Mood expression [vulnerable groups in marriage. Same wife]

I believe that everyone is not unfamiliar with the names of 'same love' and 'comrade', so have you ever heard of same wife ? Although today's 'writing down' is a bit heavy and has to evoke my unbearable experience, my inner fears, I decided to take courage and share one of the darkest experiences in my life. I want to put this life experience to an end through writing , which is a very formal [ farewell ]. The secrets of my life that I guard can only be disclosed in words.

I hope that through my sharing, the society can have a better understanding and understanding of the experience of [the same wife]. Before I go into the description, let me state that I do not discriminate against gays , but I cannot accept people who build their happiness on others. As women, you will have a beautiful view of love and marriage, right? I used to be too. But my ignorance of feelings and misunderstanding of single-mindedness really almost destroyed my life. What is 【 Co-Wife 】? Same-wives are the legal wives of gay men in law. It is a disadvantaged group that is not valued in marriage .

As I mentioned in the previous article , I got divorced because my other partner was gay. Have you heard of these cases? Or are you currently facing the same experience and don't know what to do? I really hope that my sharing can help many female friends get out of the predicament of the same wife. My short marriage lasted only a year. It should not be uncommon for a 'little third' to appear in a marriage, and if you find that the 'little three', 'little four', and 'little five' are male, this kind of blow should be very exciting, right? I used to think, I actually lost to a man, should I do a good review? The answer is: wrong! Woman, don't be stupid, don't punish yourself with other people's mistakes!

Now let me borrow a time machine from Tinkerbell and start with my love. My ex and I were classmates in Form 6. My impression of him was that he was a fair-skinned, tall boy. His appearance gave me the impression that his family was pretty decent. When we are together, it is natural to upgrade from a friendship, a brother (a pretty BRO) relationship to a couple relationship. When we're together, there's no sweetness that sticks like honey. I still remember when we first started dating, he wouldn't hold my hand because he said he didn't like holding hands because his hands were prone to sweating. At that time, he also told me that there is a probation period for two people in love, and it will be stable after three months. At the time, I didn't think much about it because I didn't have much experience in love.

This is also the education instilled by my parents since I was a child. My parents are more conservative in their thinking. My father is very strict with my discipline. He often warns me not to fall in love early, not to go to bars (PUB, KTV, BISTRO), not this or that. Sometimes I also feel that I can't breathe. After all, I know very little, and because of this, I am often teased and looked down upon by my classmates at school (I didn't tell my family about this). Do you believe it? It seems that I didn't go to a bar for the first time until I was 28, and it was the current one who took me there. So my concept of love is that once you start, you must be responsible for me and the other partner's feelings 'for the rest of your life'. Don't laugh at me being stupid and naive! I was really dumbfounded at the time!

This love is not easy to go, because his family concept is the kind that attaches great importance to his children. For example, my son is better than others in everything, and the fault is always the children of others. At the time, I was also charged with a lot of crimes. His grandmother once told my ex's mother: Ouch, XX has a girlfriend? Does that girl often spend his money? You have to pay attention to your son, don't let that girl affect his studies. As everyone knows, my predecessor's personality was that of a lazy student who would copy other people's homework. At that time, I was very concerned about his family's criticism of me, and I sometimes wondered if his family was richer and looked down on me, a girl from an ordinary family, as his other companion.

But I am very stubborn and not easy to admit defeat, I work very hard to help my other partner to supervise his studies (this is something his family has never heard of until now). After finally completing the sixth form, I was admitted to the university. He entered college a year before me because I needed a year to deal with the transfer. Our little days were pretty uneventful. It's just that I also noticed that he never paid attention to other women. At that time, I thought I found a good man! It's funny to think about it now.

Due to selective memory loss, I can no longer remember the date clearly. I remember it was when the two of us made an appointment to travel to Malacca and Kuala Lumpur together with his cousin and girlfriend. I still remember that we stayed at his cousin's house the night before. I don't know what the feeling was at that time, just after everyone fell asleep, I suddenly came to check the mobile phone behavior. I don't know if it's because I'm insecure or what, but now I steal his phone to see. At a glance, the cells in my body were stiff, and the tears remained uncontrollably. I still remember seeing a guy named William in the chat room and my ex called him Darling. The content of the chat is: I will go on a trip with my family tomorrow. If I feel bored, please Darling to chat with me. I was so angry that I threw my phone in his direction. Afterwards, the teacher asked for guilt. The ex didn't respond, just said sorry. I gave him two slaps in anger, and I still remember that I told him at the time, the first one, I beat you, and the second one, I beat you for your mother.

