靈氣的骨牌反應 - 治癒的漣漪效應 Reiki Dominoes - The Ripple Effect of Healing
靈氣的骨牌反應 - 治癒的漣漪效應 Reiki Dominoes - The Ripple Effect of Healing
勞雷爾蓋亞 Laurelle Gaia
當我還是個孩子的時候，我對多米諾骨牌很著迷，那些黑色的長方形小塑料片上有圓點。我承認我從來沒有真正對這個遊戲充滿熱情，但我喜歡看到它們排成一排，彎曲，揮動，起伏的前進。他們會站得那麼結實，那麼筆直，就好像他們可以永遠站立一樣。然後突然之間，哪怕是最輕微的敲擊，它們會一個接一個，有條不紊地全部倒下。
我開始意識到這很像治愈的過程，以及它對我們的生活和我們身邊的人產生的連鎖反應。當一個人受傷或生病時，他們生活中的其他人也會受到影響。
解釋我的意思的最好方式就是分享我的個人經歷。多年來，我非常有選擇性地與客戶和學生分享了這一點，當時我覺得這可能對某人有所幫助。然而，直到這一刻，我才感到有靈感將它寫下。這是一個從童年性虐待中治癒的故事，但它遠不止於此，讓我們意識到我們的個人經歷會如何在我們所有的關係中產生連鎖反應。這也是一個關於靈氣如何將理解、愛和同情帶回家庭的故事。
我的故事要從我父親小時候說起。他有一個哥哥。我父親是一個非常有創造力、才華橫溢的人，在他的人生中取得了相當大的成功。而我伯伯是個普通人，很多人認為他有點奇怪。他們在中西部的經濟大蕭條時期長大，這個家庭的日子過得很艱難。當我回顧我即將與你們分享的事件時，我意識到我的伯伯有一些非常深刻的缺乏自我價值的感覺，最終發展成對我父親的強烈嫉妒。我的伯伯從未結婚，也沒有親密的伴侶關係，也沒有孩子。
我是三個孩子中的老大，四歲時被伯伯性侵。多年來，我感到羞愧和恐懼並陷入了沉默。我被告知不可以告訴任何人，因為“如果你說了，沒有人會相信你，你會因說謊而受到懲罰。” “如果你告訴了你父親，他永遠不會相信你，因為你只是個小女孩。我是他的兄弟，他會相信我的。”所以我保守了這個可怕的秘密很多很多年，直到有一天，我 12 歲了，我叔叔試圖說服我讓我的弟弟一起參與進來。我拒絕了，並威脅我要將這些說出去，然後這種侵犯就停止了......
我想。我開始隱蔽我對它的想法。一切都結束了，我鬆了一口氣，隨著時間的流逝，它被隱蔽的越來越深，直到記憶逐漸消失。
多米諾骨牌開始倒塌 The Dominoes Begin to Fall
我從小就覺得我無法和父母談論我的恐懼，因為我認為他們不會相信我。 我經常對自己說“即使我告訴他們真相，他們也永遠不會相信我”。 這種思維模式不僅適用於受到性虐待的情況，也適用於任何情況，當我需要父母的建議時，我會感到困惑或困擾。 因此，我將自己隱藏在不信任的面紗中。 當一個人不信任別人時會發生什麼？ 不信任的能量本質會滲透到整個環境和整個家庭心理中，甚至經常延伸到其他人。
19歲那年，我的父母離異，母親撫養弟弟妹妹。幾年後，我父親搬到了阿根廷，基本上與我們疏遠了近 20 年。
時間流逝……我 30 多歲時，剛接觸靈氣並經營電腦繪圖的工作。我結了婚，養了四個孩子。我當時是一個工作狂、瘋媽媽，且完全無視我自己的個人需求。
我逐漸開始意識到，有時我會表現出憤怒、恐懼或無法控制的哭泣，這似乎是毫無根據的。我開始質疑這種行為。我只是不明白，因為它與我所知道的我的本性不同。我對此感到非常苦惱，所以我決定嘗試使用靈氣來幫助我理解這一切。我先從遠距離治療符號開始。然後我提出了問題，比如“我為什麼會這樣？為什麼我這麼容易生氣？為什麼我哭得這麼厲害？”等等。當我說出我的問題時，我會將靈氣能量導入我自己，進入我的能量場，靜靜地坐著。
我繼續過著正常的日常生活，但有時我會發現自己會有不尋常的想法。例如，我記得我四歲生日時從伯伯那裡收到的一把搖椅。我記得生日蛋糕上有四根蠟燭，以及其他與我四歲時生活有關的片段印象。我花了一段時間才了解，然後我的腦海裡會突然冒出一個問題：“我為什麼會想到在四歲的這些事情？”我一直忙於生活，以至於我實際上忘記了我一直在向我的行為與問題發送靈氣。
