Homecoming from the Great Pandemic

I didn't plan to go back to Chaozhou this year. Later, I heard that my grandmother's situation was not optimistic. I thought that it would be an online class anyway, so I decided to go back in a hurry.

This time is a tribulation for the elderly in all of China. My wife’s grandfather did not survive it. The day before my grandma’s birthday happened to be her grandfather’s funeral. I don't care so much about this kind of thing, but my relatives think it's a pity: I haven't brought her back once since I got married. It's rare that I come back this time. I should let everyone see her. Who knew that something like this happened.

There is another reason for me to come back, and that is to meet Ah Quan who just came out of it.

In 2019, I wrote an article "The Fall of Hometown", which mentioned this incident a little bit: After graduating from university, Aquan worked as an intern in a technology company. Later, the company got involved in the P2P business and was reported by a user who could not afford the money. , So all the employees of the company were arrested, even the resigned intern, and he was sentenced to four years in prison. By the end of last year, he was just released after serving his sentence.

A while ago, there was a person on WeChat who sent me a post about me. I have almost no impression of this account. I added some readers a few years ago, so I am not surprised that an unfamiliar account sends me a message, but I am a little impatient with such a good thing, so I replied coldly. After two sentences, he didn't speak any more, just remembering that he said in a little panic, I am also a reactionary. Back in Chaozhou, I told A Quan, what is your WeChat name now, send me a message. Then, that strange account squeaked on my WeChat, and I asked Ah Quan, why didn't you say who you were at that time, you said you were my younger brother, then I definitely didn't have that attitude.

I felt guilty towards him in my heart. At that time, his father (my uncle) and his uncle were running for him in Guazhou. I consulted many lawyer friends, and finally came to the conclusion: If you want him If he was released, he might have to make a big fuss on the Internet. The crackdown on P2P was an example of "movement-style governance". Their company was regarded as a model. The boss was sentenced for more than ten years, and the employees almost all started in three or four years. It was futile to go through legal channels. I discussed with my uncle (his uncle) and his uncle. I plan to write an article, and I also contact some friends who are in the media. It should not be a problem to get public attention. What they mean is that I should go to court to fight for it. I am afraid that I will be in danger, and the second is that if things get serious, their family will not look good. I didn't insist on it at the time, and they appealed later, and the original judgment was upheld in the second instance. Every time I think of him being imprisoned for four years for no apparent reason, I always blame myself for not being firm enough at the time.

Ah Quan is currently working for a friend of my uncle’s, as a warehouse manager in a pharmacy. Of course, his salary is not high. Fortunately, he is optimistic enough. He told me that he feels that the pharmaceutical industry will become more and more profitable in the future, and he wants to learn first. one time. I followed his words and said, yes, in fact, most college students can’t find a job after graduating, and your job is also very good. In the future, with your computer background, it is still quite promising to engage in Internet medicine.

I was quite concerned about Ah Quan's situation in the prison, so I asked tentatively, you are inside, have you not been bullied? He said lightly, no, after all, they still spent some money to manage their relationship. He told me what he had seen and heard inside, and most of those who went in were indeed not good people, some were corrupt officials, and some were swindlers, but in recent years some college students had entered, and some of them, like him, encountered a situation where the country wanted to rectify a certain industry, so unlucky. There is also a special group of people who were arrested because they did not speak Mandarin, and were directly handcuffed and anklet inside. He said that he didn't have a bad time in there, but he saw that some people were beaten by prison guards day and night, and no one cared about them until they were crying.

He said that he thought about asking me for help when he first entered, but he didn't know how to contact me. I felt even more guilty when I heard him say that. After he came out, they asked him to hand over 200,000 "illegal gains". If he couldn't get it out, he had to owe it first. "I'm just an intern, how can I have any illegal income? At that time, my family had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in order to file a lawsuit and establish relationships with me, and now I still owe people money." He said that his credit investigation has been blackened now. No, I can’t take the high-speed rail and plane, I said, not being recognized by the national system is not something worth humiliating, your brother and I are the same.