We were in a cold war after that, especially after the school holidays, and I had to go back to college. The mood at that time was really torturous, and there was no one to complain about, so I had to ask my ex-brother and younger brother to help me keep an eye on him. After this incident, I remember that we had an appointment to go to the beach to talk about our hearts. My ex told me that he couldn't control his love for boys. He liked boys 70% and girls 30%. He told me that he wanted to commit suicide because his family couldn't accept gay children. He mentioned that his mother took them to fortune-telling when he was a child, and the fortune-telling showed that his younger brother would be gay in the future. His mother reacted violently, warning them that if any of you dared to become gay, I would break your legs. At that time he told me in tears that he had no choice, the only way he could think of was to seek short-sightedness.

At that moment, I sympathized with him very much, because I knew a little about his family who loved face, and absolutely could not accept absurd behavior. Since I was full of sympathy for him, I told him it was okay, and I was with you until you were healed. He also told me at the time that he didn't know when he would recover. Not long after, another thing happened. Just because he made improper friends, the police misunderstood him as a car thief and was detained. At that time, he begged me not to tell his family about this matter, and I also paid bail for him from time to time. Since the matter could be big or small, in the end I chose to confess to his parents, and as a result, he was regarded as a sinner by his whole family. His grandfather even called and blamed my dad, saying that my dad wouldn't teach his daughter! At that time, I was really angry, but because of the constant accumulation of shadows, I was only afraid of his family and did not dare to resist. Looking back now, this relationship was really a bad fate.

Because it was a misunderstanding, the case was withdrawn without leaving any record. (It is a good fortune. But after he came out of the detention center, his attitude towards me changed 360 times. I was also very helpless. I thought to myself, we After going through so many twists and turns, shouldn't he cherish my contribution even more? (The fact is: what you pay will not be equal to taking back.) He became more and more indifferent to me and more and more alienated. He told me that he was in the detention center. , he feels protected, and when he is with me, he needs to protect me. He now makes a three-chapter contract with me. I can't ask him or touch his mobile phone when he goes out with his friends, or it will affect his health. The road to mental recovery. I'm really so obedient...  

Days passed until I graduated from college. I still remember one day on our way to the mall, I said straight to the point, let's separate, I don't see the front in you, I feel very confused, we don't need to waste each other's time anymore. He was silent at the time. But after a week, his father suddenly said: You two marry me! My reaction at the time was no! I don't want it because I just graduated from college, I have no financial ability, no house, no car, this is too insecure and I can't accept it. Do you know how his parents responded to me at the time? He said that the car and the house, we will help you, as long as you get married, because XX's grandfather is old, don't let him have regrets. I also had a big fight with my ex about this. He also told me to fuck with death, threatening him that if we didn't get married, she would explain to her father-in-law, then she should die.

A week after this happened, my ex 24 changed his attitude. He told me that he figured it out and asked me to give him the opportunity to take on the responsibilities that a man should have. He said we should get married. Although I still strongly object because I have absolutely no resolve to marry him, because everything is too unreal, too unrealistic for me, but it is too late, before they have my consent , they have come to my house to propose marriage. I still remember that my parents didn't ask them for any dowry, they just wanted him and their family to treat me well. I will accept my fate. That's how we got married. Unfortunately, his father's liver cirrhosis happened a week after our wedding. (For details, please click on my link above, which is explained in the previous article).

His family never knew that he was gay, only his older brother and younger brother knew. But when my ex family was dying, his brainless brother even told my ex family that my ex was gay. I still can't forget the tearful expression on my former father-in-law, who was in pain on the hospital bed. In order to take care of the overall situation, I came forward to vouch for him again. He is definitely not GAY, I am his wife and I have the final say! After the death of my former father-in-law, and the news that he has been confirmed to have HIV, I feel very helpless about my life. Helpless can only cry in the quilt. After everything subsided, I also adjusted my mentality. Since it is a fact, I will accept it, live my life well, and let him treat his illness well. I also tried to communicate with him, can you be honest with me, where did your HIV come from, because I don't like this kind of question mark always in my heart. It's so hard these days. But he didn't make any response, just kept responding and didn't know. When I thought I was back to normal days, another wave came (God didn't want to let me go.

