A letter to my 30 year old self

I will be 30 years old at the end of September, and I am still a social animal working hard in the workplace. In terms of quality of life, I am quite satisfied, but in terms of work, it is somewhat unsatisfactory and helpless. I believe this is the experience everyone has. . Before today, I seemed to be a person who floated and sank on the sea and followed the waves. I knew in my heart what my ideals were, but I would be hit by strong winds and waves from time to time, and gradually I lacked the courage to work hard. Fight, retreat and stay in the comfort zone, but it is more terrible to stay in the comfort zone (it is indeed very comfortable, yes).

And today, 09/01/2022, I want to write this diary to record it, the reason is very simple, I am leaving!

I believe that today's choice is the right one, and I am proud of my actions, and at the same time, I will be responsible for the choices I make. It can be said that I acted impulsively, and left the company without the time to hand over. I admit that I have not yet reached the level of "forbearance", but I have reached the point where I can't bear it, so I have to attack by any means.

The story should start from half a year ago, because I am currently working in the United States, and the visa I got is a student visa (OPT STEM), the H1B in the first year, I did not have the opportunity to draw, the H1B in the second year, unfortunately I did not I have been working in this company for more than two years. I have discussed the visa issue with the supervisor several times, but there is no positive answer. Instead, I delay tactics and treat it coldly. Therefore, I quantified my contribution in the company and made a self-recommendation. I asked my supervisor if he could help me apply for a green card. This time, I made it clear that I needed a result. This is part of life risk management, and I have to do it. Stop loss.

In the end, as I expected, the company said it was unwilling to help me apply for a green card. I also accepted this fact. I also knew very well that the company's attitude was that it was unwilling to help, so I chose to leave after two days.

Also, the company is clearly a listed company, but there is obviously a problem with internal management. The turnover rate of employees has always been high. The gossip among colleagues is that XXX has gone and XXX has come back. Therefore, I feel that I need to speak up for myself. Let the top know the thinking of the grassroots, also need to let them know that the company is so unfriendly to employees. So, when I told myself that I was leaving, I wrote a letter to the CEO. Of course, I was still treated coldly, but at least the CEO sent the CFO to have chicken soup with my soul. This is the only place where I feel human. I am very Thank you CFO for your time and sharing; on the other hand, at least this letter has some emotional ups and downs for these social animals, and I think it's worth it!

In this company for more than two years, I have met many unkind people, but I also met many good colleagues, working and cooperating happily together. These memories are more valuable assets than salary.

A while ago, I was watching a Netflix documentary, and there was a little brother who inherited the family business and bought Taco. He shared a story:

"He used to work for a well-known company, but what he did was work for grassroots employees. Once his friend asked him, "What are you doing here?" Wow! This deeply pierced my heart, and I asked myself, What am I doing here? I couldn't answer this question with confidence. I also don't want me to regret having spent so long in this company and wasting my life when I get old.

I hope that I can turn my grief and anger into strength, and when I meet a good job and a good colleague, I believe I can do it.