甘益光的《海邊的小說家:中英文合一版》

那天，一個小說家來到了海邊...

Once upon a time, a novelist came to the seashore.

誰曾走過

虛構的海灘

或許沒人

半昏沉的餘暉

除了你的靈魂

Who has walked along

The fictional beach?

Maybe no one.

Half gloomy afterglow,

Except for your soul.

誰曾聽過

矯情的海風

或許沒人

半期待的紊亂

除了你的幻覺

Who has heard of

The hypocritical sea breeze?

Maybe no one.

Half expected disorder,

Except for your hallucination.

誰曾摸過

想像的海水

或許沒人

半透明的鹹味

除了你的慾望

Who has touched

The imaginary seawater?

Maybe no one.

Translucent saltiness,

Except for your desire.

旁白: 那天，一個小說家在海邊遇到了他的粉絲，正好這個粉絲也是個業餘的作家，於是，兩個人便聊了起來。

One day, a novelist by the sea met his fan, who happened to be an amateur writer, so the two chatted.

粉絲: 請問一下你寫小說會不會把四周圍的人也寫進去？

When you write a novel, will you also include the people around you?

作家: 有時候會，說不定哪天也會把你寫進去啊。

Sometimes I will. Maybe I'll include you in my novel next time.

粉絲: 哦，真的啊！

Oh, really?

作家: 想親耳聽我念我的小說給你聽嗎?

Do you want to hear me read my novel to you?

粉絲: 當然啊

Sure.

作家: 不久前，一個小說家在海邊認識了他一個喜歡寫作的忠實讀者，兩人興趣相似，於是便聊了起來...

Not long ago, a novelist by the sea met a loyal reader who liked to write. The two people had similar interests, so they talked.

粉絲: 不好意思，我回去拿點東西，所以遲到了，讓你久等，就是這個，我的作品，曾經發表過的，麻煩你看一下。

Sorry to keep you waiting. I went back to get something. These are my works, which have been published before. Please take a look.

(粉絲拿出他的作品)

(作家看了一下粉絲的作品)

作家: 你有寫作的天份哦。

You have a gift for writing.

粉絲: 哦，謝謝

Oh, thank you.

作家: 不過後天的努力更重要哦，不少人都有天份，但真正有成就的人卻沒幾個。

But hard work is more important. Talent alone won't make you successful.

粉絲說他最喜歡卡夫卡的小說

The fan said he liked Kafka's novels the most.

粉絲: 麻煩你看一下這一篇，是他早期的作品，看你覺得他寫得好不好?

Please take a look at this one. It is his early work. Do you think he wrote it well?

作家: 不錯啊，難道你也想當卡夫卡嗎?不過，世界上只有一個卡夫卡而已哦

Not bad. Do you want to be Kafka too? But there is only one Kafka in the world.

粉絲: 可不可以教我怎麼樣寫小說?

Can you teach me how to write a novel?

作家: 呃.....難道你不知道，文學史上傑出的小說家，他們的寫作才華，其實都不是別人教出來的?

Don't you know the greatest novelists of all time weren't taught how to write great novels?

作家: 我還是念我寫的小說給你聽好了

I'd better read my novel to you.

粉絲: 好啊

Okay.

作家: 也許能夠給你一些啟發……那天，一個得獎無數的小說家在淡海遇到了他的頭號粉絲，正好這個粉絲也是個業餘的小說家，於是，兩個人便聊了起來......

Maybe it can give you some inspiration.

One day, in Danhai, an award-winning novelist met his number one fan, who happened to be an amateur novelist, so the two chatted.

故事裡的小說家，講了另一個故事給粉絲聽

The novelist in the story told another story to the fan.

那天，一個小說家在海邊遇到他的粉絲，正好這粉絲也是個業餘的作家，於是兩個人便聊了起來

One day, a novelist by the sea met his fan, who happened to be an amateur writer, so the two chatted.

粉絲: 但這個故事你剛剛不是唸過了嗎?

But didn't you read the story a while ago?

作家: 只是開頭類似，後面是不一樣的

They are just similar in the beginning, but different in the end.

粉絲: 哦，是哦

Oh, I see.

作家: 從前從前有一個知名的小說家在......

Once upon a time, a well-known novelist...

之後，在故事裡的故事，小說家繼續講他的故事

After that, in the story within a story, the novelist continued his story.

那天，一個小說家在海邊......

One day, a novelist by the sea...