One day he had a sudden stomach pain and had to be sent to the hospital. The doctor did a detailed examination and found that his large intestine was inflamed and pus. At that time, I also told my ex-mother-in-law, why don't we confess to the doctor? Confessing that he is an HIV patient, will his condition worsen? At the moment, I was scolded by my ex-mother-in-law. You want the whole world to know that my son has a venereal disease, right? At that moment, I hated him and his family so much because I didn't agree with their non-confession. If doctors are infected with HIV because of the patient's concealment, don't we harm innocent medical staff? He was later confirmed to have crohn's disease. While he was in the hospital, I ran from work to the hospital because my mother ordered me to take care of him.

But during this period, I felt that something was wrong with him. Why was he so happy in the hospital? But that kind of ignores me. I'll ask him to talk after he is discharged from the hospital. He said to me, now I only regard you as my sister, what is the responsibility of the husband, the responsibility of marriage, don't mention any responsibility to me, I want to be myself. I play with mine, you play with yours, you have to promise me after the predecessors, we have to play a loving couple, not let my family know. Of course I don't want to accept it! By chance, I got his phone again, and I couldn't help but check my phone. At that time, he had a gastroscope in the hospital, and I was waiting in the hospital lobby. When I opened the phone, it was very exciting, there were some nasty conversations, and there were photos (naked ones too). At that time, I was dumbfounded, tears kept flowing, and people passing by thought that I should be a dead person in my family!

At this moment, I bravely told him that I was going to divorce! I even gave him a slap, and he slapped me back! The reason is that he said I checked his phone! He is very disgusted! Is it a guilty conscience? He has his own mind. Fortunately, I was smart and I photographed all his chat records as evidence, but I have not disclosed the evidence to this day, and the divorce was also brought up by myself and his mother. At that time his mother almost killed me because she thought I was leaving because his son was sick. She forced me to hand over evidence to prove that his son was gay, but I only told her that this is the last dignity I left to your son. As a wife, I can't accept it, let alone you are her mother? (Do you want me to show his fucking conversation about dating someone naked? Impossible).

Maybe God wanted me to escape from this unusual relationship. My life was not easy after the divorce because his family asked me to hide the truth, their son is normal and I made a fuss. So far, I have not explained the reasons for my divorce to anyone. The story is left to them. The perpetrator looks more pitiful than the victim, and deserves more sympathy from others. This is my realization. Everyone who knows us thinks that the fault lies with me, I am too strong, I bully him, I abandon him.

This experience has cast a huge shadow on me emotionally and physically. I don't have the courage to love again because my ex has HIV, which makes me feel like I'm at risk of infection too, and I don't want to hurt other people. After I established that I would never believe in love again, God let me meet my current partner. I love him, and after meeting him, I have a clear understanding of what love is. But when it comes to dating the current one, I hold back. (1) I am inferior to my status as divorced, and (2) I do not want to harm him. I confessed all my past to him and gave him my test report. I am healthy and safe. Due to the sense of responsibility, I also confessed my past to my current mother, because I didn't want to hide it, I didn't want to cheat, and I was mentally prepared. In case my current mother doesn't approve of our relationship, I will separate from him.

Perhaps it was God's mercy. I met a very kind family. My lover's mother's reaction was beyond my expectations. She was very distressed about my experience, and she also told me that she advised me not to be under pressure. Their family is very open-minded. In this article, I have to thank my lover, he is a mature and steady man, the only shortcoming is that he has a hot temper. He also accompanied me on the way to receive psychological counseling, and he was also accompanied by me to the laboratory for the last HIV test. It took me three years to escape the shadow of HIV. If I hadn't met my incumbent, maybe I wouldn't have survived today. My current position teaches me that people are only hurting your feelings, not your father's enemy, and it will not be easy for you to live your life with hatred. Let it go and live your life well. Time will prove everything.

For the past few weeks, I've seen travel notes from my ex, his boyfriend, and his mother on social media. I also heard from friends that his mother was forced to acquiesce. After all, it is better to have multiple sons than to lose one of your own. This sentence reminds me of my lover's saying that time proves everything. I don't carry any hatred and I won't give any explanation. People who understand me will naturally believe me. At the same time, I do not allow people to sympathize with me with pity.

All the bad things are over, now it's important that I treat my anxiety well, because the doctor diagnosed that I have too many after-effects.

Before closing, I want to thank my love for rewriting my memory with love.

Thank you for making me feel loved, and thank you for always taking care of me as a daughter.

I am also very grateful to my loved one's family for their love and tolerance for me. Hope we will all be well.

I would also like to thank my lover's friends, who love me very much.

All things happen for a reason, and it is often the case that Sai Weng loses his horse and is not a blessing!

Don't be afraid to get divorced, don't be afraid to ask for help, you are not strong, you want to show weakness to someone!