happy epiphany

On the day of Epiphany he confessed to me.

He ruined my Epiphany.

I am not a Christian, but I will celebrate Epiphany. Twelfth night - very memorable, for me it is a holiday suitable for a person.

But he broke in. He said, "I like you, will you stay with me?"

I categorically refused. "You don't understand," I said.

He looked at me suspiciously. "I'm very difficult to get along with," I explained. "It can be painful to be with me."

"Don't talk about yourself like that."

I sighed, "You don't want to hear the details."

"Of course I do! I-I've liked you for a long time, how could I give up just because you said you were difficult to get along with!"

He continued to pester me for nearly half an hour, and I had to say, "I made my offer, if you can't accept it, give up."

He nodded eagerly.

I ended up saying three things:

1. Never touch my things without permission.

2. No physical contact with me.

3. You must not change the itinerary when you go out with me (except for force majeure).

"Any more?" he asked.

I tilted my head and thought, "That's it."

"That's alright," he said assuredly, "and it's not unusual for girls to insist on small details."

That's because you don't know how strict I am with those three items, I think.

So we are together. I asked him not to tell his friends and classmates yet.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because it would be embarrassing to break up then."

I'm pretty sure we'll break up, it's just a matter of how long.

Everything was typical in the beginning. We go out on a date once a week, usually to go to the movies, or to go to dinner. He never broke the rules. After all, I always book movie tickets and restaurants first, and there is nothing to change the schedule.

A few months later, he said that he wanted to live together, and I agreed. Anyway, we will break up sooner after we live together.

Sure enough, his first crossing came quickly - one day I found him adjusting my laundry. I stood on the balcony and thought for a long time, wondering if I should go out and question him.

No, no, that's not elegant, I'm going to do it in a quiet way, my own way.

But did he really do it? I remember very clearly that the front of the jeans was not an A-line skirt, but a plaid shirt, I know. It could only be him who moved, it couldn't be someone else, it must be him.

Absolutely can't just forget it, this is the rule I set myself, and I can't make him feel that it doesn't matter if he doesn't follow it.

I still have to do something, but face is still to be taken care of.

I ended up stuffing all the clothes back into the washing machine and washing them again.

The same thing happened a few times later, I rewashed all my clothes each time, but he didn't seem to notice.

Once I saw him move my clothes at will, my doubts melted away, and I didn't hesitate to stuff it back, more firmly than ever.

The "no change of itinerary" rule was also broken shortly after.

One day we went out to eat as usual. We had already decided on an Italian restaurant before we set off. Because it was near our house, there was no reservation.

When he came to the door, he said, "I suddenly want to eat wonton noodles, shall we go eat?"

"Isn't it decided?" I said in surprise.

"But now I want to eat something else..."

I looked at the man in front of me, and he seemed to have completely forgotten the conditions he promised.

At the time, I also suggested to him that since they were going to be together, whether to write down the three rules with a mobile phone memo. He said no, "I'll remember what you said."

So I pretended to be calm and followed.

When I got to the noodle shop, I really couldn't take it anymore, I was screaming in my head what the hell is this, what the hell is this, what the hell is this-

I told him I was going to the toilet and ran upstairs for an excuse.

When he came back, he asked me where the toilet was, and I said go upstairs and turn left. As soon as he left my sight, I immediately grabbed my bag and walked out. As soon as I walked out of the store, I ran wild, not knowing where I was going, I just ran aimlessly along the road.

I turned into an alley and then another turn, and as time went on I became more and more afraid that he would find me.

I hopped on a bus and rode all the way to the terminal, a place I didn't know at all. I'm sitting on a bench thinking, and the trouble with this kind of thing is that it's hard to wrap up.

I ended up staying at a friend's house for one night. Fortunately, she didn't know him, and I didn't tell her the exact reason.

My phone kept ringing that night and his name was on the screen. I turn it off with trembling hands every time. But when I stopped being afraid, I started expecting his apology like a normal girl, expecting him to beg me back.

The next morning he called again. I picked up the phone, but he didn't seem to know anything, just kept asking me why I suddenly disappeared. I had to make up a reason, saying that some of my family had to go back to deal with it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you first yesterday. He asked what it was and I said it was personal and I didn't want to discuss it now.

Of the three provisions, only the second is fully implemented. He had hinted that he wanted it, but I refused every time.

So we don't have sex, not at all.

I went back to where we lived and my daily life was the same as before. He has neither an apology nor a cold war. It can really be said that it has been exactly the same for a few months.

A few weeks before my birthday, he said he was going to take me on a trip, "Neither of us have been out together," he said.

Our destination is Malaysia, because the prices there are relatively low, and now we can go abroad with the money to go to Hualien.

He said that he would book hotels and air tickets, so I only arranged the itinerary after landing. Although it was very short, only four days, I felt that the itinerary was very fulfilling.

On the day of departure, it was the airport transfer he booked, and everything was perfect, even early.

