"My Exodus Diary" - Liberation, a dialogue with myself

Speaking of Korean dramas that have been discussed by many people recently, I believe many people will think of "My Exodus Diary". "My Exodus Diary" will be broadcast in April 2022. After the broadcast, it is loved by many migrant workers. This work is considered to be a masterpiece of the same type as the classic therapy TV series "My Uncle" many years ago. Why is "My Exodus Diary" so highly discussed?

"My Runaway Diary" is a story about the Lian family living in Yamaura City. Living in Yamaura City, office workers of the Lian family spend a long time commuting every day, so the three sisters of the Lian family often leave early and return late. In such a rural place, a strange man appeared one day. He often bought alcohol to get drunk, and later went to work in the farmland and factory run by the Lian family. After the Lian family slowly approached him, everyone changed. What will they become in the end?

• Yeom Mi-jung── Existence

 Lian Meizhen: "My heart has never been filled, one bastard after another. I've dated all bastards. So you worship me, let my heart be filled...I want to be People fill their hearts once, so worship me. Love alone is not enough, worship me!"

I don't know if everyone has low self-esteem. In the same environment, we feel insecure about not doing well. In this environment, we cannot find our worth and always feel inferior to others. Frankly, that's who I am. This became more and more obvious especially after arriving in Taiwan. Studying in a design-related research institute, I would feel inferior for not having relevant knowledge. Watching my classmates do their best while I'm always on the sidelines makes me feel very out of place. They will say they lack my analytical and argumentative skills, but I will feel that those are unimportant because I feel that what I don't have is more important than what I have. I have a lot of these people around me, people who only see what they lack. When we're interviewing, we're always asked about our strengths and weaknesses, and we spend minutes figuring out our weaknesses, but we can't think of any strengths. This may be a matter of education, as we are often taught to appreciate and learn from the strengths of others and to change our own weaknesses. However, we do not appreciate our own advantages, and some people even think that their advantages are not advantages, because everyone has them, so ordinary, how can they be considered advantages? When we get along with people, it is inevitable to make comparisons, and the sad thing is that whenever we see the good points of others, we feel inferior to others. In this society, people with great achievements always have their own unique talents, and it is because we lack those talents that we think we can only be an audience. In the TV series, Lian Meizhen said: "Looking back, the bastard in my life also had that kind of look at the beginning. That kind of look seems to say "you're not good enough" and makes people feel small. It's the kind of look that makes us tired and sick, like a small human being. To find out that we are worthy of being loved, and to dive right in. Those relationships in the end just keep embarrassing ourselves. Where do we look? The answer?” In relationship after relationship, we seem to be searching for our own worth. We want to define who we are through the affirmation of others. In the workplace, we hope to be the kind of person with outstanding performance; in school, we hope to be the kind of model students praised by teachers; in life, we hope to be the kind of person who has influence and the right to speak to others. What kind of people do we want to be? How should we define our own worth? The sense of powerlessness in life is derived from this, we have lost ourselves, but we yearn for ourselves. Therefore, we hope that others will fill our empty hearts, and through the "worship" of others, we will reflect our own value and even our own existence. In the play, Lian Meizhen said: "That bastard can't pay off the money, I want time to prove forever how bad that guy is, I want to prove to the world that he didn't leave me because I was insignificant. Go, but because he sucks, that's why he took my money and left.... That's why I'm so powerless. I always want to prove how bad others are, as the meaning of my existence." In a comparison mentality, we often want to be the better side. We want to look kinder, considerate, and healthy, and use these "positive" labels to "self-improve". These behaviors all stem from a lack of self-confidence. We think we are not good enough, so we hope to use these positive images to attract good impressions from others. So what can you do to make yourself better? Yeom Mi-jeong thought it was "worship". But what is worship? To this end, Mr. Gu and Lian Meizhen had the following dialogue:

Mr. Ku: "How to worship others?"

Lian Meizhen: "Come on for them, tell them: 'You can do anything, nothing is difficult to get you'. Support them."

When we lack self-confidence, worship can replenish our self-confidence. Yes, self-confidence can be given and gained like a supply. Worship restores people's confidence and allows them to do things they were afraid to do before. Once they took that first step, they successfully turned into a butterfly, which is what they were referring to as a transformation. To break through their own boundaries, so that from the "breakthrough", people can achieve self-affirmation and thus gain self-worth. When people do or try to do things they haven't done before, they will realize their courage and determination, and achieve self-affirmation. If people break through successfully, their self-affirmation will further become self-worth, thinking that they are not themselves As expected, it turns out that if you try hard, you can do it. Therefore, "worshiping" others is the starting point of all events, giving people the courage to take risks by complementing their original lack of self-confidence, thereby allowing them to build confidence.

