apple, life, death, rebirth

This time, of course, I can’t express my regret in the tone of the old shop’s disappearance (“I won’t be able to see it for a few days”) (even if I hear it the most), but I really can’t say anything that goes against my heart (“ Spiritual longevity”, “results one day”), and there is no wisdom and mood to think about what can be done (development programs, backups, etc.).

The news that Apple may be shutting down, warned me fiercely: Want to live a normal life here? impossible!

Life - Apple Daily is really a part of my life. Apple Daily symbolizes the values of press freedom, democracy, and truth, and it is often reposted on social media. Of course, it is a part of life; but the "life" I am talking about here is just a humble habit that is taken for granted every day: getting up and going down the street , go to the newspaper stand next to the pier to buy an apple, then read the newspaper while having breakfast, then continue to read on the boat, in the car, lunch, and even dinner, until you have finished reading Hong Kong news, international news, special features, editorial reviews and columns until.

It's been an exact part of my life for over a decade. Now, a rib of life has been taken away. When I saw the news, my chest felt solid, and then I wanted to cry without tears for a while. The last time I felt this way was Zhou Zile's death.

The red line became the Red Sea, and the fertile land was submerged, becoming smaller and smaller islands, crowded with silent people.

Sometimes I look at the dense high-rise buildings in the middle of the green mountains and green waters, the cars and pedestrians move like a precise program on the scattered tracks, and when I compare the tranquility and kindness of the nature on the island and the suburbs, I will feel that Hong Kong is really beautiful. , is unique and beautiful, and the feeling is getting stronger and stronger.

However, it is precisely this beauty that conceals the devastation of the city. The pillars below which build and support the city are crumbling into piles of sand dunes. Why hasn't this colorful city collapsed yet?

Long before Apple Daily was seized, I slowly linked Hong Kong to death in my mind. "Death" does not refer to the assertion that "Hong Kong is dead", but the actual process from the mother's diagnosis of cancer to her death ten years ago, step by step towards death.

Death is the moment of cessation of breathing and pulse, the "permanent cessation of all biological functions that sustain the existence of living beings" (Wikipedia), but a demarcation line. Mother's death from cancer was a long atrophy: first slurred speech, then hair loss from chemotherapy, weight loss, thin face, then worsening cough, inability to stand, confusion, pain like electric shocks, and finally Die quietly. The body shrinks, and the space shrinks at the same time: from going to the market to buy food, to only doing housework at home, to sitting at home, only to bed, to unable to move - until completely still.

I seem to have witnessed the process of death once again, watching the familiar, kind, and never thought to disappear, declining step by step.

However, to say "Hong Kong is dead", is it the city, this group, the state of this group in this place, this "spirit", or something else that is "dead"?

Cities can be moved and reclaimed, swallowed up (for example, become "Shenzhen South"), no longer exist on the map, or have a new name, but Hong Kong's appearance is still alive and it seems to be very close to "death". Far.

If the group is no longer in the same place and has close contact, it is not a group. However, each group is mobile, and its members increase or decrease, and it cannot be regarded as "death". Even if things are scattered, the identity of group members belonging to this group cannot be eradicated no matter where they are.

The "spirit" is born in a city and its group, but can diffuse, flow, and cling to other things, just like the people of the group.

The state of this group in this place is now beyond recognition, and the closest I've come to walking towards "death". But just think again, nothing lasts forever, what matters is the direction of change. Therefore, the state of this group in this place has become completely unrecognizable, and macroscopic (optimistic, naive) thinking can also be regarded as a "mutation", or a "test", depending on how this "mutation", "test" "Transformed and created into a new force that nourishes this city, this community, this "spirit".

Transformation and creation seem to be the most needed things for this group. Everything can no longer continue the way it used to be. Rather than nostalgic about the past and fantasizing about rebuilding the old state, I look forward to the transformation and creation of this "Hong Kong" city, this group, this group in this place, and this "spirit", which is not the same as before. But more ideal than before. This requires an imagination that goes far beyond the immediate conditions and constraints, and leaps forward. Just like the march towards death, the journey towards rebirth should be a long one.

After my mother passed away for a long time, I realized that the experience was like a "rebirth" for me. I have become very concerned about my physical and mental health (I always think this is why I started practicing yoga), learn to cook, and also remember that life is short, I should do things that I find meaningful and interesting, and spend less time on things that are not worth it .

Now, "death" seems to be coming. I want to find this "rebirth".

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Other things you can do:

"To Apple Daily: Please fully open the license to make the content sustainable", Gao Reconstruction: https://www.hkcnews.com/article/42623/Apple Daily-Shared Creative License-42623/appledaily

"No Farewell", Leung Kai Chi: https://hk.appledaily.com/local/20210623/KCB6WYK7ENC6RNKLOTPROCMVNY/

"The Death and Rebirth of "Apple", Liu Xiliang: https://hk.appledaily.com/local/20210622/GG5P2WXCJ5CPHKXHLPELP3CIQ4/