Although Ah Quan was a little angry when he spoke, I felt that he was not depressed, which somewhat relieved me. He said that after experiencing this incident, he was completely disappointed with the system, so after he came out, he read many of my articles. He opened Douban, searched for a popular science book on philosophy, and asked me how about this book. I said, this estimate is too shallow, and recommended him a book by Mr. Zhang Zhiwei, saying that I read this book when I was a freshman. Then pick some works of philosophers that I am interested in to read. I also saw that he had a history of World War II on his desk, which he would not have read before he went in. His reaction to this experience made me feel less guilty.

Grandma is 90 years old this year. In the past four years, they have lied to her every year and holiday, saying that Ah Quan is working in Shenzhen, the company is busy, there are many rules, and there is no way to come back. Now that Ah Quan came back, she hardly recognized him.

No one can tell how grandma's condition is this time, because they didn't take her to see a doctor, mainly because the doctor said she didn't know where to start: her blood oxygen value was still in the normal range, but she was very weak and delirious. Sometimes awake and sometimes confused. They pointed at me and asked her several times, who is this? She said, it was Ah Chun. But she couldn't say anything more. Several of her children and daughter-in-law took turns caring for her, but none of them could tell what was going on with her.

The atmosphere at grandma's house is not solemn at all, just like a normal New Year's party. After chatting with Aquan in the room, Ajiang and I drank tea in the living room, and Achuan came over after taking a shower. I attended his wedding in September last year. His wife, like him, is a civil servant in Chaozhou. In the past two years, China's local finances have been quite tight. Many civil servants in small cities have been unable to pay wages, but Chaozhou is very strange. This place with the lowest GDP in Guangdong now has the money to repair the subway and open up the three cities of Chaoshan. . I asked Ah Chuan if their income had decreased, and he said, don’t count, although some subsidies have been cancelled, but they paid 3,000 more per month. I didn't delve into it further, but this development against the trend surprised me.

After chatting for a while, it was time for Chaoshan people to eat supper. When I was a child, I spent the summer vacation here. Every night after nine o'clock, my aunt would make me and Brother Hai have supper, but we ate plain porridge. According to her theory, if the whole night is so long and she doesn't eat until the morning, she must be starving. A Chuan and I are both pickle lovers, so we definitely won’t eat white porridge for supper now. Ah Jiang said, how about calling Ah Xi? Axi is my uncle's son. He just graduated from a bachelor's degree last year. It is said that he is about to get his teacher qualification certificate. I heard that Axi was going to be a teacher in the future, so I laughed so hard that I could hardly straighten my back. I grew up watching this kid. In the past twenty years, I have never seen him holding a book. Ajiang said that we absolutely support him as a teacher, as long as he is not teaching our children.

Ten minutes after Axi left the house, we called him in the group to buy three Shantou rice rolls downstairs, and he agreed without saying a word. When he came in with a few boxes of rice rolls, I called him "Teacher Lin" loudly, and he blushed immediately, put down the rice rolls and shrank in a corner, afraid of attracting attention again. A Chuan still didn't let him go, and asked him if he had bought review materials for the civil servant exam? He whispered that he hadn't bought it yet, and Achuan continued to remind him, you must remember. Axi's state fully corresponds to my current understanding of college graduates: after graduating from college, the first choice is to take the public examination and the examination system, especially like him, the family does not expect him to use money to help supplement it. The best reason to work.

In the end, Ah Quan couldn't help but gather at the supper table. His mother usually wouldn't let him eat raw pickles, but tonight there were so many people that the eldest aunt couldn't say anything. Before 2019, I did not return to Chaozhou for seven years. After 2019, A Quan was absent for another four years. Our brothers have not gathered together like this for a long time. Now there is one less person who is planting dogwood, and that is Hai Ge in the United States. . Was our relationship so good when we were young? Not necessarily. Before Achuan was ten years old, he had a violent temper and often bullied Brother Hai. Every time I helped Brother Hai beat Achuan, Brother Hai would think that I was going too far; Everyone has experienced some things in the world over the years, and suddenly felt that this kind of relationship from childhood to adulthood is precious.