• run away from the same club ── others

 Lian Meizhen: "I've been looking for someone who will make me better, a partner who will make me better. But no matter how I choose, I can't support that person wholeheartedly. I hope he's better than me, but I can't. Too good. I never give or take with all my heart. If my partner is too good for me to think I can't keep him, I'll happily let him go, even if he's at a low point in his life, I'm not ashamed of him , even if people all over the world point at him, I will support him as an equal, even my parents have never supported us like this in my life.”

Some people may say, why care about how others see themselves? Do what you like, do what you want to do, right? This looks very nice, but not everyone can do it. As Lian Meizhen said: "If you want to tear up your face with someone you have a certain relationship with, some people just can't do it. It's more uncomfortable than tearing up your face with someone and putting yourself in an embarrassing situation when you can't get money. .” Some people just put a lot of emphasis on how others see them, and the reason for that may stem from their upbringing. Just like me, I also attach great importance to the eyes of others. While I knew it would be better to be myself, I couldn't suppress my mental habits. Whenever I think about how I think this way, I think the environment I grew up in has a big influence on me. Some of my friends may know that I am the youngest child in the family. I didn't live with my family when I was young, because my parents had to work and didn't have time to take care of me all day, so I grew up with my grandmother taking care of me. It wasn't until I entered kindergarten in due time that my parents took me back to live with me. During these years, I had no experience with my older brothers and sisters, nor with my parents for a long time, so I attached great importance to how they viewed me. I study hard, hoping to gain their recognition and appreciation through my good grades, and even compete for favor, so as to become the most well-behaved child in my parents' hearts. It's not healthy, but I can't stop it, and I don't know how to stop it. This valuing of others' evaluations is also exacerbated by parental actions. When parents keep knocking down their children's confidence, telling them "you can't do it" again and again, the child will lose confidence and enter a stage of self-denial. People at this stage need the affirmation of others to identify themselves, so they will become very attached to the evaluation of others.

"The Other" is very important to us. We always know ourselves through others. But in today's society, our relationship with others has changed. Everyone agrees that communicative competence is an excellent soft power, but not everyone likes to be communicative. We sometimes change and suppress our behavior because of others. In a runaway club event, Park Xiangmin said: "Sitting opposite others always makes me feel uncomfortable. I always feel that it is very oppressive to face others face to face. It also makes me very uncomfortable to have constant conversations. There is pressure. No matter where I am, I will meet people who are not right with me, and those people will never change, so I can only change myself, but I don't want to let go of my anger, because I should feel angry. My anger is clearly deserved, but I have to endure it again and again, which is really painful.” There are many “etiquettes” in society, to maintain tolerance when angry; to keep smiling when sad, these creeds are considered to be Aristocratic etiquette. When we can't tolerate it and get angry, the person being blamed changes instantly, the original wrongdoer becomes the victim, and we become the person with poor emotional management and bad temper. The underlying skills of this social communication are tiring, and everyone becomes an actor, playing the role of "oneself in the eyes of others". Because we want to be seen as good-natured, mature and stable people, we also need to keep smiling when we are angry, otherwise it will affect other people's impression of ourselves. Therefore, we only truly relax when we are alone, because we understand that it is only in front of ourselves that we do not need to pretend. The most tiring part of working in the city lies in these hard-to-see places. In the play, Yeom Mi-jung said, "I'm tired, I don't know where the problem started, but I'm just tired. All relationships are like work, and every waking moment is laboring. Nothing happened, and no one liked me." In the city, people are mostly "Hi-Bye" friends, those friends who are just socializing to deal with the situation on the surface. I don't know what everyone's name is. Maybe it's because it's hard to make real friends in the city, and the only people who can confide in themselves are themselves. When one's own negative emotions continue to ferment within oneself, people will slowly become tired and tired of life. So how do we deal with these emotions?

• Yeom Chang-hee ─ Mentality is everything

 Lian Changxi: "I live so desperately, but can you find me this coin from the same coin pile as that mountain?"

