"ruler?"

Original Date: 2019.11.09

Date: 2022.02.09

Location: Kaohsiung City

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"Have I found the ruler in my heart?"

After leaving the kindergarten, looking back at these at the beginning, I asked myself again at this moment.

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I'm not sure if I really found it, but I just think of the next two years. Even though I said, "Do not do to others what you don't want to do to yourself." But you still unconsciously give yourself the "control" you don't want to do to those around you. people. After leaving any form of organization, what you resist is being controlled, but perhaps you are too persistent in wanting to leave the controlled environment, so that you will not consciously want to control something once you leave. After suppressing it for too long, even if I don't want to do it in my heart, it seems that I can't help it accidentally.

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Maybe I can live a self-disciplined life. In fact, I am also pursuing a kind of control to a certain extent. I want my life to happen within my expectations. It seems that "control" has become a desire unwittingly. I try my best not to control others, and as a result, I control myself so that I can satisfy countless unbearable things.

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I used to think that finding the ruler in my heart is to build a world I want, but now I just feel that before I understand what the ruler in my heart looks like, the world I build will unconsciously become an extension of the "ruler". It really comes true. Not necessarily what you want. And while saying "build the world you want", you accidentally want to control it.

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Can't find the ruler seems to be no longer a problem at hand, maybe we should start with no control.