Ah Quan asked his uncle who was on the side, if he could ask the boss for a leave of absence on grandma's birthday. Uncle was amused, saying such a thing, you should speak up yourself. Ah Quan said, you are familiar with him. The uncle said, now he is your boss, grandma's birthday, this kind of reason is fair and aboveboard, and there is nothing embarrassing to say. You just tell him that my uncle asked you to come with him. There is a high probability that he will not come, but it is more appropriate to say so. Aquanuo Nuo nodded, it can be seen that he is still not very good at dealing with people. Uncle pointed at me and said, ask Brother Chun, do you have to learn how to deal with people? I smiled and said, if you take me as a role model, it may not be convincing to him.

I also have another cousin, who is a relative of my father, the son of my second aunt, who also played with him since he was a child. On the 17th, I had dinner with my cousin (his sister), and she drove me to Jinshi the next afternoon. For two days, she talked to me about my cousin’s situation: he works in a factory and earns more than 3,000 yuan a month, 2,000 for his wife, and 10,000 for Chinese New Year, but she still thinks he pays too little; She also felt that there was not enough room in the house. Although there were two floors, her parents lived downstairs and they each had a room upstairs, but she wanted to demolish the old house and build a new one with three floors. The family didn't have so much money, so she asked the two elders to find a way to borrow it. "The money is calculated to be 600,000 to 700,000, right? If you say that there is only a shortfall of 100,000 to 200,000, we can still borrow it, but the gap is too big. I know how to pay it back. My mother said that if I don’t want to pay you a down payment for commercial housing (commercial housing in Jinshi is not expensive), you live by yourself and pay for it later, but she is not willing.”

Brother Yuan is the same age as me, and now his son is already working in middle school. How his wife was willing to marry him, I haven't figured it out yet, but anyway, she regretted it not long after marriage, and when she had a child, it was useless to regret it, and she just made do with it, but there were frequent conflicts. He doesn't smoke, drink, or gamble. The disadvantage is that he doesn't earn enough, but it can be considered as the average income level of the country. With his temperament, it may be difficult to make a lot of money in this life, but there are some who can make a lot of money here. How many?

Cousin has complicated feelings for this younger brother. Of course she loves him. In the past few years, Yuandi's mental state was not very good. She often went to her mother's house to cook this and that, and took him to see a doctor with the second aunt. However, she likes to compare me with him, and feels that everything is not going well with him now. It is because he didn't like reading when he was a child, and his parents still let him go. So now she pays special attention to the education of her two children, and sometimes she may be a bit harsh. My cousin also knows my experience of being sensitive, and she is probably even more reluctant to let her younger brother bear it, but she feels that if she can only learn from me who can study and make money, I don’t care about public affairs at all. Learn, that should be good. But are these really so easy to separate?

When I came to the second aunt's house, Yuandi was also there. His previous factory had not survived the epidemic prevention and it had closed down. He found a new factory a year ago, and he didn't go to work until the next year. He and I sat down at the coffee table, and the second aunt put down her work and came over. Still, it's a pity that your wife didn't come back together this time. The second uncle was not in good health, so after sitting down and exchanging greetings, they let him go back to the room to rest. They said it was winter, and there was no grass cake (grass jelly), which I love most. Yuandi went out to buy me rice dumplings and sweet soup, and I chatted with my second aunt while making tea.

