Mood record [give yourself a little time to make sad things, one day you can say them with a smile]

This morning, I saw my favorite Crayon Shin-chan on Facebook, and the positive energy slowly quotes [ give yourself a little time to make sad things, and one day you can say them with a smile], which completely matches my mood! I can laugh and share stories from the past! I did it!

First of all, I would like to express my heartfelt thanks to every author/reader who has never been with me for their support and encouragement to Starling Xiaoli.

Thank you for taking the time to read all of my crazy stories.

Thank you for letting me know that I made the right decision, like Danielson said it's okay to get a divorce and let him fend for himself! Good Le! Agree!

I also want to take this opportunity to say to those enthusiastic people who usually like to gossip about my personal feelings: Thank you for your efforts to create rumors, thank you for letting me know that my ability to withstand pressure is also quite strong. Let’s compare hearts to hearts, if you have also experienced the first half of my life, you may not have the ability to face it, and you will not have my generosity! But it doesn't matter, I don't mind being your post-dinner topic, so that you can relieve your boredom, I can be considered a meritorious deed, right!

I often joke that if I list my past one by one, I think I have the ability to publish a book! Although it is impossible to publish a book, I don't have that ability, but I am happy that I have completed my small goal, and the little TO-DO-LIST has written my story into an article!

I would also like to thank my lover, my lover's family, and thank you for being willing to tolerate my unbearable past. Let me continue to do what I want and do what I love in a loving and warm environment.

For my parents, in addition to thanks, I should say apology. Because I think I'm a problem child, I've made you worry about my health. But the saddest thing in my heart is that, no matter the future, my father can no longer participate in my wedding (if there is a chance, haha)

I also have a wish, I hope if I have the opportunity to step into marriage again. This time, I must be willing and happy to announce to the world that I have found happiness. I'm ready! And my happiness will no longer be sacrificed to fulfill the wishes of others!

We have mentioned the negative, but what about the positive energy that divorce brings me?

1. I don't need to force myself to live in a family where all three views disagree with me . I don't need to cooperate with those so-called fortune-telling prophecies, the baggage of superstition. (Because my ex father-in-law died a week after we got married, my ex-brother took me as a bastard and said that he would kill his father only if he married me. This kind of mental stress is not common. People can bear it) Statement: His father had liver cirrhosis originally, but his death will be blamed on my head, no way) but I can say BYE BYE.
2. I no longer need to worry about bringing any bad luck to their house . (Because my family runs a funeral service, his family is super superstitious, and they think this business will bring bad luck to their family. For me, funeral service is also a merit, right) I It can be said BYE BYE.
3. I don't need to be a scary lover (I don't want to because he's a repeat offender), I don't need to check my phone, I don't need to worry about whether he's going on a date again (boy). I can say BYE BYE
4. I don't need to live in the shadow of HIV . Congratulations, I can say BYE BYE
5. I can self-examine how foolish my previous view of love was! Fool! idiot! It's not just swallowing up your grievances, you will get the other party's sympathy and treasure! Big mistake!
6. I don't need to live in a fortune teller's prophecy. (His family believed in fortune-telling. The fortune-teller said that he had two wives in his life, and his family believed it, and also said that the two wives would live in harmony in the future, so I had to accept it because it was his fate! Good! I'm not his wife at all, so it doesn't matter how many he wants to marry. It doesn't matter to me if he wants to marry someone!
7. I don't need to worry about his health anymore . Since HIV attacks the human immune system, he is often frail and sickly. And I will be very nervous and stressed, and I don't know that the doctor will bring me an unbearable 'surprise' in time.
8. I don't need to be a free consultant and a maid anymore . They don't need to be their general family affairs. I have to take care of all the big and small things. The solution is because of his family. His mother would say, because I am more stable and I can handle things better, so this is all my responsibility. (And I haven’t gotten any gratitude yet. His brother is still a rogue. I said that I complained that his mother handled a lot of things for me, and I was unwilling to deal with it.) ~Normal people will be upset. Marrying one person is equal to marrying his whole family)
9. No need to put up with their unfair family philosophy anymore . (My own children are always excellent, the fault is always from outsiders) It’s not me who did the wrong thing (because his brother revealed that my ex was GAY before his father died, so he’s clearly looking for trouble, but his mother asked me to talk to my ex’s brother Apologize, because the mother said that the small must make the big !
10. I don't need to stress out about every banquet attendance . (They're very good looking associations, if they think you don't dress well, you're going to get shot! If you wear a duplicate dress to a party, you'll be criticized) I've been criticized before, your mom didn't give you money to buy clothes !
11. I don't need to cover up his mistakes, make excuses for his mistakes, and comfort myself .
12. After I left, I learned what love is, love is not control, love is not compromising, fighting to the death . Never expect to wake someone pretending to be asleep.
13. I don't need to bury my talent any more and be controlled not to exceed the capabilities of his children . After the divorce, my ex's family members often told me: Don't be too strong, men will be afraid of you! But for my current one, he likes me better now. He never underestimated my ability, but he was more worried that I would be lazy and not enrich myself.
14. Whether it's straight or gay, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, it should be blessed.
15. Finally, I would like to thank my current partner for giving me the opportunity to learn to be another partner, to be a normal woman. For my relationship with my current one, I only hold trust, because I don't want to become a horrible lover anymore, I don't want to check my phone (very low-level behavior). We can get along and be alone. He can accept my independence or make me depend on me (a real man should be like this)
16. Thank you for all the unbearable experiences that made me realize how someone who truly loves you would have the heart to hurt you, use your kindness, and spoil your tolerance. I'm sorry you are too late.

The vent is over! readily! 26/7/2022

Thank you very much for your support to Starling Xiaoli. (Three bows, thanks, love you! Haha!)