She once poked the president's arm with her finger and asked for a photo; asked a female politician who wrote a poem if she had ever lied, which made her jump in anger; she once climbed a wall and tree, and no place with a closed door could stop her; the adventurous infiltration in her youth In all aspects of life, she was never reckless; she had a marriage that was envied by outsiders. After she had three children after marriage, she realized that she was a lesbian and resolutely divorced. She also chose to leave the faith she had believed in since she was a child because of love. Christian doctrine; she discovered her mother's betrayal by chance, which triggered the pain accumulated in her childhood. She never chose to listen to herself and chose her own feelings; the only definition given to her by her friends was "having courage". Words⋯⋯

They are women from the East and the West who grew up in more or less similar social structures and were required to be the obedient women, wives, and mothers that society needs... There are many of them who are courageous and capable. Courageous, but courage and courage are arranged and integrated in the face of tests one after another. In the end, there is one courage that can make her feel that this is really the most amazing of all "courage and courage".

This one, for me, was making the choice to become a mother. This choice was not made overnight, but after consideration and weighing, and the reaffirmation of courage in the process of becoming a mother. When asked how I made this decision, my answer was, "It is difficult to make this decision, because you are about to feel happy about the arrival of a new life, and at the same time, you also feel that the next eighteen years or even your whole life will be difficult." It is a life-changing decision to help this child grow up, and accepting such a heavy responsibility is not easy, it requires the greatest courage."

Yes, it’s still this book, it’s Glenn Doyle. Her stories and feelings are written for women who choose to become mothers. Likewise, she also makes me feel that this choice is the greatest thing I can have and give. Courage .

The word "mother" is not the halo given by society and the hidden code words that have been implicit for many years - "sacrifice, dedication, retreat, unconditional love..." In Glennon's view, being a mother is the most important thing The purpose is not to let the children see how their mother sacrificed her own happiness for them, how she succumbed to an unhappy and loveless marriage for them, and how she gave up her life for them; on the contrary, as a mother, The most important thing is to let children know what the courage to face life is. This courage includes the courage to face difficult choices, the courage to let go and accept, and the courage not to give up the pursuit of love and one's own life.

Because we are too familiar with mothers telling us how their lives ended abruptly after we were born; because we are too familiar with mothers trying to maintain the so-called "complete family" from the outside. ” and regressed to the state of “living”, giving up all possible opportunities and fun, and forcing everything on the children; because, what we are too familiar with is that mothers can later use those “choices” and “ "Sacrifice" makes the children feel guilty and guilty, and then complete their unfinished and abandoned dreams... No! None of this is courage or taking responsibility. Such behavior will not teach children what "decision", "commitment" and "courage" are...

As Glennon Doyle said in the book, every generation of women who are about to become mothers will get the memo of their time. However, in our time, the memo has become simply: " Your life is over, and "Your new existence is about ensuring that her life never begins. Godspeed." The reason why Glennon wrote this is because the most common thing that too many women hear when they are about to give birth is that your life will be over after you have a child. He will eventually parasitize himself on the child. How important is it for a child to be born with the responsibility of two people? Naturally, his life cannot truly begin, because the mother has not shown her child what it means to truly have the courage to live your own life, have the courage to make a decision, and have the courage to take on the responsibilities that come with your decision. .

Glennon Doyle’s memo for women who are about to become mothers is:

 Here is your baby. 
Love her at home, at the polls, in the streets. 
Let everything happen to her.
Be near.

Yes, the choice of becoming a mother is like this, wavering between the anticipation and the hesitation of being pregnant in ten months. It is courage and the courage accumulated in my life that make me believe that the life I will change next will definitely be better and better.

Glennon asked: "What if parenting became less about telling your children who they should be and more about asking them again and again forever who they already are?"

As parents, we are not God. Even if you and I create a new life, as Glennon said-

 Un-God yourself. 
Gasp in awe and applaud with gusto.

Because being a God does not require courage, and facing this world and this life, the greatest courage of a mortal is the real superpower you have.

Thank you for reading this far. If you and your friends also love writing and creation, please share this call for papers for the first issue with interested people, and follow @ Zi Fu Magazine. We look forward to receiving your submissions. This issue's call for submissions takes "Word Performance Art" as the theme and "Restricted Writing" as the form, showing the story of "losing voice"——

Launch of "Zi Fu" magazine: Origin of concept and description of the first issue's call for essays

Chinese Characters Unchained｜Manifesto, the first issue of "Zi Fu" magazine