I don't need any meaning or reason, I just want to watch the sea alone...

Recently did a new challenge, try to see the sea alone! At first, I just talked about it casually. Later, I talked about this with a friend. He was very supportive of me to try it out, so I just said nothing and walked away! (so pompous hahahahaha)

Before I start the article, I want to clarify that in fact, there is no Wen Qing (?) in the imagination of Kanhai Day, but the article is written like this. The version I wrote at the beginning was more hypocritical than this hahahaha, but after thinking about it, in fact, a simple narrative is enough.

Ask me why I want to go to the sea alone, but I don't know. To say the original idea, because I was in a bad mood for a while, there were many troubles in my life, and I didn't know how to deal with it, so I thought of the sea.

I feel that nature, especially the ocean, has a magical charm that can always calm my mind, forget all my troubles in an instant, and heal my soul very much. But at the same time, it also makes people feel that it is hidden, and it is not something that a small human like me can easily spy on.

Although I really want to say it, Kanhai can't give me any real advice to face things that I don't want to face even if I die. Sometimes, though, you really don't need any advice (just think some people just want to complain about that), just sitting quietly on the shore and blowing the sea breeze is enough. I didn't want to leave even after sitting for a long time, I just wanted to live there.

When it comes to watching Hai A alone, I don't know why there is a kind of melancholy mood? It feels as if "looking at the sea alone" means that you are in a bad mood, and are you going to do something dangerous? Talking about this to others, there are many people who will have such a reaction. ( And I don't know which uncle has a heart of sympathy... Note: This is specially written for that person)

But obviously it's not a big deal, but it's not incomprehensible why someone would react this way. In fact, it's just a difference of habits and concepts. For people who live near the sea, it should be commonplace to see the sea every day?

But when it comes to depression, I was really depressed a while ago. I often encounter many obstacles that cannot be solved, and I blame myself for not working hard, not being good enough, and not being perfect. I am such a perfectionist and self-blaming person. But if you think about it, you really haven't worked hard enough. If I can have the courage to face those unknown things, I can actually do it, right?

However, it is not a good thing to blame anyone else or yourself for any problem to the extreme! I believe that a problem must be caused by the interaction between the external environment and itself. Therefore, taking problems that are not your own on yourself for no reason, constantly blaming yourself, will only make yourself more and more inferior; A disguised sense of inferiority is all that matters.

The only way is to recognize the problems between yourself and others, not to be attached to things that you cannot control, and to strive to change those things that you can change.

So to sum up the above, I now tell myself that even if I still don’t want to work hard or face difficulties, let’s wait until I lie down enough. After all, escape is shameful but useful. Until I rekindle that enthusiasm again, it will not be too late to work hard.

Finally, I want to say that I am a person who loves to find meaning. I want to find meaning in everything. Of course, the ultimate goal is "the meaning of life" (in fact, there is already an answer). I've asked the people around me for a while and found that not everyone has thought about this question! Not everyone cares about this.

For me, if I don't know the meaning of what I do before I do it, I often feel weird or listless when I do it. In short, I'm always obsessed with the meaning.

But I thought about it recently, regardless of whether life has meaning or not, it has no meaning in itself (tongue twister?)! What I want to say is that instead of looking for the meaning of life, it is better to think about what I really want and what kind of life I want to live.

If I just want a simple, ordinary, happy life, why waste time thinking about unnecessary problems? (Of course, it may be necessary in some cases, it varies from person to person)

All in all, this time I look at the sea alone for nothing, and I don’t want to cling to any imperfect past experiences, or try to figure out a meaning and reason. I just want to be quiet and watch the sea alone.

Because I was afraid that I didn't know what strange things I wrote, I finally made up the station at dusk :)