沒有啦，我剛剛，我剛剛碰到，啊怎麼跟你講我也不太曉得，反正下次見面的時候再跟你講好了，反正我今天遇到一個還蠻超搞笑的事情，反正就是還蠻好笑的我不知道怎麼講，下次，下次我們見面的時候再跟你講好不好? 明天，明天好不好?好，掰掰!

Well, I just ran into... uh, I don't know how to tell you. I think I'll tell you when we meet next time. Anyway, a very funny thing happened to me today. It's pretty funny. I don't know how to say it. Next time when we meet, okay? Tomorrow, okay? Bye!

不是後設小說

It Isn't Metafiction

(雨中車裡望向車窗外之鏡頭)

Man: 你不屑寫實的大地

身上長滿魔幻的枝葉

The land you disdain for realism is covered with magical branches and leaves.

超現實的悲傷吟詠詩詞

在你身體邊緣

與戲劇一起晃動

The chanting of surreal sadness sways with drama on the edge of your body.

望著意識流裡的孤島

上面潛伏後設陰影

Look at the isolated island in the stream of consciousness that lurks in the meta shadow.

你頭髮的荒謬

不再埋身自然

The absurdity of your hair is no longer buried in nature.

散文歲月誕生在朦朧午後

Prose days are born in the hazy afternoon.

反小說的異類

浪漫地向古典神采告別

The atypical antinovel romantically bids farewell to classical glamour.

你的史詩不斷地懇求我

為虛幻落淚

Your epic keeps begging me to cry for the illusion.

May: 下次可不可以寫一篇後設小說?

Could you write metafiction next time?

Man: 你的堂姊兼忠實讀者這個建議還不錯，於是你開始寫你的後設小說。

Your cousin, also your loyal reader, had a good suggestion, so you started writing your metafiction.

Man: 這篇後設小說是寫一個貧窮的小作家在創作的一篇後設小說裡，安排他的讀者去小說提到的古蹟參觀，之後卻消失在古蹟裡。

The metafiction was about a poor minor writer who let his readers visit the historic sites in his metafiction, but they vanished into thin air later. 

Lady: 咦，這是古蹟嗎?

What? Is this a historic site?

Man: 當然不是，這叫對比。

Of course not. It's called contrast.

Lady: 哦，是哦，不早講。嗯，其實是不倫不類!

Oh, is it? You should've told me earlier. It's actually bizarre and far-fetched.

Man: 你說什麼?

What did you say?

Lady: 沒有啊

Nothing.

Lady: 奇怪，小說裡到底是幾個讀者去了幾個古蹟?

Strange. How many readers and historic sites are there in the story?

Man: 這不重要，重點在於讀者消失後，根本沒人在乎，大家還是照常過自己的日子

It's not important. The point is that after the readers disappeared, no one cared at all, and everyone still lived their lives as usual.

Lady: 誰會去管沒人認識的讀者

Who cares about readers that no one knows?

Man: 所以這篇小說也是在講冷漠

So the novel is also about indifference.

Lady: 我覺得你的小說只是愛說教而已

I think your novel lectured too much.

Man: 她不是卡夫卡啦，可以讓她進去城堡嗎?

She is not Kafka. Could you let her get into the castle?

Lady: 我猜她進去之後就會消失

I guess she'll disappear when she gets in.

Man: 不會吧

I don't think so.

鏡文學推薦排行榜第一名《不是後設小說》

"It Isn't Metafiction" topped the recommendation chart on Mirror

Fiction.

Man: 她看完整篇小說，嘆了一口氣。

She read the entire novel and sighed.

Lady: 唉，你怎麼會這麼寫小說呢?

Oh, how could you write a novel like that?

Man: 怎麼了?

What's wrong?

Lady: 要是我的話，就不會安排作者跟讀者同時出現，還有，為什麼故事最後，讀者會消失在古蹟裡呢?而且居然也不交代到底有沒有死，開放式的結尾真的有那麼好嗎?我對於這篇小說的氛圍也有意見。

If I were the author, I wouldn't let the writer and the reader show up at the same time. Also, why did the reader disappear from the historic site at the end of the story? And the author didn't even explain if the reader was dead. Is the open ending really that good? I also have an opinion on the atmosphere of this novel.

Man: 哦，是嗎?

Oh, yeah?

Lady: 這實在太感傷了，我讀完以後一直想哭

This is too sad. I felt like crying after I read it.

Man: 有什麼好哭的，消失不見的人又不是你

Why do you want to cry? It's not you who disappeared.

Lady: 好冷哦

Bad joke.

Man: 我又沒有講笑話，怎麼會冷?

It isn't a joke. How could it be bad?