然後我有一個“啊哈（靈光乍現）”的時刻，並意識到這可能就是我的答案。所以下一步是給自己四歲的時候傳送靈氣。我發現了一張我五歲時的照片，我打算用它來代表我四歲時的樣子。我使用遠距符號通過照片將靈氣發送給四歲的我。這就像有人將鎖中的鑰匙轉動後來到了隱藏記憶的門口。我的經歷開始浮現，我知道發生了什麼。我知道我無法解釋的行為源於我多年來一直壓抑的憤怒和恐懼。我不必重新體驗所有細節。我所需要的只是幫助我理解的線索。
在給我的童年送去靈氣幾週後，我突然對我伯伯非常非常生氣。他在我 20 多歲的時候就去世了。 “他怎麼敢在我面對他之前就死掉！”是我當時的想法。我不知道還能做什麼，所以我將靈氣發送給我的伯伯的靈魂。一天晚上，我經歷了一次非常強大的體驗，在那裡我遇到了我的叔叔，在那個介於清醒和做夢之間的特殊療愈場所。通過我們在那裡的經歷，在靈氣的幫助下，我的憤怒瞬間變成了慈悲。也許有一天我會寫下這個。但是，就目前而言，就讓我們先看著更多的多米諾骨牌倒下。
幾年後，媽媽和姑姑來看我。不知何故，媽媽和我陷入了情感的時間扭曲，那時我 15 歲，而當時她是一個十幾歲孩子的母親。我正在重述我和父親一起度過的艱難時刻之一，我媽媽有點退縮，說“我不想談論那個”。突然，40多歲的我，轉變成15歲的孩子，突然情緒爆發，衝出房間，在我的呼吸中喃喃自語......“這就是這個家庭的問題，沒有人願意談論他們需要說的話”！然後這個大壩決堤了，我們聊了起來，聊了很多年前我們應該聊的事情。並公開了受到性虐事情。我和我的姐姐與兄弟交談，我寫信給我的父親。我了解到我姐姐和弟弟記得的其他虐待行為。我的父親和母親為沒有意識到當時正在發生的事情而道歉。漸漸地，在許多靈氣的幫助下，溝通的管道變得更加緊密。
你看，我的伯伯就像多米諾骨牌，我們都排在他身後。他倒下，我倒下，隨著溝通的線路被破壞了，恐懼不斷蔓延，我們都倒下了。
但是，這還不是故事的結局。在肯塔基州農村的一家養老院，某一天。我坐在祖母的床邊。由於中風，她已經昏迷了幾個月。很長一段時間她只通過靜脈注射，沒有其他營養來維持她的生命。醫生、護士和服務員都無法理解她是怎麼活了這麼久的。就好像她還有什麼未完成的東西懸掛在她的身上。很長一段時間以來，我每天都要去拜訪她，每次拜訪時我都會給她靈氣。那一天有些不同。我呼喚靈氣並祈禱她能夠找到她所尋求的平靜。突然我意識到靈氣的能量實際上可以透過我的祈禱而流通。我的祖母非常虔誠，耶穌就是她的一切。我在流淌的祈禱中感謝她是一個如此出色的人。她為很多人做了很多好事，上帝非常愛她。她不需要對其他人所做的任何造成傷害的事情負責。
就在那一瞬間，我意識到我的祖母知道我叔叔和他的病。她知道我受虐的事，她因當時無所作為而感到內疚。靈氣幫助我真正感受到她的折磨和痛苦。我感受到她的恐懼，以及她對兒子、我和其他孩子的愛。我對她沒有採取行動阻止虐待的決定，都化為深切的同情和無條件的愛。
片刻之後，當這個昏迷了幾個月的甜美女人睜開了雙眼，並直視我的眼睛時，靈氣開始流動。她說得清清楚楚，問道：“那些拿著紅蠟燭的人是誰？”不假思索，靈氣再次開始以文字的形式出現，它說的是“那些是來帶你回到耶穌身邊的天使”。祖母平靜地嘆了口氣，微笑著閉上了眼睛，我看到第一縷生命力離開了她的身體。三天后，她完成了她生命的轉變。
奶奶是那排多米諾骨牌中的最後一個，但她沒有陷入恐懼，而是釋放了內疚，感受到了神聖的愛，變得平靜，優雅地離開了這個世界。
我將永遠感激靈氣幫助我治愈個人生活的一切。感謝靈氣鼓勵我寫這篇文章，因為我知道讀它的人會明白，沒有什麼是靈氣無法治癒的，只要我們願意接受我們的挑戰作為祝福，找到所有的愛我們的經歷，讓我們的療愈波及這個世界。
在造物主的光中...
