LED lights

What happened two years ago, I have never written an article to record it, but only mentioned it occasionally, because it was too unbearable to look back on, it was a nightmare, no matter how many times I recalled it, I would cry a few times.

Last night, I dreamed of my sister without warning. Usually, I accidentally think of her during the day, and she will run into my dream, but I don't know what happened last night, maybe she came to see me.

At that time I took the final exam of my freshman year.

My neighbor sister sent me a WeChat message saying, your sister fainted.

I was having lunch, and I told my roommate next to me about it, and the roommate said, it's alright, just fainted.

Then I didn't finish the lunch.

I thought about it, how could a good person faint? Menstrual pain to faint? Haven't heard her say that she has menstrual pain?

In order to change my mood, I took my notes and ran to the book to review the book.

On the way to the library, I called my father, he said he was on his way home, and I said you should call me if there is anything. He said, good.

After I got to the library and sat down for a while, my neighbor sister came to me, and she said she was trying to rescue me.

I ran to the corner of the library and called my sister, what happened.

She said that you have to be mentally prepared to be sent to the hospital, and I don't know why this happened.

Things are really sudden, a good person, without warning.

I waited for a while, my sister said, she can't be saved.

I was back in the library at that time, but luckily there was a compartment for the table, so I couldn't see what I was doing next door.

I was crying silently, sometimes with a high-pitched choke or two, breathless, and sniffling.

I’m still chatting with my sister on WeChat, my fingers are shaking, I’ve never had such an experience in my life, I can’t type a few words of information well.

I dug out a few pieces of toilet paper from my bag to wipe my tears. Later, I found that the toilet paper was not enough. I walked back to the dormitory by myself after the tears dried. The senior watched me walk by. I wasn't in the mood to say hello to him. My face must have looked like shit, because he didn't dare to say hello to me either.

On the way back to the dormitory, I turned into the public toilet, and I couldn’t help crying again. I didn’t know who to call with my phone. In the end, I cried and called my eldest brother, I said, can you help me buy a plane ticket? I want to go back. It's not that I can't buy air tickets. I don't know why I asked my elder brother to do this at that time. Maybe I just wanted to hear him comfort me, but he didn't, and he was also in shock.

He said, fine.

Later, when I walked back to the dormitory, I saw my roommate was still there. She asked me how I was doing, and said with difficulty that my sister had passed away.

I really can't say the word "death", because I can't get along with my sister at all.

After I finished speaking, I burst into tears in the dormitory. It was the first time I cried so loudly when I grew up.

I didn't know how long I cried, and I lay in bed thinking about the exam and the funeral. I only have one subject left, and she died on the day I went back after the subject, so I wanted to go back early.

I asked the teacher, can I choose another time to take the test? family passed away.

She said yes, send me a death certificate and the test date can only be after the test month. It means that after I fly back to cook, I have to fly to school again, take a month off after the exam, and then fly back after I finish the exam. Flying around, I finally decided to go home after finishing the exam with the brigade, anyway, in time for the funeral.

In the afternoon, I received a call from my second brother, and the voice was the same as usual. He said, why are so many people calling me?

I should have called him first, so he called me, but he probably didn't check his phone at work. He was the last one to know.

I said, go to the hospital, my sister died.

He said "clam" loudly.

I said, go to the hospital, I don't know what's going on.

Now that I think about it, it's great that he didn't have an accident on the way to the hospital.

The days before going home were a mess, and I didn't know how to live.

I didn't go out because I was crying all the time. I cried once every two steps, and I would definitely cry when I went out. My roommate helped me pack the food, and I had a hard time finishing it. For the first time, the food was unpalatable.

Sitting in front of my desk, I suddenly started crying. My roommate told me to go to bed. What kind of books were I still studying?

Although the grades are mine, she is right, I can't read them.

It felt like I had slept for a long time, and when I woke up, it was only half past two in the middle of the night, the lights were still on, and it was my roommate who was still driving at night.

I curled up and sobbed beside me again.

I cried endlessly, thinking, why did she leave? No one ever told me how she got there, and I didn't dare to ask, the house must be in a mess.

My sister and I were on the phone two days ago. I posted a photo on the Moments, she said my arms are thick, I said I want to give you the clothes I am wearing in the photo because I have thick arms. She said, okay okay.

At that time, it was my first time to go home after college. After half a year, I was very happy, and it was also the Lunar New Year.

That was the last time I heard her voice.

The last time I saw her, she watched me at the airport. At that time, I was going to college. I was flying alone or something, and I wanted to cry when I left home, so I didn't dare to look at her who was watching. The last time I saw her, I had come a long way, but she was still looking at me.

I really really regret that I didn't take a good look at her at that time. This is the thing I regret the most right now. If my life can be repeated, I will want to go back to that time without hesitation. But I couldn't do it all over again, regret is regret, decorating the rest of my life, like LED lights at night, eye-catching, always reminding me that she is gone, she is gone.

Update next time.