既然有人不喜歡這個故事，你便嘗試寫另外一篇。

Since someone didn't like the story, you tried to write another one.

這個故事要從一個離家出走的人說起，他也說不清楚為什麼自己要翹家，他表示原因並不重要，反正，他是回不去了。

This story starts with a person who ran away from home. He couldn't explain why he wanted to leave. He said why he ran away was not important. Anyway, he just couldn't go back. 

呃，原因會不重要才怪，只是講出來太丟臉了，他跟家人吵架，一氣之下，才衝了出去，未料從此沒再與家人聯絡。

Uh, really not important? Maybe it was too embarrassing to say that. He quarreled with his family and rushed out in a fit of rage. He never knew that he wouldn't contact his family again. 

他們也許是翹家，也許不是，但有誰在乎，他們只是你擦身而過的陌生人。

Maybe they ran away from home or what, but who cares? 

They were just strangers you passed by.

Lady: 這篇好像更糟耶，角色也未免太多了吧，請問其中有哪一個消失了嗎?

This story seems even worse! There are too many characters. Does anyone disappear?

Man:故事講完所有的人物全都消失了啊，他們只會存在這個故事裡! (畫面以此段所有出現的人物快速出現最後淡入黑暗)

After the story is told, all the characters disappear. They only exist in the story.

(畫面全暗)

Lady: 好的角色會活在讀者的心中，可見你的技巧多拙劣

Good characters will live in the hearts of the readers. It shows how poor your writing skills are.

Man: 你很煩捏

Man: You're really annoying.

Lady: 說真的，可不可以讓幾個角色留下來?

Seriously, can some characters stay?

(Ying做體操)

(生日趴)

Lady: 這不是後設小說吧

It isn't metafiction.

Man: 你怎麼看的? 其實這篇小說有它自己的想法，不是想要怎麼寫，就可以怎麼寫。

How did you read it? In fact, this novel has a mind of its own. You can't write it the way you want it.

Lady: 你是說作者無法控制它嗎?

You mean the author can't control it?

Man: 對，小說已經有了自己的生命了。

Yeah, the novel already has a life of its own.

Lady: 太好笑了，小說寫不好，就說是小說自己搞壞的，難道故事從頭到尾都是小說自己完成的?

This is ridiculous. The novel wasn't well written, but you said it ruined that itself. Was the story written by the novel itself from the beginning to the end?

Man: 是啊，你不覺得嗎?它可是一篇很特殊的小說。

Yeah, don't you think it's a very special novel?

Lady: 多特殊?只是一篇愛裝神祕的小說而已啦。

How special? It's just a novel that loves to pretend to be mysterious.

Man: 這會讓我聯想到一百年前的一個劇本。

It reminds me of a play written a hundred years ago.

Lady: 什麼劇本?

Which play?

Man: 你有聽過《六個尋找作者的劇中人》嗎?

Have you heard of "Six Characters in Search of an Author"?

Lady: 我哪記得那麼多，他們是誰?

How can I remember? Who are they?

Man: 就劇中人啊

Just some characters.

Lady: 哦，怎麼了，為什麼要尋找作者呢?

Oh, what's the matter? Why were they in search of an author?

Man: 應該不尋找了啦，反正也找不到，所以可能要換掉作者

I guess they weren't in search anymore. They couldn't find him anyway, so they might have to change the author.

Lady: 嗯，不管是戲劇或小說，若作者不好，能換掉也不錯啊

Well, no matter what plays or novels, if the author is not good, just replace him.

Man: 你確定?

You sure?

Lady: 這就要問你了，你不是作者嗎?

I should ask you. Aren't you the author?

Man: 是啊，但你好像把這篇小說的主導權搶了過去。

Yeah, but you seem to have taken the lead in this novel.

Lady: 哪有?

Do I?

Man: 感覺似乎你才是作者。不久之後，這篇小說的作者就會換人了。因小說覺得新的作者比較仁慈，不會動不動就讓人消失。

Feels like you are the author. It won't be long before the author is replaced. The novel thinks the new author is more merciful and won't make people disappear whenever possible.

Lady: 她其實不是很在意主角會不會消失，只是主角還想看她的孫子長大，更重要的是，萬一主角不見了，誰要照顧她已經100歲的母親?

She doesn't really care if the protagonist vanishes, but she still wants to see her grandchildren grow up. More importantly, if she disappears, who will take care of her 100-year-old mother?

Man: 說得沒錯，的確小說不要我了，好吧，就讓給你了。

That's right. The novel doesn't want me anymore. Okay, you can have it.