When I came to Chaozhou, I forgot to bring Longjiao San. When my throat feels uncomfortable, drinking a small cup of tea seems to relieve it. Chaozhou people like to drink Fenghuang Dancong, which is what I drink at my grandmother's house and my second aunt's house. After a while, Brother Yuan also came back, the four of us talked around the coffee table, and Brother Yuan came to make tea. He is very particular about drinking tea. A pot of tea can only be brewed ten times. If there is more, the taste will be weak. It must be brewed with boiling water, and there should be no bubbles when brewing, otherwise it will affect the taste. We talked about my two cousins and my uncle's two sons, who are also in Shenzhen, but because we go east and west, we don't have much contact. The cousin said that among the five daughters of the second uncle, only the eldest daughter, Ashan, has contact with her, and the rest of the names seem to be forgotten. The sister-in-law's family has nothing to do with our two families.

The previous generation of Chaoshan people generally favored boys over girls, so my second uncle gave birth to five daughters, and finally gave birth to a son. The cousin said that she would never do this again. She has always taught her son that you and your sister are equal, and even you and your parents are equal, so you can’t do all the housework for your parents. You are also part of the family. You have to do both. At dinner on the 17th, her two children also came with her. I saw that her son was gentle and polite, and her daughter was confident and expressive. I think her gender education is really good. My cousin has always envied my younger sister, who can dress up and earn money, but in my heart, it is quite remarkable that she takes care of her family and her parents' family so well within her ability.

It is true that Brother Yuan does not take enough responsibility for the family, but this is more a matter of ability than of character and will. Life was a little harder for him when he was conscious of himself. The teaching resources in the Chaoshan area are relatively scarce, mainly relying on the talents of the students themselves. Brother Yuan has been in Jinshi and has never met a particularly good teacher. He is not interested in learning, and his parents do not want to push his children too hard. The poor reading is independently attributed to any factor. Rather, it is normal to read poorly here, and it is rare to be able to read well. I came to Shenzhen in elementary school. When I was growing up, there were several mathematics, English and history teachers who laid a solid foundation for me, not to mention that I also have a super-student cousin who occasionally gives me advice. Based on Brother Yuan's past experience, he has this appearance now, I think he has put in a lot of hard work.

When the second aunt left, Brother Yuan and I talked about the book he had just won an award. He said that you didn't publish a book in China because you were targeted? I said, as if it could be said. So he said that there are some people in China who don't like others. After Mo Yan won the Nobel Prize, he was scolded to death by people in China. I was right, one of them named Sima Nan was the most disgusting. He said yes, brother, you don’t need to worry about what people in China say, just do your research with peace of mind. I said that this is not a famous award, but it is only an important recognition for my research. He said I understand, you have been pursuing your own ideals, I can't do it, but I admire you.

After I finished chatting with him, I absolutely did not believe that he was the "idiot" that others called him. He talked about the new crown, saying that so many people have died now, and the government is unwilling to make it public. He thinks such a management model is too opaque; he talked about his children’s education, saying that he would tell him how important it is to read good books, but He will never let him go to college at all costs. He seems to have a vague feeling about the so-called "educational inflation".

After dinner, it felt like we hadn't chatted for long, and it was already nine o'clock, and my cousin and daughter-in-law were coming back soon. They asked me if I would wait before leaving, and I said wait. At half past nine, a woman with thick braids and a pink down jacket entered the door together with a young boy with a stylish haircut. Both of them were wearing masks. Brother Yuan asked the little boy to call me "Uncle". He shyly called out and hid behind his mother. After the cousin-in-law greeted me, she kept chatting with her cousin, who was the most talkative person in her family. She just said something to the big guy, saying that the second uncle looks like he can't let him do any work, and then she said to brother Yuan, do more when you have time, don't keep squatting in front of the TV. Brother Yuan said, I have done a lot of work, and my tone is not at all impatient.

On the way back, I received a message from Brother Chen Ye, asking me when I will arrive in Zhanglin tomorrow. Brother Chen Ye was my brother in college and a classmate in my Ph. D., because I studied in graduate school for two years, and he studied for three years. After graduation, he went to China Normal University to work and take public classes.

