Instead of restricting behavior to achieve "self-discipline", think about what you want?

Regarding "self-discipline", many people have a great misunderstanding and believe that it can only be achieved through a certain kind of "compulsion". But in fact, all "compulsive" behaviors will only make people more resistant and more reluctant to get up and act!

In my mother's eyes, I should be a person who lacks self-discipline (probably in the eyes of many people who only see one side of me.) Older, older people especially like to use their own behavior patterns to Look at other people's living habits, and then ask and criticize people who are different from you or want to reach out to intervene. Over time, it will become a mode of restricting other people's behavior, so that people who are restricted often don't understand "why are they not self-disciplined?" Or is it actually just "not conforming to other people's living standards." Gradually, they will form a "resistance" to the life style required by others, and lose their own requirements and pursuits.

"Self-discipline" is now a fake issue for me, mostly used to elevate a person's behavior to a certain level of "I'm not good enough", or used to accuse others of "not good enough". The behavior of people who are in line with self-discipline: "You are too undisciplined, so..." What's more, as long as you can tell a set of "self-discipline" principles and implement it, all your dreams will come true.

In fact, true "self-discipline" has nothing to do with "self-limitation" at all. It is more likely that you need to think in reverse:

Why do we have to limit the way of life we choose, instead of finding the life we like and don't resist, and can achieve the goals we want and the life we pursue?

If you think in this direction, you come back to the individual: what do you hope, what do you want, what do you expect...in which direction do you go? What kind of person do you want to be? What kind of life do you want to live? Then I have to think "what should I do" to achieve what I want?

Instead of expounding on "self-discipline" now: "You become what you are because you are very self-disciplined!" You need to think in turn "Because you want to be/complete OOXX, you have to do ZZYY".

For example, develop good exercise habits, not because everyone preaches "this is important" so you do it. All the things that are "important to others" are not important to anyone who has not developed the habit of exercising. But if you want to have a healthy body, don't go to the doctor often, don't feel body pain often, or one of your goals is to lose weight and make your body look good, then you need to "do you want to" Make a little effort and change about the things you want to do, and make it a habit. Over time, you will get up and do it without anyone asking or forcing yourself.

For example, many people will also have extreme resistance to work, so you have to think about whether you are resisting "the work itself" or "the people you meet at work" or your current concern about "going to work" , is there any reason why you don't want to get up and do it? Are you tired and don't want to do it? (Then you should have a good rest first!) Is it because you want to face annoying people and don't want to go to work? (Then you should do your own job first, and then deal with those annoying people. Why do you make yourself the kind of person you hate for procrastinating because of others?)  …

To describe "self-discipline" is actually not a great or difficult thing to achieve, it is just: when you should do something, don't do it in a hurry, eat when you should eat well, and go to bed. When it’s time to go to bed, when it’s time to work, work when it’s time to study, read when it’s time to study… and so on, instead of putting all other people’s standards on yourself (or letting others just put their own standards on you) and asking yourself to follow others The same way of life, to achieve what others ask you but you do not pursue at all.

Most of the people who have "rules" and "self-discipline" do not come from "self-limitation", but are more likely to have "self-pursuit of what you want to achieve in your heart", and make choices in actions and make "self-restriction". Require".

Before that, shouldn't people think "I should be more disciplined"? But first think about "what do I want"? When you really think about what "I want" is, and then do your best to achieve it, without any restrictions at all, you will generate a regular rhythm and move in the direction you want.

But there are times when people "really don't want anything"! Don't do it then! Follow the voice of the heart: When you want to do anything, you don't need any rules or restrictions, and you will do everything you can to get it done; when you don't want to do anything, anyone who pushes you will be resisted.

I hardly seem to have resisted my work, and I often hand over the client's belongings before the deadline, and often leave a little time for the client. This is not really "self-discipline", just want to finish it quickly, play, and do other things that you want to do. Because of this, when I'm not working, I'm very serious about not working (and when I'm lazy, I should be lazy wholeheartedly), so I don't want to play half-heartedly and think that the work is not finished!

Self-discipline is really just doing what you want to do with your whole heart! If you are not self-disciplined, you may just have a less strong desire to achieve something.

Picture: 20200322 Hama star walking and jumping, Canon EOSM50