May: 謝謝!

Thank you.

在1922年3月15日，一個可愛的小女孩誕生於台灣宜蘭縣羅東鎮

On March 15th, 1922, a cute little baby girl was born in Luodong, Taiwan.

我母親在高中畢業後成為了小學老師

My mother became a primary school teacher after graduation from high school.

大家喜歡叫她櫻花老師 (因她的名字為詹櫻)

She was well known as Sakura Sensei (Teacher Sakura).

我母親在21歲時和我父親甘鋒亮結婚

At age 21, my mother and my father Fang-liang Kan got married.

她於1945年23歲生日的隔天，產下了一個女嬰，那個嬰兒就是我

One day after her own birthday in 1945, she gave birth to a baby girl, who is me.

她可愛嗎?

Is she cute?

我阿嬤興趣廣博又相當有才華，從小到大我不知道從她那裏學到多少東西

Ama, with her various interests and talents has taught me so much throughout my life.

在我的成長過程當中，多虧了阿嬤，我們家總是充滿了美麗的花朵、可口美味的食物和有趣的客人

Growing up, our home was always filled with beautiful flower arrangements, delicious food and interesting guests thanks to Ama.

我很感激阿嬤這麼樂意跟我分享她所知道的一切

I am very thankful that Ama had the time and inclination to share her knowledge and learning with me.

我長大成人後，阿嬤在育兒和兒童教育方面提供了很多獨到的見解和指導。

我實在很幸運，我的孩子們能有機會認識他們的阿祖(曾祖母)，且共度美好時光。 我想請我的孩子Alex 和Adele 向阿祖獻上鮮花

As an adult, Ama has provided so much guidance and insight on parenting, as well as children's education. I feel very fortunate that my children have a chance to know and spend time with their "Atso" (Great-grandmother). I would like to invite my children, Alex and Adele to present birthday flowers to Atso.

Carole，輪到你了，要不要講幾句話

OK. Carole, It's your turn to have a speech. Say something.

我們從蒙克頓祝大家一切順利。 感謝你們參加這個生日派對。 我們想簡短講一下。 謝謝大家，生日快樂。

We all want to wish you well from Moncton. Thank you for joining us. We'll say a few quick words. Thank you to you all and happy birthday.

生日快樂，謝謝大家

Happy Birthday. Thank you.

阿姨，生日快樂

Happy Birthday, Auntie.

我不知道你的名字叫做櫻， 因我老是叫你阿姨。 我覺得你就是我阿姨啊。 她有如此豐富而充實的人生。 好幾年沒見到阿櫻阿姨了。你一樣是這麼漂亮、青春。

我變老了，但你沒有。

I didn't know your name is Ying. I always call you Auntie. So you're still my Auntie.

She has such a rich and fulfilling life. Auntie Ying certainly has set a very good example for all of us.

I haven't seen Auntie Ying for quite a few years.

You are still the same. So young and beautiful.

I have aged and you have not.

最親愛的來賓們，我的名字叫Elaine，我很榮幸能在如此重要的場合發言。

Dearest guests, my name is Elaine and I'm honored to be speaking at such a momentous occasion.

Carole 與 Connie 和我分別是在小學和幼稚園認識的，我們真的很合得來。

Carole and Connie and I met at school and kindergarten and we clicked right away.

阿嬤和我會認識是因她同意教我日語且當我的日語老師

The two of us got acquainted when Grandma agreed to become

my sensei (teacher) teaching me Japanese.

我總是被她堅定不移而有耐心、溫柔且仁慈以及關懷他人的性格所打動。

I was always struck by her unwavering patience, her gentle kindness, and her caring disposition.

在這裡有許多人，都曾得到她愛的祝福

Many of us in this room have been blessed with her love.

我希望阿嬤明瞭，我們的生活裡有你，便是你所給我們最珍貴的禮物。

I hope Grandma understands that the greatest gift you can give us is your presence in our life.

非常感謝

Thank you very much.

謝謝你

Thank you.

祝你生日快樂

Happy Birthday to you!

我現在有東西要送給阿姨。 我知道你說不要送禮物，但這些禮物是無價的。

無價的， 哦！

她可以現在打開嗎？

給大家看看無價的禮物。

Now I do have something for Auntie. I know that you told us not to bring any gifts but those gifts are priceless.

Priceless. Oh!

Should she opened it now?

Show everybody the priceless gift.

這是送給你的

現在開

This is for you.

Open it now.

