【2020 Matters Annual Questionnaire】

1. There are only ten days left in 2020. Share an event that you didn’t expect to happen this year at the beginning of the year? How has this event changed your life?

The unexpected thing at the beginning of the year, of course, was this pandemic. At that time (around January 20, 2020), I had just returned from a business trip in Beijing, and the sun was shining brightly in Shenzhen. I saw that the news inside and outside the walls were covering Zhong Nanshan’s words overwhelmingly, and I thought to myself that MD is this again. It will come out in 2003, but it will only take two or three months, and the virus will recede in the summer. Before the business trip, I joked with a colleague of Hubei origin who was with him that there was a virus there (the media inside the wall didn't report much at that time), he laughed and pretended to cough twice.

In fact, I am relatively well-informed. The media outside the wall and inside the wall read it. The HK media had already reported it in early January, and the media inside the wall still used the same old-fashioned words (to appease the public). I still trust the HK media more. Their officials have always been dedicated and conscientious in their work, and strict quarantine has been implemented at the gate. But since Wuhan suddenly announced the closure of the city on the 23rd, the people around me and I began to get nervous and buy masks (fortunately, I have the habit of wearing masks on subways and planes, and it is still N95), myself earlier I used the mask for a few days, and then I had to look everywhere for a mask. Later, as everyone has experienced, I didn't show up to work after the Spring Festival. It was not until the beginning of March that Party A of our company let me go to their company. At that time, there were few people and cars on the streets, as if they were abandoned. When I took a taxi, I didn't even dare to take off my mask in the company. The fear at that time still far outweighed the discomfort of wearing a mask. It was not until around June that I dared to relax a little and take off my mask when outdoors.

In fact, in general, apart from spending more time at home/working from home, other aspects have not affected me too much. Of course, it is also because that job has the nature of telecommuting and is not working; and I usually often wear mask. During the most serious and most feared period of the epidemic (it was the Spring Festival holiday), our whole family did not know where to go, and the children in the family did not want to be bored at home, so we basically drove to some sparsely populated beaches every day to hang out, stay in a daze, hike, catch crabs and pick up crabs. The oyster is not a joy, it is an interesting memory.

2. In 2020, what gives you the deepest sense of meaning?

What gives me the deepest sense is that one is my two home servers with wireguard VPN and v2ray on them - I finally took the time to complete it this year - I deeply sigh that these two gadgets have a great effect on me in this totalitarian society A meaningful existence here is important, and they allow me to maintain a little bit of the freedom of thought and information I need to survive here.

The other is that I have technically supported the news release of independent news media through some open source community projects and enhanced the ability to resist censorship. Breaking through censorship, freedom of the press, and freedom of speech are all too important, too important for the epidemic and for personal dignity.

3. The global epidemic is still severe, please record an epidemic event that you think is worth remembering.

There are so many things worth remembering. Dr. Li Wenliang, Dr. Yi, of course, needs to remember. "It's all fake" also surprises me. What I need to remember in particular is that when the community I lived in was closed and only one gate was left for entry and exit and I needed to scan the code to take my temperature, I also tried to enter the gate, because I felt that it was too invasion of my privacy and dignity. As a result, of course, I was caught by the security guard to scan the code, and the community police also took pictures of me (our community may be equipped with police station police and police cars because it is relatively large). I can only hold my breath and hold back this shame. At that time, there was an uncle who looked like a little leader with a bad attitude, but he also seemed to understand the pressure and irritability that came from his superiors. Ha ha.

Later, every time I went to a place, the entrance was all kinds of scanning codes and reporting personal information. I think it is against human rights and laws (if any) to force the handover of personal information even for reasons of pandemic and public safety (while also having no way of knowing who will view/manage it, how it will be used and with whom it will be shared) of. I am an anarchist and a stubborn geek, so I will PS the screenshots after scanning the code. Anyway, many staff encourage you to save the screenshots for easy presentation. Later, people in many places were tired of checking QR codes and turned one eye away.

4. How has travel restrictions in 2020 changed your relationship with others/the world? Is there any person/thing that you must see/do when the epidemic is over?