我們只看到愛
延伸閱讀：
Reiki Dominoes - The Ripple Effect of Healing
by Laurelle Gaia
When I was a child, I was fascinated by dominoes, those little black rectangular pieces of plastic with the dots on them. I will admit I was never really enthused by the actual game, but I loved to see them lined up, in curving, waving, undulating rows. They would stand so sturdily, and so straight, as if they could stand forever. Then all of a sudden, with even the tiniest tap, one by one, methodically they would all fall down.
I have come to realize that this is much like the healing process and the ripple effect it has on our life and those who are close to us. When one person is hurt, or ill, the other people in their life are affected as well.
The best way that I can explain what I mean, is by sharing a personal experience. I have shared this very selectively with clients and students over the years, when I felt it might help someone. However, not until this moment have I felt inspired to write about it. This is a story of healing from childhood sexual abuse, but it goes far beyond that, into developing an awareness of how our personal experiences have a ripple effect in all our relationships. It is also a story about how Reiki can bring understanding, love, and compassion back into a family.
My story starts when my father was a child. He had an older brother. My father is a very creative, and brilliant man, and has been quite successful in his life. My uncle was an average sort of fellow, many thought him to be a little odd. They grew up during the depression in the Midwest, and times were very hard for the family. As I look back on the events that I am about to share with you, I realize that my uncle had some very deep feelings of lack of self worth that eventually developed into intense jealousy of my father. My uncle never married or had an intimate partnership, or any children.
I am the eldest of three children, at age four I was sexually assaulted by my uncle. I was shamed and frightened into silence for many years. I was instructed to tell no one because "If you tell, no one will believe you and you will be punished for lying." and "If you tell your father, he will never believe you, because you are just a little girl. I'm his brother and he will believe me." I kept this horrid secret for many, many years, and the abuse continued until one day, when I was 12, and my uncle tried to convince me to involve my little brother. I refused, and threatened to tell, and the abuse stopped...
I thought. I began to block my thoughts of it. I was so relieved it was over, and over the years the blocks grew deeper and deeper, until the memories just faded away.
The Dominoes Begin to Fall
I grew up feeling like I couldn't talk with my parents about my fears, because I thought they wouldn't believe me. I often said to myself "Even if I do tell them the truth, they will never believe me". This thought pattern didn't just apply to the abuse situation, but to anything that arose, where I felt confused, or troubled, and needed parental advice. So, energetically I was hiding myself in a veil of mistrust. What happens when someone doesn't trust others? The energetic essence of mistrust permeates the environment, and the very psyche of the entire family, and often even extends out to others.
In my case my father felt this, and had difficulty trusting me. This caused a lot of friction between us, which led to much conflict and to experiences that do not belong in this article.
The bottom line is that I was unable to allow myself to engage in any positive, constructive communication with my parents, and I left home at age 17.
When I was 19, my parents divorced, and my mother then raised my younger brother and sister. A few years later my father moved to Argentina, and was essentially estranged from us for nearly 20 years.
Fast forward... I was in my late 30's, new to Reiki, and running a computer graphics business. I was married, and raising four children. I was a workaholic, momaholic, who was totally ignoring my own personal needs.
I gradually began to recognize that at times I would exhibit outbursts of anger, or fear, or uncontrollable crying, which seemed totally unfounded. I began to question this behavior. I simply didn't understand it, because it was different than what I had known my nature to be. I became very distressed by this, and so I decided to try using Reiki to help me understand. I simply began by invoking the distant healing symbol. I then stated questions, something like "Why am I behaving like this? Why do I get angry so easily? Why am I crying so much?", etc. When I had stated my questions I would then channel the Reiki energy into myself, and out into my energy field, and sit quietly.