這是日本領事館送的月曆

他們每年都會寄給我，我真的很喜歡

還有另一個月曆。

This is the calendar I received from the Japanese consul.

They send me every year and I really enjoyed it.

And also another calendar.

好棒， 非常感謝你，Maggie，真是最好的禮物

Excellent. Thank you so much, Maggie. The best gift.

我答應你的，真的照做

So I kept your promise.

我沒有付半毛錢

No, I didn't pay for it.

非常感謝你，Maggie，謝謝你

Thank you so much, Maggie. Thank you.

我幫你拿

I can hold it for you.

謝謝，很高興能再見到您

Thank you. Nice to see you again.

賽真的大兒子，很有心，他很忙，專程來看你

Susan's eldest son is very caring. Though he is very busy, he made a special trip to see you.

謝謝

Thank you.

來照一張照片

Let's take a photo.

生日快樂

Happy Birthday!

家母非常感恩，她得以享有如此長壽、多彩、快樂、健康、有意義、多元化的人生

My mother is extremely grateful to have been granted the privilege of having the opportunity to such a long, eventful and mostly happy, healthy and meaningful, multi-cultural existence.

謝謝

Thank you.

感謝你們大家，我特別要感謝 Paul 幫助我

也謝謝我的孩子 Carole、Connie 和 Herb 及 Nick (直到 2 年前) 以及所有的孫子們 Alex、Madeline、Emile、Adele 和 Frederique。 謝謝你們。

And thanks to you all, and I especially want to thank Paul for helping me and my children, Carole and Connie and Herb, up to 2 years ago, Nick, and all the grandchildren, Alex, Madeline, Emile, Adele, and Frederique. Thank you all.

(櫻花)

(生日趴)

沒想到，她的100歲生日會是她的最後一個生日

Nobody knew that her 100th birthday would be her last birthday.

(告別式)

(櫻花)

(Ying 繼續做體操)

May: 她自己有三個孩子，所以她會想營養方面如何較好

She has three children of her own, so she would take nutrition seriously.

May: 現在100歲了，你說白頭髮，白頭髮最美，不用染髮，不用染黑，白得很漂亮，你看，是不是很美?照一下鏡子

You are 100 years old and your white hair is the most beautiful. No need to dye your hair. See. Isn't it beautiful? Look in the mirror.

May's Mom: 普通

Okay.

Man: 她生在台灣宜蘭，從小跟母親相依為命，長大後嫁到了加拿大溫哥華。

She and her mother have stuck together since she was born in Yilan, Taiwan. She married a man in Vancouver, Canada, and has lived there ever since. 

May: 今天是我們結婚47週年紀念日，我很快樂，Paul，非常感謝你

Today is our 47th wedding anniversary. I am very happy. And Paul, Thank you very much.

Paul: 謝謝

Thank you.

眾人: 聖誕快樂

Merry Christmas.

她有兩個女兒五個孫子，其中兩個孫子跟她一樣住在西部，另外三個孫子則住東部。

She has two daughters and five grandchildren. Two of the grandchildren live in the west of Canada like her, and three in the east.

May: 很高興在溫哥華看到你們

So happy to see you all in Vancouver.

好好享用吧，乾杯

Enjoy! Cincin!

May: 我們能解釋他們在說什麼，我們來吃野餐吧

We can explain what they are talking about, right? 

Let's eat our picnic.

眾人: 祝你生日快樂

Happy birthday to you!

阿祖(曾祖母): 生日快樂

Happy birthday!

家人:你要說什麼?

What do you say?

Adele: 謝謝

Thank you.

家人:Adele，看著阿祖說謝謝

Adele, look at Great Grandma and say it.

Adele: 謝謝

Thank you.

家人:可以擁抱一下阿祖嗎?

Can you give Great Grandma a hug?

家人: 你真的好棒

You are such a wonderful girl.

家人: 我幫你拿，你可以抱一下阿祖

I can hold it. Can you give Great Grandma a hug?

家人:很好

That's good.

May: 看起來很好吃，我愛芒果，芒果不喜歡我，但我超愛它

Looks so good. I love mangos. Mango doesn't like me, but I love it.

May: 九點了，我現在要趕快去了，三個禮拜，三個禮拜，不是三年

It's 9 o'clock. I've got to run. 3 weeks. Not 3 years.

她最敬愛的祖父，以前會從台灣東部到西部，去看他所關愛的孫子們，因這些孩子只有母親，他們的爸爸永遠缺席。

Her most beloved grandfather used to travel from the east to the west of Taiwan to see the grandchildren he cared for, because these children had a single mother and their father was always absent.

