鹿兒
鹿兒

只是一個喜歡寫作的靜態女子。 https://linktr.ee/Averyflute

one of the last songs he sang

(edited)
don't make me feel bad

The first time I heard him sing was in a radio APP. This voice live broadcast platform allows everyone to have their own voice space, and all kinds of voices can be listened to by random passers-by through this small space.

He, right here, the most perfect man in my life.

The day I met his voice was the worst day in my life. A week after the divorce was agreed upon, my father suffered a sudden myocardial infarction, which made me realize the feeling of falling into an abyss.

Just at the moment when all kinds of complicated and trivial matters for divorce are tormenting my brain, my father suddenly passed away, and the unsuspecting bad news once again experienced the feeling of being delayed by fate.

According to my father's will, everything was done in a simple and solemn way. My ex-husband came to my father's soul to offer incense. My father, who didn't know anything about my divorce, thought I had a happy destination until the last moment. The ex-husband who took the filial piety obviously didn't care about this matter at all. The clear lines on his expressionless face meant that if he got out of this door quickly, he would have nothing to do with our family.

It was a night just after my father's farewell ceremony. I went back to the small apartment where I was alone. I took off my equipment, turned on the heater, threw myself on the sofa, and habitually opened the radio app.

Since I returned to my single life and lived alone, I became a little unaccustomed to the quiet atmosphere around me. I use this app to listen to songs, gossip, and listen to other people's stories. I just need to listen without responding. I have an inexplicable sense of security.

On that fragile night, I heard his voice.

"Next, an old song."

In the mobile phone, the sound of the piano sounded leisurely... A gentle and rich voice sang in the vicissitudes of life:

"Don't hide your panic

Shake your head and lie to me

I have already seen your sorrow

But he's not worth your tears


Although this love fascinates people

But I'm just afraid that you're not strong enough

The heaven he promised to give you

not what you think


when he loves you

you must not believe it

Don't give your kiss lightly

don't make me feel bad for you

He swears his life

That's not the eternity you expected

Don't be sad and regretful after waking up

don't make me feel bad for you

Please don't make me feel bad" (Zheng Zhongji - don't make me feel bad)


At the end of the piano ending, the voice that seemed to be injured like me left a lingering rhyme in my mind. His words were few, and he only sang every song that seemed to heal my wounds with a strong sense of vicissitudes. , I cried unrestrainedly, that was the first time I cried loudly since my divorce and the death of my father.

All night, I listened to it all night, the tears on my face were wet and dry, dry and wet, and I kept hearing the dawn.

Finally, I heard him say:

"This is the first time I sing till dawn, I hope this night will leave you something."


Unfinished... To be continued with the second song...


CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

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