He took the initiative to take care of everything at the airport, I just had to wait and he helped me with all my luggage. I followed behind him, and for the first time I really felt that it was not bad to fall in love.

At that time, I believed that the trip would be very pleasant, although Malaysia is not my dream city, but it was ok.

It wasn't until I actually got on the plane that I realized something was wrong.

Why is the destination writing Sapporo?

I tug at his sleeve nervously. "Did we get on the wrong plane? It's destined for Sapporo! Why did they let us in when they checked the boarding pass?"

"We didn't get on the wrong plane."

"Look!" I turned on the screen in front of my seat. "It really says Sapporo! Or did they forget to change the screen? It was actually from the last flight—"

When I turned my head, his phone camera was facing me.

"Happy birthday!" he said, "this is a surprise for you! Didn't you say you want to go to Hokkaido?"

"What?" I was almost speechless, "but...why?"

"I'll remember everything you transcribe," he said proudly.

I stared at him in disbelief. That was just something I said casually while watching a Japanese show.

The flight attendant came over and gave out the earphones, I put them on numbly, and chose a romantic movie to watch, but my mind was in a mess, and I had no idea what I was watching.

How could I be so stupid! I don't even know where to fly! What about the boarding pass? By the way, the boarding pass has always been with him, I thought he was being considerate of me.

I really don't know the airport code either. I haven't even checked the flight.

I was so shocked and ashamed that I couldn't help crying.

He handed me a tissue.

Well, at least there's a movie to cover, he probably thinks I'm too touched because he's still smiling.

"Are you all right?" he said.

"It's fine," I said, "everything is fine."

The man and woman on the screen are kissing.

Hokkaido is cold, very cold. I watched him pull out his own heavy coat from his bag, while I was only wearing a light shirt and jeans.

"Then what should I do? I only brought summer clothes."

"You can just wear mine!" He took off his jacket and draped it over me.

What was he thinking about? Does he think he's handsome? No, he could only wear other people's clothes that didn't fit his size for seven days. He actually thought it was a surprise.

"What about my other clothes?" I asked patiently.

"Don't worry, I have prepared for you."

help me. It's called help me.

As soon as I arrived at the hotel, I opened the suitcase and found that the "my clothes" he was referring to were just some of his smaller sweaters and the nylon fiber pants my family gave me last time. I hate nylon. The coat is only his second down jacket.

I've had enough. I'm going to run away.

I tried to book a flight for tomorrow while he was taking a shower. There are no air tickets. But I couldn't stay for a day, so I ordered the day after tomorrow.

I do my best to keep things safe without him finding out. He excitedly reported tomorrow's itinerary before going to bed, and I had no guilt at all.

I waited another hour after he fell asleep, then crept up, changed into my yesterday's clothes, and quietly carried the suitcase outside.

This time is different, I have the time advantage.

I went to a clothing store to buy a coat first. It's almost closing time, but I didn't want to pick one. I took one thick enough and left.

I then took the bus to the cheap hotel I booked a few hours ago. Fortunately, I used the hotel Internet to check the route, because I have no Internet at all - my new Malaysia Thailand Vietnam roaming plan is like a joke.

After checking in, it was past twelve o'clock. I was so tired that I didn't have the strength to be afraid. As soon as I lay down, I fell asleep immediately.

I woke up very early, and when I arrived early, my phone was still lying on the table, no calls or messages. He probably hasn't woken up yet.

It's only after five o'clock anyway, and I think I can take a chance and go to the convenience store for breakfast. Just in case, I also bought lunch and dinner - the cheapest as I didn't have much JPY on me, just a bit of what he gave me yesterday.

Not long after I got back to my room, my phone started ringing. I ignored it.

At about noon, a figure resembling him appeared on the opposite sidewalk. No way, he can't know where I am, I thought. But I quickly closed the curtains.

It'll be alright, lock the door, watch TV, the day goes by quickly.

The next day I got up before dawn and was ready to go to the airport. I didn't have the money to take a taxi, so I had to take public transport. I used the rest of my money to buy tickets and was almost broke.

When I got to the airport, I started to worry about whether he would be here and recognize me. No, I've got a new coat and a new hairstyle, so he won't be so easy to spot.

I got on the plane with trepidation, but luckily everything went smoothly afterwards. I have never been so grateful for a journey to end.

I thought that if that happened, we would definitely break up, but he acted like nothing happened and lived the life before he went to Hokkaido.

It's not that I didn't mention breaking up, but when I was about to get to the point, he immediately changed the subject or pretended not to hear.

It doesn't seem like he's going to follow the rules anymore. It's more and more common to take me out and then suddenly change plans. Every time I tried my best to escape.

I thought I was the one who made the rules, but I was like a fragile and helpless little animal.

I don't know if he tortured me on purpose - he never explained or apologized - but 80% of the time he was.

Anyway, I'm running away again. I found a suite.

When I was packing, I pulled out the boarding pass that I flew back from Hokkaido that day.

After a closer look, I found out, ah, that day is the Epiphany. I didn't find anything.