現在她自己當祖母了，也會不遠千里，從加拿大西部到東部去看孫子們，這是她向祖父致敬的方式。

She's a grandmother now, and would travel thousands of miles from the west to the east of Canada to see her grandchildren, which is her way of honoring her grandfather.

她很小的時候父親就過世，因此她更疼愛這些跟她一樣，年紀還小就失去父親的孫子們。

Her father passed away when she was very young, so she especially loves these grandchildren who lost their father at a young age, just like herself.

她多麼希望能陪孫子們一起走向未來，能走多久算多久。

She really hopes to be with her grandchildren as long as she can. They will walk into the future together.

至於城堡裡是什麼樣子，可能有後設小說會描述，可惜這篇不是後設小說。

There may be metafiction that will describe what it looks like in the castle. Sorry, but this isn't metafiction.

小說家對於粉絲的背景所知有限，也許那個粉絲其實是個殺人狂

The novelist has limited knowledge of the fan's background. Maybe that fan is actually a serial killer.

別擔心，小說家根本沒死，只是前一天晚上熬夜寫作太累，睡著了。

Don't worry. The novelist didn't die. Just because he stayed up writing last night, he was so tired that he fell asleep.

至於殺人的片段，應該只是小說家構思中的情節而已

As for the murder scene, it should be just a part of the novelist's story.

小說家連做夢都夢見他小說的情節

The novelist dreamed of the plot of his novel.

他的粉絲也有可能是女的，她的長相大概是像這樣。

His fan could be a woman, and she probably looks like this.

是不是該把小說家和粉絲安排去海邊騎馬，或是去坐船

Should the novelist and the fan go horseback riding on the beach or take a boat ride in the story?

那總比只是在海邊或室內講話有趣些吧

That's more fun than just talking by the sea or indoors.

但還是算了吧，那跟故事情節的發展沒什麼關係，硬是放在小說裡，不被文評家和讀者罵死才怪

But forget it. It has nothing to do with the development of the story. If the novelist put it in his story, it would get negative reviews from the critics and readers.

呃...少騙人了，根本不是怕被罵，而是捨不得花錢騎馬和搭船

Uh, it's not true. He wasn't afraid of negative reviews.

He just hated spending money on horseback riding and boating.

因小說家老是說他很窮，每天只吃得起最便宜的便當，

Because the novelist said he was so poor that he could only afford the cheapest bento,

還有，只騎30分鐘內免費的Youbike

and he only rode YouBike for free for the first 30 minutes.

他除了小時候曾坐過類似公園裡的小船，一輩子未曾搭過大一點的船

He once had a boat ride like that in a park in his childhood. After that, he never had a cruise in his life.

他住過的房子則大都像這樣。

Most of the houses he lived in looked like this.

但這種意圖博取他人同情的手法，也未免太拙劣了。

But the way he tried to get the sympathy of others was too clumsy.

從前從前有一個知名的小說家在淡水海邊遇到一個......

Once upon a time, a well-known novelist met a...

粉絲: 不好意思，麻煩你不用念了，你的小說不是大同小異就是一直重複，我真的不想聽了，不好意思，我要走了

Excuse me. Stop reading, please. Your stories are almost the same or keep repeating. I really don't want to hear it anymore. Sorry. I'm leaving now.

作家: 但我小說還沒念完啊!

But I haven't finished reading my novel yet!

作家: 哼，我最恨不尊重我的小說的人！(他頗激動地拍了一下桌子)

I really hate people who don't respect my novels.

粉絲: 那你要怎麼樣？

So what are you going to do?

作家: 我要殺了你。(他惡狠狠地看著粉絲)

I'm going to kill you.

粉絲: 你要怎麼殺我？難道你有鎗不成？

How? Do you have a gun?

作家: 要殺你還不簡單，只要把你從我的小說中刪掉就可以了。

It would be easy to kill you. Just delete you from my novel.

Leo都會札記

Leo in the City

躺在都會邊緣

與喧囂角力

害我們跟不上

凌晨的是非

Lying on the edge of the city, wrestling with the hustle and bustle, that makes us unable to keep track of the right and wrong before dawn.

Lying on the edge of the city,

Wrestling with the hustle and bustle,

That makes us unable to keep up

The right and wrong before dawn.

你的背後長滿了記憶

那是被出賣的地圖集裏

不慎遺失的城市

Your back is full of memories.

It's the city that was accidentally lost

In the betrayed atlas.