There is a natural reason for having a bad mood. It may be because of a failed promotion, a failed investment, or being scolded. Faced with these emotions, we can deal with them from the source. By changing our attitude, we can reduce the appearance of negative emotions. In the face of the same people and things, we have different moods under different mentalities, so it is not those things that look bad that make us feel bad, but our mentality that makes us feel bad. I believe that in "My Exodus Diary", everyone remembers Lian Changxi's words: "Fate is about going with the flow, you don't need special desire, why desire something that belongs to you? Have you ever seen a rich man desire famous brands? They're all direct purchases, and when you're desperate for something, it means deep down in your soul that it doesn't belong to you. You want to have it, but you know it doesn't belong to you, and that's what drives people crazy." Yes, this sentence really touched me. As I said above, I am very envious of those classmates who know how to design, and I hope that I can draw cute characters and fashionable designs like them. Although I am on the way to learn the relevant knowledge, I still yearn that I can have the same talents as them. However, when I saw Yeom Chang Hee say this line of dialogue, I wasn't so eager anymore. Because I don't want to just be the one who desires, I want to be the one who is envied. Instead of constantly calculating the gap between yourself and others and yearning for the talents that others have, it is better to spend more time learning and ask people how to cultivate them to become better.

In "My Exodus Diary", Lian Changxi often speaks thought-provoking dialogues. In this work, he has both mature and naive performance. From his story, we can see that his story revolves around desire and purpose in life. He said: "It seems that I have fought hard enough, this is not the way I should go, and I don't have to force myself to keep running! To be honest, I don't have any goals in life, money, women, fame, everything. No, but must there be a purpose in life? Can't I live aimlessly? I can't forcibly create desires that don't exist." Ordinary is the word that has always been emphasized in this show. Not everyone in this world has special talents, outstanding looks, clear goals, etc. In society, there are more people who have no goals and are ups and downs in life. As for desire, Lian Changxi believes that it is obtained by force. When fate comes, even if you have no desire, you will get it, but it is not yours, even if you pray to God and worship Buddha every day, you will not have it. Therefore, social achievements and life goals do not need to be forced. When your opportunity comes, you may simply be walking on the street, and you will be discovered and made into a superstar.

• Cherish life, start now

 Lian Meizhen: "I'm like a cow herder, dragging myself forward with difficulty and persuading myself to move forward; although I haven't found a reason to live, at least I want to live a decent life. I just reluctantly dragged myself through the day.”

It’s not difficult to make our lives a little more fun, and we can make small changes in the rhythms of our daily experiences that can make a difference in our day. How to be energetic every day, Lian Meizhen said to Mr. Ku: "Five minutes a day, as long as you have five minutes to catch your breath, you can survive. When I go to the convenience store, I help the students open the door and I will be thankful for getting a thank you from them. I am happy for seven seconds. When I wake up in the morning, I will be happy for ten seconds because I think that it is Saturday, so I gather five minutes every day. This is how I survived.” , let those little things recharge and change your mindset. When our hearts are freed from the fatigued life to get a few seconds of happiness, that is the beginning of success. Because it means that we open the window to our captive selves for a few seconds, and when we get used to doing this, we may one day actually be able to open the door to our captive selves and remove ourselves from that little room. liberate.

Lian Meizhen: "I, want to run away. I want to be liberated. Although I don't know where I am being imprisoned, it seems like I am imprisoned. There is nothing that makes me feel good at all. It is dark and boring. I want to break through the siege. ”

This show means a lot to me. I originally planned to write a separate article to share and express my recent mood, because after coming to Taiwan to study, I felt a sense of depression, but this work became my tree hole. "My Exodus Diary" said exactly what I was going through, so I felt it very much. Like Yeom Mi-jeong said, I felt like I was imprisoned, anxious and impatient in that small place. I felt powerless because I couldn't catch up with others, and I was also discouraged by my lack of talent. Before I knew it, I had been spinning on the road of self-denial. Lian Meizhen's sentence "I will never compromise, I don't want to go to heaven after I die, I want to live to see heaven" is what I think is the best dialogue in the whole plot. A good life must be experienced while alive, not bitter and sweet. In fact, Lian Qizhen also said something similar: "Why do you want to be detached and have reservations? When you are eating, you will be killed if you are appetizing like this? Then why do you have to be so stingy when expressing love? What is the benefit of being appetizing? It will be fun!" Everyone has heard stories of hard work and hard work when they were young. Hard work, restraint, and patience became perceived virtues. But sometimes restraint simply binds one's hands and feet. How should I live when I can't relax? So in this work, we can see that Lian Qizhen is very different from her younger siblings. Her rectitude and her character of thinking and saying have caused a lot of trouble for herself, but her character is also a precious treasure in this society. Because she can do things that other characters in the play can't do, she can ignore other people's eyes and do what she thinks is right. Not everyone can do this kind of courage.

Friends who have read "My Exodus Diary", don't know your favorite line of dialogue?

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