Travelling: finding answers or running away from the problems.

Today is the last day of my summer break.

For months, I travelled around different places and kept changing various lifestyles during the journey. First, I am grateful that I have had so many opportunities to allow me to step out and see the world. Just like what the host mentioned in the podcast called 獨樹不成林 when she was talking about the meaning of travelling: she had this privilege to reflect the meaning of her experiences after travelling around the world for years. Inspired by her podcast, I have started to review what I experienced during the past few months.

The intention of frequently travelling in my summer break was simply based on one belief: I wanted to "escape" the life I had and find other possibilities.

This thought motivated me to sign up for many cross-cities learning opportunities and study tours. I did enjoy the progress of leaving the old place, and started to feel the stimulation brought by different cultural contents and geological locations. Slowly, I had better sleep quality and rebuilt the passion for life. However, after I ended my journey and came back to where I live now. The frustration and stress that had tortured me months ago just popped up again. After that, I started to think: what does travelling mean to me?

Travelling is a kind of activity that is romanticized by social media and youth trends nowadays. The quote "brave people enjoy their lives first" has had a massive influence on the internet in recent years. The so-called "nomadic life" caught my eye and became my new dream: I want to try new things and forget every pain and struggle I have by keeping in touch with unfamiliar environments, people and stuff.

Personally, I had a lot of fun in my travel experiences, but not many personal changes as I thought I would be able to have before I started trips: I didn't become as independent, self-aware and mature as I thought I could be. I didn't wash my heart and win a brand new life. I did solve my anxiety and depression, temporarily, thanks to the busy schedules I had when I lived in other cities.

But right now, coming back home, I have to honestly face the fact that I just used travelling as a tool to escape from the real problems and tasks waiting for me to solve in my life, rather than tackling them. That is the reason why I feel terrible now and even do not want to end my "adventure". What's more, I suspect the decisions I made.

Yesterday, one of my friends told me that she had started her trips in Hong Kong for nearly a week. As a local, she lived in this land for almost 20 years, but found a way to use a special perspective to look at her hometown. Saving money for hotels and plane tickets, she made a travel plan and discovered corners of Hong Kong.

This reminds me of another opinion: travelling is going to another place to live a life that others are tired of. Living in our daily lives, we have our standard routines almost everyday. Maybe living in a place for years, there are still many scenarios we have never seen and many people we have never met.

If the object is "escaping the ordinary", why can I achieve it except by travelling?

All in all, it is clear that I am unsatisfied with the condition I am in now. Unfortunately, I want to find a new path, but don't know where to go. Optimistically, I believe that every road I walk has its meaning. It just takes time for me to feel their influences.