若有一條街道

陷落在你的忽略裏

它的夢境是否依舊背對著

每一個逝去的都會

If there is a street

That falls under your neglect,

Does the dream still turn its back

On every passing city?

男: 你可能在某個都會的街上遇見過Leo，他看見你，想打招呼，卻又怕你不理他，索性裝作沒看見。好傲的人啊，你想，不過你根本不在乎他，管他傲不傲。

You may have met Leo on a street in a certain city. He saw you and wanted to say hello, but he was afraid that you would ignore him and simply pretended he didn't see you. What an arrogant person, you thought, but you didn't care about him at all, whether he was arrogant or not.

他曾自費出過一本小說，叫《Leo都會札記》，他很久以前應該跟你蠻熟的，不然怎麼會借你看他的作品。

He once published a novel, "Leo in the City", at his own expense. He must have been familiar with you long ago, or he wouldn't have lent you his novel.

「但你看沒幾篇就把書還給人家了，或許你的文學底子不好，看不懂作者在寫什麼。」書裡面有一段文字是這麼寫你的。

"But you returned the book to Leo after reading a few chapters. Maybe you're not a good reader to understand what the author is writing about." There was a passage in the book that said about you.

Leo說你看不懂，讓你蠻火的，為什麼Leo不說自己功力不夠，只會亂寫一通，寫一些關於幾個都會或根本不是都會的東西，比方說在Leo小時候有一次他媽媽帶他到照相館拍大頭照，拍出來的相片就是這一張。

Leo said that you couldn't understand his novel, and it made you so angry. Why didn't Leo admit that he wasn't a good writer. He could only write something about cities or irrelevant to cities. For example, he wrote that his mother once took him to a photo studio for a head shot, and this is the photo.

不久後去加洗，拿到的卻是一張成人的大頭照

Soon after, Leo had the head shot developed, but he got an adult's instead.

Leo還因此跟照相館老闆起爭執，這個成人的大頭照當然就是Leo自己的，只是一下子就老了三十幾歲，自己卻拒絕承認，反而指責老闆搞錯了。

Leo quarreled with the boss of the photo studio. Actually, the adult head shot was Leo's own photo and it looked 30 years older, but he refused to admit that. Instead, he accused the boss of making a mistake.

先生，我跟你說我不可能搞錯啦，你拿來加洗的就是這張成人照，怎麼又會變成小孩子的?

Sir, I told you that I couldn't have made a mistake. The head shot you wanted to develop was of an adult, not a child.

這時Leo小時候的場景則變成一個他既熟悉又陌生的都會。

At this moment, the scene of Leo's childhood became a city he was both familiar and unfamiliar with.

在走過許多條街後，他終於看見熟悉的事物，那是一間麵包店，裡面有他小時候常吃的古早味菠蘿麵包

After walking through many streets, he finally saw something familiar. It was a bakery with the old-fashioned pineapple bun, which he used to eat when he was a kid.

他走了進去，發現裡面的麵包有的是昨天出爐的，所以半價，他不在乎，於是買了一個半價的菠蘿麵包，咬了一口，嗯，果然是昨天的麵包，跟小時候的記憶一模一樣。

He walked in and found that some of the bread had been baked yesterday, so it was 50% off. He didn't care, so he bought a 50% off pineapple bun and took a bite. Well, it sure was yesterday's bread, exactly as he remembered when he was a child.

吃完麵包，他知道他回不去了，把過去吞下肚，就算吐出來，也不會是原來的那個麵包了。

After eating the bread, he knew he couldn't go back. Once he swallowed the past, even if he vomited it up, it wouldn't be the original bread.

女: 這其實稱不上是小說，也不是遊記，害我不知道該怎麼去形容他的文字，難怪沒有出版社要理他。

Actually, this is not a novel, nor a travel book, so I don't know how to describe his works. It's no surprise that no publishing houses would publish his works.

男: 可不可以不要這樣說我？

Please don't say that.

女:「哦，我不是在說你啦，你聽錯了。」太可怕了，他怎麼會知道別人在說他，難道他有裝竊聽器？

Oh, I wasn't talking about you. You got it wrong. So creepy. How could he know that? Did he have a wire?

男: 我沒錢買竊聽器啦！

I have no money to buy a wire.

女:天啊，他連竊聽器的事也知道，這是怎麼一回事？

My oh my, he even knew about the wire.

How could he?