It has been ten years since we last met. Ten years ago, he returned to Shenzhen University for a meeting, and I was writing my doctoral dissertation at home in Shenzhen, so we made an appointment to meet at Wenshan Lake. This time he heard that I was going back to Chaozhou and asked me if I was free to have a cup of tea at his ancestral home in Zhanglin. In the past few years, I have often seen him posting photos of himself repairing his ancestral house in his circle of friends. Later, he seems to have turned the ancestral house into an open exhibition hall, often hosting symposiums about Chaoshan culture. He also helped the people in the village sort out old things and compile genealogy, as if he had become a village sage in Chenghai.

On the 19th, I took a taxi from Xiangqiao to Zhangdong Overseas Chinese Federation early in the morning. Another friend from Chenghai was also there, and we happened to know each other. Brother Ye took us to drink tea in his ancestral home's Pinming Ju. There was a bucket of mountain spring water next to him, which was more particular than my cousin. He said it was almost time, and he got the nearby Yongding Building to give some young students an introduction to the Overseas Chinese Pilot Exhibition, so he took us through several alleys to the former site of Zhanglin Ancient Port, and Yongding Building was right next to it.

Before the rise of Shantou in the 1860s, Zhanglin Port was the largest port in the Chaoshan area. At that time, Chaoshan and even Hakka Gannan set off from Zhanglin Port along the Hanjiang River Basin, and went to Nanyang on a red-headed boat. "Now this river has been narrowed and once turned into stagnant water. It is only in recent years that the river has been dredged, and the water has become alive again." Brother Ye pointed to some buildings nearby and said: "The camphor forest returned to overseas Chinese in the Republic of China, There is a group of quite radical people who wanted to build a "Datong Village" in this area. Some of the houses nearby were built by them. They were the first houses in the Chaoshan area to use running water. The writer Qin Mu lived in The building on the other side of the river." I looked in the direction he pointed and saw a shop with "Zongqiu" written on it. He said, "Behind the Zongqiu."

While we were chatting, two girls walked up to me and told Brother Ye in Chaoshan dialect that the students were almost here. Brother Ye invited us to go together. After entering the gate, some young students gradually surrounded him, ranging from high school to university. Brother Ye said, I can talk about this exhibition for two hours, but it is a challenge for me to finish it for you in half an hour, but I will try my best. The so-called "overseas Chinese approval" refers to letters with remittances sent home from overseas by overseas Chinese. "Overseas Chinese Pi Archives" is one of the thirteen projects inscribed in China's "Memory of the World Register" by UNESCO. The exhibition hall in Yongding Building was planned and arranged by Brother Ye and a few friends. The envelopes and letters at the counter were imitated by Brother Ye’s friend writing with a brush. It took them a year to produce and dub.

Brother Ye's explanation to these students is extremely detailed. I listened to it once, but I can't repeat it. Most of these overseas Chinese and their family members who sent back overseas Chinese batches are not well-educated, so they usually hire someone to write for them. The so-called "four don't write" principles, one of which is: those who exaggerate the unworthiness of their children and grandchildren in order to sympathize with them in order to send more money should not write. This leads to a main line in Qiaopi: those who travel abroad and those who manage at home bargain with each other through Qiaopi. In an exhibition hall, Brother Ye showed us the word that appears most frequently in the batch, that is "difficult", and it is not easy to work hard outside. There is a 150-centimeter-long longest commentary, which is brilliant in writing. It contains the following words and sentences, which express the "difficult" state of mind: "I know that when the business is difficult and my talents are limited, it may not be possible to let go of others Better than this, in short, the poor and clean are better than the rich and turbid, how can life be spent on five buckets of rice?" Another overseas Chinese approval sent back 50 yuan, explaining in detail how to break it into 14 parts, Distribute to relatives.

