BL Narrative Novel Serial ｜ The year after breaking up with you (Chapter 16)

Day 106 | April 12, 2021 | Protecting yourself is more important

After receiving Xiao Sheng's message yesterday morning, I haven't heard from him all day long. I am afraid that people are busy, and I am not messaging them.

Today, after many hesitations, I finally made up my mind to send a message to Xiaosheng. "Good morning, is today still a busy day?". After half an hour, I finally got his reply: "Yeah, I'm going to the studio now. I still need to rush to make models, and I need to make models this week." "Come on." I simply replied with an old-fashioned encouragement if. He replied, "Yes, thank you." We never heard from again after that.

After so many years of experience, I probably know how Xiaosheng feels to me as a friend, or even just an ordinary friend who is more chatty.

I told myself to take it slow, we still need more time to get to know each other. You don't need to give your sincerity too quickly. It's not that I don't like it, it's just that I'm a little scared, and I'm not as eager for love as before.

As you get older, you realize that protecting yourself is more important. I don't want to get hurt again.

Day 107 | April 13, 2021 | I can see clearly, so I dare not fall in love

When I was chatting with Zhengdong today, I asked him: Why does he still not want to find a stable partner? He said that because he lived so realistically, he could see everything clearly. So don't dare to fall in love. He said that love in gay circles has a shorter shelf life than heterosexual love. Some people say that gay love lasts for more than 3 months even if it is long. This is ridiculous!

He said: "Everyone is a man, and they are all animals who can't manage their lower bodies. We are easily driven by desires and derailed easily. So why fall in love? When you need it, you can find overnight love everywhere on the app. The third or even the fourth.”

Because there are many men who have boyfriends, they also go to the app to make an appointment.

"I see it too clearly. There is too little true love in this circle, so I dare not fall in love. After investing, the result is to make myself sad."

Although I do not deny that this situation exists, and it is the majority ratio, there are also true loves in the gay circle, and some people are pure and self-love. I have always believed.

Day 108 | April 14, 2021 | Dates Again?

Xiaosheng sent a message today saying that the model is 50% complete and hopes to be finished this week. I said to be happy for him. Hope all goes well. He said that it is necessary to hurry up and finish it this week, because the number of confirmed cases of the coronavirus is increasing, and it will be difficult for the MCO to close the city again, because they have to deliver goods next week.

I told him that although it seems that the number of confirmed cases has been rising, there is no sign of mco again, at least for the next two weeks. According to the reporter's visit, the Sarawak government has indeed not considered to mco again. He will surely deliver on time.

Xiaosheng said that if it can be successfully completed and there is no mco, let’s make an appointment to meet for a coffee next week! Of course I can answer it!

I am now looking forward to my appointment next week! I hope God bless Xiaosheng to successfully complete the model work, and also hope that the reporter will not take the wrong wind!

Day 109 | April 15, 2021 | Keep Your Mouth Out

I read an interesting sentence in a book today: "The strength of your self-discipline determines the height of your success."

After reading this sentence, I found that maybe my self-discipline is not high enough, resulting in the goal of losing weight has not been successful. I started to lose weight in August last year. Although I lost a lot of weight, I was five or six kilograms away from my goal.

People say that losing weight is the career of a woman's life, but it's actually the career of many men! Especially the men in the gay circle, one fattening ruins everything, especially the gay circle who is extremely observant of their face and body! After all, all men are vision animals!

In the past, I valued body and weight as a goal of attracting people, but now at my age, losing weight is all about health. Last year, my feet showed signs of severe edema, and my blood sugar was a little high, so I started to lose weight.

The most important thing to lose weight is not exercise, exercise is just a subsidy, but "keep your mouth shut". I was able to manage it in the first few months. After seeing some results, I relaxed and ate a little more. So the weight has not been lost.

Lack of self-discipline is the main reason. If you have enough self-discipline, you can continue to manage your mouth, and you will definitely achieve your goal of losing weight.

Starting today, strengthen self-discipline, otherwise the goal will not be achieved.

It's important now that I'm able to discipline myself. So I've been living an ordinary life

Day 110 | April 16, 2021 | Anxiety

Recently, I sometimes feel inexplicably worried. Although not a lot of things that worried me happened. Anxiety about a lot of things.

Because of anxiety, there are more or less problems in the body. Insomnia and poor sleep are natural things. Occasionally, I feel palpitations and difficulty breathing.

Faced with these, I switched from reading mystery novels to buying a lot of chicken soup motivational books to see if other people's stories were helpful to me.

But found it didn't work.

I also follow the example of others and tell myself to have more positive energy and face life with more optimism.

But also not much use. Yaoliang said, otherwise, go see a psychiatrist.

While I don't rule out going to a physiologist, I still want to figure it out on my own.

Day 111 | April 17, 2021 | Breakups become strangers

It's been two days and Xiaosheng hasn't looked for me. He's rushing to work on the model. I am also embarrassed to disturb people.

If he says, "I'm busy," don't bother me. "I will not dare to take the initiative to find him in the future, my skin is too thin.

I'm just waiting quietly for him to finish his work, and find me on a date next week! I believe in him, he is a trustworthy man.

Looking at the date, I found that today is the 111th day since I broke up with you, and I also found that I haven't thought of you for several days, even if it's a flash of thought!

Is it because I gradually let you go? Or has the person in his mind gradually replaced Xiaosheng?

Because there are no mutual friends, and you don't have a social account, in the 111 days we broke up, I almost didn't hear from you at all. I only heard your name from one or two friends occasionally, and nothing specific.

It really feels like, after breaking up, you really become strangers!

Day 112 | April 18, 2021 | The Perfect Ending

After not disappearing for two days, Xiao Sheng finally messaged me again today, telling me that his model would be completed tomorrow. Now there are some finishing touches left.

I am happy because he will notify me when there is good news, indicating that he remembers me as a person. Of course, maybe he wants to find someone to share his joy with.

But anyway, it's good that he thinks of me.

It's perfect to have something like this before the end of the week. Makes me look forward to life more next week. This is what is called positive energy!