【完全不討喜詩評:Fricatives】"Nobody wants to listen to a spectacled boy with a Hong Kong accent",包括這首詩
讀過幾次 Fricatives ,覺得這首詩獲獎是無可厚非,但最有玩味的是,它獲獎的原因正是它的主題,That’s submission。
這首詩充滿「性」含義,但大多數人只敢提到其中的身份/種族/移民的內涵,不敢提到性,究竟是什麼原因,書生就不去猜測;但這首詩聰明或好玩的地方,正是「性」和「身份/種族/移民」的含義一再互通,也一再指涉同一主題:
"Fresh yellow grains beaten till their seeds spill. That’s threshing.",這是第一次出現的性隱喻,它描述了種族,描述了 19 年歷史的暴力,也描述了「性」(打飛機)。但這句幾乎沒有情緒宣洩,可以說作者/主角的情感糾結還在雛型,也正如主角仍在初學擦音 (Fricatives) 一樣。
去到第二次性隱喻出現:"You’re lucky enough to care about how the tongue moves, the seven types of fricatives, the articulatory function of teeth sans survival.",這句也是語帶相關,可以理解成有空閒學習更刁鑽的擦音技巧,也可以理解成有空閒學習更刁鑽的口交技巧,但無論是學習哪一種技巧,都出於「 lucky」,可以逃過 19 年歷史的厄運。作者在這裡的情感亦開始顯露, "lucky" 一詞帶著倖存者明顯的內疚和自嘲。
去到第三次出現: "You will take a stranger’s cock in your mouth in the piss-slick stall of that dingy Cantonese restaurant you love and taste where you came from, what you were made of all along. Put some work into it, he growls.",這已經相當直白,也可以說是「學習」(成為當地人)已經完成,主角選擇了完全屈服,所以才會用直描的方式直接展露自己卑微的一面,在骯髒的餐廳裡給陌生人口交;但令人諷刺的是,亦因為從異地人的雞巴裡,才能更嚐到自己是什麼人(從哪裡來,由什麼組成)的味道。
到最後一次性隱喻,"Steamed, perfect, white.",主角似乎已經完全融入了當地,成為了真正的英國人,因此他帶母親到「會與陌生人口交」的餐廳,並不感羞恥,看著五年前被捕學生釋放,亦沒有多少感受,只冷冷要了碟醬油及不耐煩說「電視又重播」,他徹底變成了 "Steamed, perfect, white" 的當地人。
性一再出現的過程,同時也意味主角學習成為外國人、去掉「過去身份」的過程;但如果說學習是為了成長,那麼主角的成長就是一再屈從的過程:You must learn to submit before you can learn ,通過不斷服從屈從,才能學習到最好的擦音(性)技巧,也才能成為真正的當地人,也因而才能被人聆聽——"You must be given a voice before you can speak. Nobody wants to listen to a spectacled boy with a Hong Kong accent"。
因此, Fricatives 是 sex,也是 Submission。當我們說得獎者是「香港人的驕傲」時,其實是充滿黑色幽默與諷刺,因為作者正是在自嘲(或描述)在這學習「去香港化」(移民離港,去掉自己過去口音和身份,最終成為當地人)的屈從過程中,他充滿了內疚、卑微到犬儒。
為了排解這種複雜的情緒,作者選擇了寫詩,同時他也在真實中選擇了某種屈從:如果他用華文而非英文寫上這首詩,就 Nobody wants to listen to a spectacled boy with a Hong Kong accent,亦拿不到這項詩獎,讓那麼多人認識。
但作者並非完沒有自覺,在訪問中他就提到沒能用母語書寫香港人的故事感到內疚。問題是內疚之外,還可以是什麼?在全詩中似乎找不到答案,反而看到後來主角越漸變成犬儒的過程。
也許越容易變成犬儒的人,原本就是越聰明的人。作者在詩中使用的技巧就充滿機智,像一開始玩的 "F-" 和 "Th-" 三次轉變 (Three-Free、Fought-Thought、Fresh-Thresh) ,一看就令人會心微笑,極富趣味。在詩之外,作者的真實成長也同樣印證他的聰穎:讀名校喇沙, DSE 七科 5**,到海外讀劍橋經濟系,是典型精英的成長之路。
但在這成長的過程中,作者又有多少 must learn to submit?如果說詩是展現詩人最真實的一面,那麼詩代表著作者其實相當自覺,但始終沒有提到如何超越一面。當然,最後主角仍然願意飲茶吃白飯,會不會隱喻著他亦遺留最後一點回望的空間給自己,故事其實仍未完結?
無論如何,這首詩確實符合英國人的口味(無論是從語言、角度還是故事本身),但始終無法打動到書生,因為不論成長背景還是未來的路、情感甚至其聰穎,我與作者的距離都相去甚遠,難有共鳴。但更重要的,是一種不由自主要替香港詩人喊點委屈的情感——雖然他們也許沒有。
在書生眼中,香港詩人一直都很出色,甚至認為香港人寫的新詩絕對能在華文世界(甚至國際)中佔有一席位。當然,這並非出於什麼嚴謹的研究,只是一種觀察,或者說是一種情感。
但總是令人惋惜的是,為什麼香港有那麼多好詩,卻一直無法成為普遍香港人喜歡和欣賞的對象?也許 "Nobody wants to listen to a spectacled boy with a Hong Kong accent" 中的 "Nobody " ,不只是指英國人,更是指香港人?
誠然,香港人能獲得外國詩獎,這自然值得高興;香港人寫英文詩,也有助把香港人的詩推出國際。但由於無法知道作者以前是 fought 還是 thought 的位置,我更想關心的是在過去到現在,仍然為香港寫詩的詩人,他們是真正的 fighter,通過不能明言的詩,fight for threedom,stand wif hong kong 。
最後,也必須坦承與自嘲一下,如果這首詩沒獲獎,書生也不會寫這個詩評。That’s submission.
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全詩:Eric Yip, 《Fricatives》
To speak English properly, Mrs. Lee said, you must learn
the difference between three and free. Three men
escaped from Alcatraz in a rubber raft and drowned
on their way to Angel Island. Hear the difference? Try
this: you fought your way into existence. Better. Look
at this picture. Fresh yellow grains beaten
till their seeds spill. That’s threshing. That’s
submission. You must learn to submit
before you can learn. You must be given
a voice before you can speak. Nobody wants to listen
to a spectacled boy with a Hong Kong accent.
You will have to leave this city, these dark furrows
stuffed full with ancestral bones. Know
that death is thorough. You will speak of bruised bodies
skinnier than yours, force the pen past batons
and blood, call it fresh material for writing. Now
they’re paying attention. You’re lucky enough
to care about how the tongue moves, the seven types
of fricatives, the articulatory function of teeth
sans survival. You will receive a good education
abroad and make your parents proud. You will take
a stranger’s cock in your mouth in the piss-slick stall
of that dingy Cantonese restaurant you love and taste
where you came from, what you were made of all along.
Put some work into it, he growls. C’mon, give me
some bite. Your mother visits one October, tells you
how everyone speaks differently here, more proper.
You smile, nod, bring her to your favourite restaurant,
order dim sum in English. They’re releasing
the students arrested five years ago. Just a tad more
soy sauce please, thank you. The television replays
yesterday on repeat. The teapots are refilled. You spoon
served rice into your mouth, this perfect rice.
Steamed, perfect, white.
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