Perth Diary Day 133: Persuading marriages with different views

Many friends who are interested in immigrating often mentioned in my consultations that couples have completely different views on the current situation in the country, and they are confused about starting over in a foreign country and unable to reach an unanimous conclusion.

I don't want to stand on the moral commanding heights of historical and cultural traditions and persuade people to take the overall situation into consideration. What I want to say is that everyone needs to pay the price for the mistakes they have made.

Many people think that I am very free. It must be because my parents are not there. They think that I must be unmarried, have no children, and have no burdens.

But this is not the case. I only asked one question before the marriage. If you are willing to go abroad with me to start anew, we will go to get the certificate. Otherwise, we will end earlier and stop wasting each other's time. I do my best.

Many of us get married, not to mention the original intention of getting encouragement and learning from each other. Even the most basic three views are unanimous. Many people can’t achieve it. It ’s just that at the right time, they encountered a so unfamiliar A person who is too suitable enters the palace of marriage under the pressure of society, the urging of parents, and the loneliness of a person.

Will there be happiness in such a marriage? What you pursue is material, maybe you will get material, but you will not get love, if what you pursue is love, then you have a chance to get love, and even eventually you can get it substance.

life, from love to freedom

Some people will say that love without material things cannot last long, and I also strongly disagree with this. If the cornerstone of a marriage with consistent three views passes the test of poverty, it will be more qualified to obtain the final happiness.

If you don't meet it, it doesn't necessarily exist. You don't believe it, so you won't get it. If you believe in it, you will have the chance to meet.

I used to be very disgusted with the idea of marriage of the right match, as if I was putting a label on everyone's marriage, saying that you don't deserve a better partner.

Looking at it now, I think it does not refer to each other's material conditions and status, but to the three views and family education of the same family. It is very superficial to understand it only as a material level.

A marriage with the same three views is shown in whether the values of each other are in line with each other, in the maturity of the handling of personnel, in the expectation of the end of each life, in the definition of happiness, and more in the current situation. In terms of logical analysis, whether you can soberly judge the trend of the environment in your future life from the analysis of the personnel around you, and whether you can have the courage to jump out and strive for a sense of security for your future life.

But a marriage with the same three views may not exist, but just like looking at people, whether there is a humble attitude and willingness to learn and accept a partner's more avant-garde ideology is also a basic condition for mutual learning .

our marital relationship

But if it is like two stubborn bulls tearing in different directions, I think it is meaningless to make do with it. How to judge who is right and who is wrong is actually easy, and it can reach a higher level of thinking. The flaws on the other side can be seen.

If a higher level of thinking compromises with a lower level of thinking, you should ask yourself whether your feelings for the other person can withstand the worst outcome you can think of. If you accept it willingly, that's fine.

But I think people are selfish, we must accept this sad reality, and only the analysis based on this most realistic status quo can withstand the blow in the face of future challenges.

Life abroad is more monotonous, giving people more time to think. I think the couples during the lockdown period must have had a deep feeling, so it is hard to get a ticket for divorce after the lockdown is lifted. The busy daily life makes people live by it. Stop thinking more and fantasizing about the future.

Not long ago, I saw the emotion of an Australian blogger that the separation rate of Chinese couples around him reached 80%, and the separation rate of local friends who loved each other was very few. In fact, my experience in Australia also supports this conclusion. Because from my understanding of most people's marriages, I really can't stand the 'boring' daily companionship in Australia and the mutual consideration of the three perspectives.

If it's really inappropriate, don't delay each other's pursuit of individual life happiness. I think it's a correct solution. The harm of a cold war and noisy family of origin to the children is better reserved for the children's future love for each other. yearning.

I also find it difficult to deal with more complex marriages, let alone parenting at a higher level, to be a role model until one truly lives for oneself.

We need to pay the price for our immature choices of the day. Only after the great pain will we have the opportunity to continue to grow and become a role model for our children.