I went about my normal routines, but from time to time I would find myself having unusual thoughts. For example, I remembered a rocking chair that I received from my uncle for my fourth birthday. I remembered four candles on a birthday cake, and other random thoughts related to my life at four years old. It took me awhile to catch on, and then suddenly the question popped into my head, "Why am I thinking of the events at four years old?" I had been so busy with life, that I had actually forgotten that I had been sending Reiki to my behavior issues.
I then had an "ah-HA" moment, and realized that perhaps this was leading me to my answers. So the next step was to send Reiki to myself when I was four years old. I found a picture of myself when I was about five, and I intended that it represented me at age four. I sent Reiki through the photo, using the distant symbol, to four year old me. It was like someone turned a key in a lock to a doorway of hidden memories. Glimpses of my experiences began to come back, and I knew what had happened. I knew that my unexplained behavior was rooted in the anger and fear I had repressed for all those years. I didn't have to re-live all the details. All I needed was a clue to help me understand.
After a few weeks of sending Reiki to my childhood, I suddenly became very, very angry with my uncle. He had passed away when I was in my late 20's. "How DARE he die before I can confront him!" was my thought at the time. I didn't know what else to do, so I began to send Reiki to my uncle in spirit. One night I had a very powerful experience in which I met my uncle, in that special healing place between waking and dreaming. Through the experience we had there, my anger was transformed into compassion in an instant, with the help of Reiki. Perhaps someday I will write about that. But, for now, let's watch more dominoes fall.
A few years later, my mother and my aunt were visiting me. Somehow mom and I had slipped into an emotional timewarp, where I was 15 and she was the mother of a teenager again. I was re-living one of the difficult moments I had with my father, and my mom kind of recoiled, and said "I don't want to talk about that". Suddenly the 40-something me, disguised as a 15 year old, exploded and stormed out the room, muttering under my breath... "That's what's wrong with this family, nobody ever wants to talk about what they NEED to say"! Well then the dam burst, and we talked, and talked about many of the things we should have talked about years before. The abuse was out in the open. I talked to my sister and my brother, and I wrote to my father. I learned of other abuses that my sister and brother remembered. My father and mother apologized for not recognizing what was happening. Gradually, with the help of lots of Reiki, the lines of communication have grown stronger.
You see, my uncle was like a domino, and we were all lined up behind him. When he fell, I fell, and one by one, as the lines of communication were destroyed, and the fears crept in, we all fell down.
But, that's not yet the end of the story. Fast forward one more time to one day in a nursing home in rural Kentucky. I was sitting beside my grandmother's bed. She had been in a coma for months as the result of a stroke. She had received only fluids via IV for a very long time, with no other nourishment to sustain her. The doctors, nurses and attendants could not understand how she was staying alive for so long. It was as if she had something unfinished she was hanging onto. I had been going to visit her every day for a long time and on each visit I would give her Reiki. There was something different about that particular day. I was channeling Reiki and praying that she find the peace she was seeking. Suddenly I realized that the Reiki energy was actually speaking through me in the form of a prayer. My grandmother was very religious, and Jesus was everything to her. The prayer that was flowing was thanking her for being such a wonderful person. She was being told that she did many good things for many people and that God loved her very much. She was also told that she was not responsible for anything that other people did that caused harm.
In that very instant I realized that my grandmother knew about my uncle and his illness. She knew about the abuse, and she was bound by her guilt from doing nothing about it. Reiki helped me actually feel her torment, and her pain. I felt her fear, and her love for her son, for me and for the other children. Any judgment I might have had for her not acting to prevent the abuse, dissolved into deep compassion and unconditional love.
Moments later, Reiki was flowing when this sweet woman, who had been comatose for months opened her eyes, and looked right into mine. She spoke clearly, and she asked "Who are all those people with the red candles?" Without thinking, the Reiki once again began to take the form of words and what it said was "Those are the angels who have come to take you back to Jesus". My grandmother sighed a peaceful sigh, she smiled, closed her eyes, and I saw the first wisp of life force leave her body. She completed her transition three days later.
Grandma was the last in that line of dominoes, but instead of falling in fear, she released her guilt, felt Divine love, became peace and left this world with grace.
I will be forever grateful for all that Reiki helps me heal in my personal life. I am thankful that Reiki encouraged me to write this article, because I know that someone reading it will come to understand that there is nothing that Reiki cannot heal, if we are only willing to accept our challenges as blessings, find the love in all of our experiences, and allow our healing to ripple out into the world.
In the Light of the Creator...
We See Only Love
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