The essays on display are not all about these hardships in life, but also lingering love letters. The most intriguing one is written to my married aunt and cousin: "Why didn't you say a word at that time, it was so stupid Yea. If there is a sound, I will become the happiest and pure-hearted couple now, but the wood has been carved into a boat, and it is useless to think about it, but at this moment, I feel touched in my heart, so I have to write a few lines to tell you. "Brother Ye When explaining this article, I couldn’t help laughing several times, saying that the gossip is too rich to tell tourists in detail. I think this overseas review can be compared to "Love in the Time of Cholera". Unfortunately, there is no Qin Mu to tell the story behind it. It has been interpreted as a masterpiece handed down from generation to generation (Qin Mu has another "Love Letter", which was made into a short video animation by Brother Ye's team, and Brother Ye himself dubbed the writing teacher).

When I returned to Brother Ye’s ancestral home, I was deeply shocked. One was the bond between Chaoshan people and “home” and the other was the cultural environment of Zhanglin. The former is not easy to express emotion, but I can speak frankly about the latter. I went back to Shaxi twice in 2019 and 2021, and found that not only was the people’s livelihood dilapidated, but also the messy new houses were in stark contrast to the dilapidated traditional old houses. It has the style of a small European town, with the old and the new, and the new and the old. This has a lot to do with the cultural researchers like Brother Ye who put a lot of effort into Zhanglin.

Brother Ye said that in order to raise funds, he had to deal with the real system frequently. The investment cycle of cultural projects is long, and it is not easy to achieve political achievements. Local governments prefer to invest in road and bridge infrastructure if they have money. He also felt that he had studied for more than ten years and was deeply constrained by the system. He dared not say many things directly, "but I am deeply impressed when I see you speak out freely and practice yourself." I asked him if he was still Xue Kan, and he It is true that Lingnan Confucianism is the foundation of his learning. The Confucianists in the Ming Dynasty had moved from "getting the king to walk the way" to "jue the people to walk the way". In the Chaoshan area, this kind of Confucian practice has a more specific form of expression, which is the focus of his research. I said that you are not only studying them, you are also taking over their mantle, but I think this is the true appearance of learning, not just watching calmly and objectively, but combining knowledge with the times and your own life. Combined, melt the cold stone of knowledge with your own passion for life, and see what new form the magma that collides will solidify into.

In the autumn of 2012, my uncle Chen Weinan returned to Chaozhou to receive commendations from the governments of Chaozhou and Shantou. Thinking about it now, I don’t know why I didn’t go back after such a long time, probably because every time I have free time, there are places I want to go more. I have said before that I don’t have much recognition for Chaoshan culture, but I have felt it in recent years. It may be that my understanding of Chaoshan culture itself is relatively flat, rather than lively, like those overseas Chinese collected by Brother Ye. The approval made me understand that the various attitudes of Chaoshan people are not as rigid as I thought before. In Brother Ye’s exhibition hall, at the end of the animation, “A Letter from Overseas Chinese” by “Toy Captain” was played. For some reason, it reminded me of “A Zhen Falls in Love with A Qiang” by “Wutiaoren”.

On the evening of the 18th, my cousin’s car was driving on Jinshi Road. I saw that the shops on both sides were so similar to those of more than ten years ago. I suddenly asked her, do you still have any news about Brother Shaohan? Brother Shaohan is my cousin’s classmate in middle school and also my senior in university. When I first entered Shenzhen University, my cousin told him to take care of me, so he took me to the hometown association and let me meet the first batch of Wen Friends outside of college. She said, it seemed that she had heard that he had returned to Chaozhou to develop, but I did not have his WeChat account. I pointed to a simple restaurant nearby, and said that in my junior year, I came to Jinshi to see you, and Brother Shaohan happened to be in Jinshi, and he took the two of us to your classmate dinner together, and he even talked to me after dinner. Said, in Jinshi can only eat so simple, don't mind. In fact, I ate that meal very well, and now I often think about it, the night of the Spring Festival in that small town.

The cousin said, maybe you are too nostalgic.