96% of the things you worry about won't happen

Let's start with some spoilers.

There is no more solid evidence for this title, but you can easily find books on this type of sentence pattern.

This kind of book is worse, chicken soup, sold around, just to earn a few poor companions in your pocket. What about others? Still useful because they rely on more falsifiable experiments.

One of the most worthy of repeating experiments is this:

Please find a box, not too big, but not too small, because you will put your own notes in it.

Write one of the most worrying things on a note, fold it and throw it in. If you think of another one the next day, write another note and put it in. No matter how many, you can add them at any time so that you can visualize your worries through external rituals. Then, the next step is to set an approximate time, such as a week, a month, etc. If you look back at these notes, one by one, most people are no exception. Those notes in the box, at least more than 90% of the fears and worries have never happened at all.

At this time, let's go back to the keyword written in the title - "worry".

What are you worried about?

Or, we may all be worried about something specific, like can I pass an exam? Can I sign a contract tomorrow? Does this person dislike me? Or will I start having a toothache again today?

But what really haunts us are some more unconfirmed hunches.

It's like a person who is superstitious about the fate of the stars, and suddenly sees that Jupiter is retrograde, or a certain disaster star enters his life, he will be worried, and it seems that all internal and external feelings also begin to "suspect neighbors and steal axe". You can't be sure what's making you unlucky, but there's something in your heart that's always waiting for a boot to hit the ground. This state of panic makes you unable to get rid of your own worries, and the inability to visualize sadness will also change your view of the world.

For example, in life, we occasionally encounter things that seem particularly incomprehensible.

A certain calm gentleman suddenly became furious because of something. They can even go crazy and attack another innocent person just because of one sentence. We just ask someone something softly, with no ill will, and get loudly reprimanded, as if we've offended something unforgivable.

Other times, there will always be someone around us who keeps complaining, and he complains about things that everyone present cannot solve. For example, when we want to go out to play, it happens to rain heavily, we want to watch a long-awaited movie, and when we arrive at the entrance of the theater, we find that we have lost our tickets. Even when we face an incompetent boss, we can only listen to him to shirk responsibility. Know how to abuse employees.

Of course, there are people who are even more inaccessible. They are always in depression, as if they are full of air-conditioning, they are frozen to death, and the people around them are also half-frozen. We sympathize with them, but we also have no power to save. Just like rescuing drowning people, they are often dragged to the bottom together.

When we stand in the sun, it is difficult to understand why other people complain about their darkness.

The problem is not the other party, but our understanding and lack of sufficient experience.

Of course, no one's patience is to blame here. You have to remember that our palms are only so big, no matter how hard we try, we can only hold up a puddle the size of our own palms. The most important thing for everyone is to save themselves, not to expect someone to rescue them.

This is the meaning of the title.

You don't have to look for scientific evidence to believe, but you can use experiments to change your opinion and bring a light-hearted mind back to us.

• First, don't scare yourself.

For example, the epidemic suddenly interrupted our work, and as a result, we stayed at home for seven days, but no work call came in. When you return to the company, everything will work as usual. Do you think you are important to the company? In other words, if you persevere desperately, you always feel that if you don’t keep it up, everything will get out of control. Is this idea accurate?

Anyone can leave the world, and we are not always that important. At least in an ordinary company, the most important thing for most employees is to take care of themselves, rather than exaggerating and imagining their role.

Self, for "self", is the most important thing.

Therefore, some small shame or other people's opinions may be remembered in ten or eight years, but you will not repeat yourself ten or eight years later.

We will not be the protagonists in the eyes of others, and others do not care, who did what, who ate what, who was ugly, who made mistakes - we are the most important.

• Second, nothing should be.

What should it be?

Should I go to college? Should you go abroad? Is it supposed to make a lot of money? Or is it better to find someone to marry?

Should I be happy today? Is it right to love someone tomorrow? Who should I be better than today? Who should I be taller than tomorrow?

He said, you should be like this; she said, you should be like that; everyone has requirements, but what exactly do you "should" have?

Some people say, "None of your business" and "None of my business" are good solutions to all life's problems. It's a joke, of course, but it expresses an attitude. There is no certain path in life. Everyone has different family backgrounds, different personalities, and the difficulties and help they encounter are all changing. ?

Our current life is bitter and sweet, difficult and easy, but there is nothing that we "should" do. Because no one but ourselves can define our own "should".

The important thing is to identify with yourself. A gentleman is magnanimous, and a villain is long and affectionate. What is a gentleman and what is a villain. If you don't do anything wrong in your life, you are a gentleman. In the middle of the night, I am always afraid of ghosts knocking on the door, that is, the villain.

• Third, it's not a sin to cry.

It takes courage to admit that you are beyond your power, and knowing the boundaries of your own strength is the real maturity in life.

No one is really a superman who can fly away from the sky, at least, we will always encounter a day when we lose superpowers.

What will happen then?

All I can say is that there is no power of chicken soup.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you can't do it, no matter how hard you try, you will fail, no matter how serious you are, you will be scolded in the face... What can we do?

We can't always ask to meet a reasonable person, we have to give ourselves "reasonableness".

Therefore, crying is not a sin, letting go of yourself is also a life choice.

Only by opening your mind can you breathe freely and free yourself from the locks of your heart.

People, sometimes, you need to hold yourself, hide in the shadows, and give yourself a chance to suffer.

That is the most helpless giving up and the most reliable comfort.

At this time, let's go back and look at this title -

96% of the things you worry about won't happen

Any ideas?

Remember this sentence, not all the required proofs.

Remember yourself, not others.

All the best is just a wish, but a 96% certainty is a trustworthy spell.