Travel is restricted, blocking my physical connection with the world outside the wall, I can't go outside the wall to breathe, and HK can't even go. I can only hope for my scientific Internet server. But this year, I also contacted friends I didn’t have contact with before. One was my classmate from the United States when I was a graduate student. She is 67 years old and basically lives alone on the west coast of the United States. After the epidemic is over, I will apply for a visa to see her ( Oh, and the Sino-US relationship); the other is that I used Whatsapp again to contact my old friends in HK to cheer them on. After the epidemic, I will continue to go to HK to buy books and go hiking. ;-)

There are also colleagues who I met before, and even worked together, but now have almost no chance to meet again. Because many of the TAs have been thrown into prison because of their work (even if they are released, they will be monitored and not free), and colleagues who have not suffered from prison have also gone their separate ways and changed careers. I miss them deeply and regret that I didn't study hard and work hard when I worked with them at that time (at that time I was also under pressure and had PTSD), now and in the future, I may never have the opportunity again. Especially for CY, you were sentenced to such a heavy sentence, and I feel very guilty for not being able to fight alongside you. Now you are suffering so much and I did not share it with you. You are suffering for us.

5. Tell me about a conflict you encountered in 2020 that was difficult to resolve. The conflict here is: You feel that your beliefs and actions are in conflict.

The contradiction is probably still the anti-epidemic measures that do not respect personal privacy vs me, a privacy madman - such a contradiction. Some QR codes can only be scanned with WeChat and do not provide any other channels (even if I am willing to provide personal information). Don't you think about it: people who don't know or are inconvenient to use these software/hardware (such as the elderly, the disabled)? If someone: the phone is out of power, there is no money, there is no network, the positioning function is faulty, there is no / no WeChat, no / no smartphone... These possibilities are all high probability events!

My belief is that I need to protect my privacy (personal information), which is the core of my dignity, the freedom at the bottom, and the bottom line for my survival in this totalitarian society. I would rather forcefully drop my phone underground than give in to the police who randomly check passers-by's phones at the subway station. But now in this public health crisis, I sometimes have to obey, take out WeChat, turn on the camera permission, scan the code, fill in the personal information that the public authority may already know, and then be allowed to enter a certain venue, or use a service. Although I will comfort myself that if my information is not exposed, I am not attacked by the Internet, and I am not killed by social media, I am very lucky, but I believe that one day, when the weather changes, these people who participated in the "banal evil" will suffer to liquidation.

6. Share a moment when you “suddenly understood what I was against.”

Yes, seeing these waves of epidemic outbreaks in Europe, I sometimes think that perhaps the Chinese government's severe human rights violations are very effective (as long as the epidemic data released by the government is reliable). If this virus is really so virulent (with strong transmission power), that's the only way it can be. As long as these policies/measures are legal, open and transparent, and have a sufficient basis for public opinion.

7. How has your relationship with your body changed compared to a year ago? Do you like your current body more?

Even as a biological man, I'm not as obsessed with my body as other men. But starting this year, I've started to pay more attention to my old body injuries, and I'll spend more time exercising/rehabilitating my operated leg. The legs are stronger, the heart is not so burdened, I can go farther, and I can "fight for a long life". After all, it seems that only this trick can win a certain "big brother".

8. After 2020, have you found one unstoppable thing about yourself?

Since a few years ago, I have discovered something about myself that I cannot stop: being a user of the Unix system and free and open source software, and constantly exploring them. It is also a mystery, I seem to have received an "oracle" similar to Queen Elizabeth: Keep calm and carry on. I can't help myself and need to knock on a Unix computer, maybe to feel a little bit of freedom. It can be said that they are essentially just tools, but they are not just tools, they are meeting the needs of my "spirit" (?) In addition to providing me with the information base platform I mentioned above as a dignified person, And being a tree hole gave me a chance to catch my breath when I watched "too much" news and produced "political depression". Of course there are many more...

9. Please share with us your most listened song, your favorite book or your most memorable movie in 2020

The most commonly heard are "May Glory Return to Hong Kong" and Li Zhi's "The People Don't Need Freedom".

Favorite book: "1984" (still need to read slowly)

10. Finally, could you please represent your 2020 with a photo.

(slightly)

11. Please fill in the blank: 2020, my dignity＿＿ matters