week, I can lose my weight in two months. Ideal weight! In this way, the second and third weeks continued.

In the fourth week, when I met a friend's birthday, I went to a barbecue dinner with both anticipation and fear. In order to dedicate all the heat of the day to this barbecue, I didn't eat anything all day, I could only go crazy. Filling up my hunger with water, I waited for the evening party to arrive. I don’t know how I spent that day, but I just felt that the time was very long.

As soon as I entered the barbecue restaurant, I was like crazy. I shoved pork pork and beef pork, which I would not normally eat because of the heat, into my mouth. I couldn't eat enough. Bottomless pit, after eating the meat on the table, and even the bread, drinks and desserts of the side meal, I still can't feel fullness, only a very strong sense of guilt.

The days that followed were endless cycles of self-destruction, starving, gluttony, and starvation. As a result, my body sensed the morbidity before me, and sent out a serious warning—physiological problems such as menopause, acne breakouts, and hair loss began to come to me. Not only that, but my mental state was very bad. I was often depressed and unhappy. Sometimes even irritable to the point of collapse and crying.

Life is getting out of order

In those days of rebellion, I realized that wanton suppression of desires would have a terrifying knock-on effect. When shopping, I often waste more time because of "Is this thing necessary?", and finally return the items in the shopping basket to their original places one by one and leave empty-handed; sometimes on the contrary, in order to fill the emptiness in my heart, I am Once I ordered various daily necessities and clothes on the Internet, I always felt that having these would bring me more happiness. However, after using the items for less than half a year, they no longer attracted me, and then they were discarded in the name of breaking up.

This contrast brought great trouble to life, until I stopped all of it and re-examined the meaning of separation.

Do I really understand breaking up?

"Cut, cut off the things you don't need. Give up, give up the unnecessary waste. Leave, get rid of the attachment to the things. Now let go of what you don't need for yourself." This is Yamashita Eiko's most basic comment on cutting off , but most people don't actually understand its meaning, including me, they just take these three words as spiritual slogans and force them into their daily life.

For example, youtuber often shoots the "Closet Breakaway" series, which divides the mountains of clothes at home into two categories, one is discarded, and the other is left. At the end of the video, a before and after comparison picture is usually placed to indicate the successful completion of the cut. Abandoning the mission, but after a month, a season or half a year, the sequel is updated. If you look closely, you will find that their clothes have not been reduced, but they have changed a batch of new ones, which has been tried and tested.

Misleading such as this, many people see breaking up as a simple and fun leisure activity,

Get out of the trap you set yourself

I believe that everything we face in life has its own meaning and value. All the things that have happened over the past year are not all bad. Learning to find an outlet from negative emotions and face up to one's own shortcomings can actually be released in the process. It's like reading a book a few months ago to recognize the word "HYGGE", which made me put a new note on "enjoying life". Instead of tightening the clockwork all the time, I just focus on quick success. Happiness should be entered through a sense of ritual. Flow states focus on the present moment. (Extended reading: What is Hygge? A necessary happiness vocabulary in life )

So I decided to give up dieting and lose weight, and enjoy the delicious food without any guilt; at the same time, I also wanted to say goodbye to the overkill, let go of the whip that drives myself forward too much, and live comfortably in a comfortable but not extravagant range. spend every day.

Pictures: 1 and 3 were taken on the north coast of Keelung, the film was taken at the last rental house with 100 / 2 for business use, and fujicolor400 was used.