男: 你驚嚇過度，不知如何是好。後來你不知道怎麼了，便沒有再出現了。也不是失蹤啦，只不過是從未在《Leo都會札記》裡被提起罷了。 可是，怎麼你會突然變成你曾讀過的書裡的角色，書要亂寫也不是這種寫法。

You were so shocked and didn't know what to do. Later nobody knew what happened to you. You didn't show up again. You weren't missing. It's just that you weren't mentioned in "Leo in the City" again. But, how could you suddenly become a character in the novel you have read? And how can a novelist write his book like that?

女:「哈，真好騙，根本沒有《Leo都會札記》這本書好嗎？他哪有錢可以自費出書？」

Don't be a fool. "Leo in the City"? There's no such book. He didn't have money to publish any books.

男: 「他沒那麼窮吧，否則怎麼會有錢出國去玩？」

He wasn't that poor, otherwise, how could he have money to travel abroad?

女:「誰說出國一定要自己出錢？不能出差順便玩嗎？」

Why should you pay for yourself when you travel abroad? You can have a business trip and a tour at the same time.

男: 「你管他窮不窮，真是無聊。」

Why do you care if he's poor or not? It's none of your business.

女:「沒錯，我是很勢利，所以才懶得理你。」

Yes, I'm a snob, so I'd better ignore you.

男: 「是哦，你可能不知道，這個小說家最討厭勢利眼，可是他卻懶得搭理比自己窮的人。

Yes, you may not know that this novelist hated snobs the most, but he didn't bother to talk to people who were poorer than himself.

對了，讀者居然忘了小說家後來跑去哪裡了，其實小說家跟你一樣也不見了，他似乎從此迷失在《Leo都會札記》裡。

By the way, the readers actually forgot where the novelist was later. In fact, the novelist disappeared just like you. He seemed to have been lost in "Leo in the City" ever since.

女:迷失在不存在的書裡，這到底是怎麼一回事？

Lost in a book that didn't exist. What's going on?

《Leo都會札記》真的無聊到讓人讀不下去，

她只好和朋友去看電影，但她越看越覺得不對勁

"Leo in the City" was so boring that she didn't want to read it anymore.

She went to the movie with her friend instead.

But the more she saw it, the more she felt something was wrong.

於是Google了一下，發現這部電影《海邊的小說家》的編導，跟那篇《Leo都會札記》的作者，竟是同一個人，難怪一樣難看

So she googled it and discovered the director and writer of the film "A Novelist by the Sea"

was actually the author of "Leo in the City." No wonder they were both that bad.

女: 這部電影可是你選的，你們是不是串通好了?

You picked this movie. Have you two conspired to do that?

男: 我也不曉得啊。

How will I know?

女: 這部電影根本就是B級爛片嘛

This movie is simply a bad B-rated film.

男: 可是這部電影的導演曾在好幾個國際影展得過獎哦。

But the director of this film has won awards at several international film festivals.

女: 都是沒聽說過的小影展，有什麼用?

Useless. Those are the film festivals that I have never heard of.

男: 那我們出去吧。

So let's get out of here.

女: 我早就想出去了好嗎?

I can't wait to get out, okay?

男: 可是很奇怪，任憑我們怎麼走，都走不出這間影城。

But it's so strange. No matter how hard we try, we can never get out of the movie theater.

女: 於是，我們便迷失在艱澀的電影裡。

So we were completely lost in the obscure movie.

男: 我才不會看不懂。導演只不過用了一些隱喻罷了。

It isn't too difficult to understand. The director just used some metaphors.

女: 那麼輕易就被你看出來就不叫隱喻啦。

It's not a metaphor if you can easily understand it.

而且看不懂又不會死，何必假文青，搞不好導演也不知道他在拍什麼。

You won't die, even if you don't understand the film, so why bother to fake it? Maybe the director doesn't know what he is filming.

男: 是哦，我的結論是，這是一場夢，但卻又醒不過來，只好在夢裡把一直重複著劇情的電影看完。

Yeah, my conclusion is that this is a dream, but I can't wake up, so I have to finish the movie that repeats the plot.

那天，一個小說家在海邊遇到了他的一個粉絲

One day, a novelist by the sea met his fan,

正好這個粉絲也是個業餘的作家，於是兩個人便聊了起來

who happened to be an amateur writer, so the two chatted.

在卡夫卡的小說《城堡》裡，男主角K一直想進入城堡，不過卻事與願違。

The protagonist of Kafka's novel "The Castle" wants to enter the castle, but somehow he can't get into it.

而在某篇後設小說裡，女作家倒是進入了城堡，為她的下一本小說尋找靈感。

In a story of metafiction, a female writer enters the castle to get inspiration for her next novel.