the eyes of others

When I was young, I always cared a lot because of other people's eyes or the whispers of others. I always thought that the glances of others were aimed at me, and others criticized me, but I didn't know that I was not important enough to be discussed by others. I never learned this.

It wasn't until I took a class like " Intimacy Journey" in the church that I realized that I cared too much, and I just didn't have confidence in myself. Because of their lack of confidence in themselves, what other people said and those criticized words unknowingly took them all on themselves. In fact, how many people would be interested in someone who is not themselves ? After all, that's a minority.

After taking such a course, I learned not to care about what other people think or what they say, because that kind of words can't help me at all, not to mention I can't know whether what others say is aimed at you or not. , why be sad. Maybe that terrifying glance is just looking at someone or something behind you, but takes that unintentional look as a weapon to hurt yourself. Human imagination is really omnipotent.

So I learned to let myself not be affected by such gossip and rumors, but to constantly encourage myself, just do what you should do, and what do other people's words have to do with you? So slowly I was no longer influenced by the words of others.

If what others say is really me, I try to look at it in two ways:

First, is what others say true?

Second, do I have anything to improve?

I think this is how I slowly let myself out of such sensitivity (although I often fail), after all, I am not the kind of person who will always pay attention to others, so I can naturally understand that others may not always pay attention to you. of.

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I remember when I was at work, a group of colleagues got together and started talking and discussing others in small pieces. At that time, I always thought they were talking about me, but I didn’t do what they said. In worry and fear, thinking that the slander in the mouth of others is me. In such a work environment, I was deeply distressed and felt that I was being excluded, although sometimes it was not obvious. It wasn't until some time later that I found out that what they were talking about was not me at all. Even if I was relieved, I was still sad. In such a working environment, no matter who was criticized, this was not a thing that should have happened, but in such a working environment. In this society, there will be a group of such people, no matter where they are, there are always such people influencing others.

When I used to live in a military village, I was in a provincial school in high school (the province was not yet abolished at that time), and when I got off the bus, a student who was my classmate and neighbor in elementary school greeted me, He went to a private high school, and it was a not-so-reputable high school. We walked all the way home, chatting while walking, slowly getting closer and closer to home, the keen classmate immediately said, "Let's go separately, lest there will be rumors of aunts and aunts, right? You are not good."

I understood the three aunts and six grandmothers in his mouth in seconds. Their idleness is the big and small matter of other people's homes, which made us suffer a lot, so we quickly separated and walked back to our own home.

All four of my family are daughters, and they are not bad (I said it myself), so there are some boys waiting in front of my house, but mainly for my sister (the second and third), they have too many foreign affairs, and I am always envious and jealous . Because in addition to the diligent pursuit of boys, the most common thing I see is gifts. I have wanted gifts for a long time, but they are not given to me.

Because of this, some neighbors will consciously or unintentionally talk about how our daughter is. Fortunately, my mother just listened and didn't take it seriously, otherwise we might be grounded for this.

Perhaps because of such an environment, I have had associations or possible malice towards people's words since I was a child.

Fortunately, after the baptism of time, I also took a growth course in the church, and I found that I was overthinking before, and this is how I see it differently in life.

Life experience takes time to accumulate, and the bigger it is, the more you discover how much time and life wasted by previous worries. Only then did I really understand that every little friction in life may bring good blessings to life rather than damage. There is really no need to spend too much time to intrigue, it is too late to live a good life in this world, and things that are meaningless must be abandoned.