What do you think when you meditate on "the rich raise the daughter, the poor raise the child"?

This morning, I chatted with my precious Sagittarius mom, Tingting, about the pressures and hardships facing modern women. One of the things that popped into my head is the "parenting challenge" . I believe that the older generation of feudal ideology did have a patriarchal concept, but today's parents have just the opposite. I believe that modern parents are more eager to have daughters, and most parenting concepts are "In the future, I must raise my daughters rich and my sons poor! 』

Reminds me of a Chinese anecdote I saw yesterday on Facebook. The content is that a woman did not say: YES! I DO because she was not satisfied that her boyfriend only proposed in a very ordinary restaurant. According to reports, the wedding arrangement was very simple, but the man had prepared a diamond ring and the woman accepted the ring at the moment, but she refused to agree to the proposal because she felt that the scene of the proposal was not the ideal she imagined. The boy also explained that all his savings have been used to buy diamond rings. But afterwards, the woman still asked the man to make up for her a romantic marriage proposal according to her request. Unexpectedly, the man broke up with the woman two days later.

Have you noticed that there are more and more news content similar to the above in the society? Is there something wrong with our educational philosophy? I'm not a mother, just wanted to share a personal opinion. After the so-called concept of raising daughters was born, it did nurture a lot of the next generation who admired vanity and only paid attention to appearance and material things. 'My future ambition is to give high! rich! handsome! ' This sentence should sound familiar, but please return to reality after waking up from the dream. It is no wonder that modern parents are afraid of having a son because they are worried that they will not be able to pay the astronomical betrothal gift in the future~ That only happens in the plot. I believe that many parents have misunderstood the concept of raising daughters richly and sons poor.

This morning, I also saw reports from China that young people in modern times borrowed loan sharks to buy luxury cars . Isn't this a big swollen face punching a fat man? When something like this happens, it seems to me that the source of the problem should be the responsibility of the educator. The so-called rich nourishment is spiritual, thinking rather than material nourishment . A child is born like a blank sheet of paper. What parents write on the so-called blank sheet and what kind of education they instill will profoundly affect the child's character in dealing with others and doing things in the future. I very much agree that daughters must be well-bred, but only in terms of upbringing. Parents should educate their daughters that they must strive to get what they want instead of craving charity from others, especially emotionally.

Presumably everyone will agree that modern marriages are very fragile, and it is often heard that this artist has divorced, that artist has an extramarital affair, etc. On the contrary, women in previous eras married chickens with chickens, and dogs with dogs. How could they have the courage to file for divorce casually? The main reason is that women in the past were rarely financially independent and did not have the opportunity to start a career . All living expenses were paid by their husbands, and they did not have the courage to leave even if the marriage was not satisfactory. For the sake of life, for the sake of the children, we must swallow our voices. So modern parents should educate their daughters that they must be " economically independent women" . If there are some financial problems in the small family in the future, we are also able to help.

I think the most important point is that a woman who is financially independent does not need to ask for money from another partner , and does not need to be a general , and does not need to be compelled to look at her face, especially the living expenses for parents, or medical expenses. Often these trivial expenses will become the last straw that crushes the marriage . Let's compare our hearts, we can't ask another partner to support our family together! remember! A man is marrying you, not your whole family! Unless he is really financially capable, he is really facing a lot of financial pressure. Especially in this inflationary society, it is not easy for a single-income family. And women must learn to drive! You must learn to control the steering wheel yourself and go wherever you want!

Modern women pay great attention to the " sense of ritual" , but in fact these rituals need to be paid for with money . Bouquets, bags, restaurants, it's all about money! money! money! Then if your other partner is just a working family, if you can't afford these expenses, will you choose to break up? So do you love him, or do you love his money? At the same time, parents should educate their children to know how to be content and happy. Choosing another partner depends on the character and how he treats his parents. This is more practical, isn't it? In fact, women can also bring a sense of ritual and surprise to themselves, emotionally and in life, if you have the financial capacity. "Remember that what others give is reward, and what you give yourself is ability."

Another point I must stress is that parents who have daughters remember to let your daughters know not to be afraid of divorce , not to be afraid to give up wrong love, marriage, " Actually, that is not called giving up, that is responsible for your own life! 』 On this point, I do often refute my mother's statement, and I will tell her that if you didn't tell me to swallow it up before, you have to be obedient and obedient, or people will say that your parents can't teach children. If it wasn't for the education of my family of origin, I wouldn't have to wait so late to learn to fight back and learn to protect myself. Remember, daughters are also the meat of their parents, your sons are treasures, and other people's daughters are also the jewels of the family. The most important thing for a woman is to know how to protect and love herself.

As for parents with sons, Li Nian, who raises a son in poverty , does not mean that you have to keep him hungry and clothed. None of these ideas have anything to do with money. The so-called poor support is that the son must be trained from an early age and ' endure hardship' . For example, it is very simple to help with household chores. Doing housework is not women's, not mother's patent is not their responsibility. We often hear that I just helped my mom tidy up the house! I just helped my wife do the dishes! Actually this is not help! Home doesn't belong only to your mother or your wife. As long as you are part of the family, you have the responsibility to share the housework, regardless of gender.

In addition, parents should let boys face setbacks bravely, whether in work, relationship, or marriage . I believe that the mantra of many bosses now is: Alas, modern boys can't bear hardships, they are not as hard-working as we used to be, and they are willing to work overtime, and all they need is overtime pay! On the contrary, he would lose his temper after saying a few words and leave! I once heard a mother say that it is our responsibility to raise a child and help him marry a wife! I rolled my eyes to outer space when I heard it! Does that mean your son's son (grandson) will be raised by you in the future? So how does your son take up the responsibility of a man? What's more, another mother told me that my son's character is much weaker than yours, and you are so strong, you should help him deal with it! It is simply incomprehensible that only such parents would educate a son who ruined the happiness of other people's daughters.

When I first came into contact with my lover's home education, I was both surprised and delighted. Because he was taught from a young age that he must be able to do housework, and he does housework better and more carefully than me. Sweeping, mopping, washing toilets, washing and drying clothes, washing air-conditioning filters, etc. are all done by him at home. He even joked with me that you can rest assured that you don't have to do anything in the future, and he will handle everything for you! Even my nobles say that if you meet another partner like this, you can really marry. Ha ha! Looking at it from another angle, just like I mentioned in my previous article, if there is only one child in the family, and the parents are not willing to let him do anything, who will take care of you when you get old? Think about it~ This idea of a very likely son will become that I have to quickly marry a wife (maid) and come back to help me with the housework. Many marriages will face the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law because the mother is unwilling to let go and participate in the son's life. For them, no matter how old the son is, he will always be a child in their hearts. Mothers-in-law will expect daughters-in-law to treat and serve their sons in the same meticulous manner as she does. I believe that very few women in modern times will eat a set.

Today is a society where men and women are equal. If both men and women can maintain the same pace, grow together, and advance and retreat together, I believe that many family and social problems can be reduced. In a family, both husbands and wives should cherish each other's contributions and praise each other occasionally, just to say that it's hard work! Such a family atmosphere will be harmonious and happy.

The important thing I must stress three times: Education matters! Education is important! Education is important!

It doesn't matter whether you have a boy or a girl, as long as you are safe and healthy.

As long as it is our children, we have the responsibility to take responsibility for education!

I wish all readers who are destined to have a happy family.