Nothing can make me jump

I sometimes feel that the Bible is like a woman's friend. If you look carefully, you can always find a bowl of chicken soup from God in the Bible. Even a homeless person like me can find a special scripture (Psalm 42-43: Exile The Prayer of the Stranger). My best friend in the UK was infected with Omicorn this past Christmas. She survived the pain and suffering of the first few days very calmly. When I was so worried, she not only excerpted a large passage of scriptures to reassure me, but also emphasized that God’s grace must be guaranteed. Will make her family survive the virus attack. If it were me, I would have been yelling and screaming in the morning, and it is impossible to keep calm. Every time I come to these times, I always envy my friends of faith for their spiritual support, as if the hard things are not worth mentioning before God, but when they follow the pole and want the stubborn me to take a step forward , I would still jump back a hundred paces. Relying on the love of my friends for me, in the early years, I often "provocatively" provoked that there is no God in the world. Later, I began to earnestly understand and respect their beliefs. I thought that God exists, and my "provocation" turned into God if there is a God. They are tyrants and dictators. They always say to me with tolerance, "You can't equate humans with gods, gods are not humans, and you can't judge gods' behavior by human standards..." and so on. In recent years, I have put these issues into perspective. Let it go completely, no one can convince anyone anyway, everyone is safe!

Coincidentally, I read Liu Qing last Saturday | Spiritual homelessness is the biggest spiritual crisis of modern people .

 . . . you cannot rely solely on logic and reasoning to prove a belief to be true, to confirm its reliability. Therefore, you have to bravely "jump" to be able to cross this gap. It's all an adventure. Because we can't know whether the result of this leap is reaching the other side of salvation or falling into the abyss of emptiness. We can't even calculate the probability of this risk. Faith requires great courage.

I think this paragraph sums up well why I can't believe it. I have so many opportunities to come into contact with Christianity, and so many friends to explain my doubts. I just didn't go in. The main reason is that I can't muster the courage to jump in for things that are irrational. On the journey I've learned with my heart, some of the selling points that want to lure me into teaching have also discouraged me.

When the children were in kindergarten, several mothers would have breakfast together after sending their children to school. One of them was Amy's mother, who is a church staff member. She eagerly wanted to persuade other mothers present to embrace God. But she was a very unqualified "promoter" to me. Her selling point is death, and she paints a picture of the wonderful world you'll see when you die, if you believe in God's word. This selling point, I guess, may have been extracted by the church from the fear that the Chinese would go to hell after death and suffer. But I am a person who is not afraid of death. I feel that I don’t have enough time to think about how to live my life right now, and I don’t have the time to worry about things after death. Let’s talk about it when death is imminent. After one of the mothers decided to accept the faith, a close relative at home just passed away. Amy's mother repeatedly reminded her not to bow or have any form of kneeling during the farewell ceremony of the relatives, otherwise it would be disrespectful to God. In the end Almost didn't ask the mother to take a selfie at the farewell ceremony to prove that she didn't bow. That mother told me privately that she simply wanted to say goodbye to her relatives, and that the rest of her family were not Christians. If everyone bowed, it would seem unfilial for her not to be together, but if she bowed, it would offend God and make her feel Quite sad. The first commandment in the Ten Commandments of Moses does mention that "there shall be no other gods before me", God is the only true God, and it is not allowed to worship other "false gods" except God, but if mortals are only to say goodbye, Can't bow and say goodbye if you don't treat your relatives as gods at all? God does not teach us to "honor your father and mother and love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 19:19). I was not familiar with Amy's mother, and I didn't argue with her at the time. I only know that in the end, my friend chose to bow down to her relatives through filial piety. She is still a devout Christian.

An interesting selling point in Hong Kong's religious affairs is education. Since most primary schools in Hong Kong have religious backgrounds, if parents choose to participate in the allocation of public schools, in the first round of self-allocation stage, parents and schools can get extra points if they have the same religious beliefs, and this extra point is often The key to whether a child can get into the school of his choice. I once had a friend who actively participated in church activities before entering kindergarten in order to enroll in a famous public elementary school with a Christian background, and completed the baptism before applying for elementary school. As for how devout she is, the busy God probably has no time to understand, at least at that time I read the Bible more seriously than she did. There is a saying that I have been holding back and dare not tell my friends: "Aren't you afraid that God will remember it one day and punish you with the hand of God?" How pure and true can faith with purpose be? My friend's son finally got his wish to enroll in a famous elementary school. In order to catch up with the intense coursework of the famous school, the mother and son had a hard time. The relationship was on the verge of collapse for a time, and the constant prayers to God failed to relieve her depression and pain.

Recently, seeing a friend incarnate as a child with Bible problems, it seems that I saw the "provocative" self that was going around back then. It also reminded me of some old events related to religion that I have experienced. I just need to record my relationship with God. Bar!