【Small novel】The beginning of man

Although I am about to become a father, until now, I still think that I am not the kind of person who belongs to family life. I never thought I would get married and have children.

My first girlfriend was named Meiyi. Maybe because it was my first love, I always think she is the most unforgettable woman I know.

Meiyi is very simple. She has only one goal in life, which is to be a happy little mistress. We have been in love for more than five years, and she has always wanted to marry me. To achieve this goal, she even deliberately got pregnant to force me to marry her.

I was too young at that time, and of course I didn’t want to be trapped for the rest of my life, so I insisted on her aborting the fetus. She cried and said that I was not a human being, but she still went to Shenzhen alone to have an abortion. When she came back, it was like nothing had happened, and I was happy not to mention it again.

Even so, Meiyi and I broke up in the end. I forgot the real reason. It was probably because of some trivial things. At that time, we had big fights every few days. There was so much arguing that everyone forgot what they liked about each other. Since we can no longer remember the reason why we got together in the first place, and there is no reason why we must continue, we simply separate.

Shortly after breaking up with Meiyi, she accidentally slipped down the stairs and had a miscarriage. It turned out that she was pregnant with me again at that time. If I had known she was pregnant at that time, I might have married her. In any case, I think she and I are destined to be together.

After that, I dated several women, but nothing came of it until I met my wife. In fact, there is nothing extraordinary about my wife. On the contrary, she is not as good as Meimei or any of my previous girlfriends. However, she was already my best choice at the time.

The reason why I married her was because she warned me that if I didn't marry her, she would break up with me. Breaking up with her wasn't a big deal at first, but I no longer had the energy to date other women again, and I didn't want to adapt to another woman again. The living habits of a woman, so I had to surrender and reluctantly ended my single life.

Soon after the marriage, my wife became pregnant. Although I had been mentally prepared, I didn't expect this day to come so soon.

Watching my wife's belly getting bigger day by day, I gradually felt that my status was being threatened. My wife was afraid that I would kick her in the stomach if I tossed and turned while sleeping, so she asked me to sleep in the study. She also forced me to quit smoking and drinking, saying that it would be bad for the fetus. Since my wife became pregnant, I have found that at least half of my life has lost its meaning.

Even so, I still look forward to the arrival of this little life. My wife was twenty-one weeks pregnant. I accompanied her to the hospital for an ultrasound scan. The doctor pointed to his little hand and told me that it was his left hand. I could clearly see five fingers. Then he instructed me to check his heartbeat. It was beating regularly, and I was a little moved when I saw it. Finally, the doctor pointed to his reproductive organs and told me that this was his scrotum and that he was a little baby boy.

Although I can't really tell which part is the baby's hand and which part is its foot, I have officially accepted this little one who has just formed in my wife's womb, and I am willing to let him occupy part of my life, or even all of it. .

Two weeks later, my wife complained of abdominal pain, so I immediately sent her to the hospital. The doctor checked her and said there was no major problem, but she needed to be hospitalized for observation.

I went to the canteen to buy a cup of coffee and met my first love, Meiyi.

This was the first time we met after we broke up. We didn't expect to be in the hospital, and everyone acted a little unnatural. I noticed that her face didn't look good, so I asked her naturally: "Are you coming to see a doctor?"

"Just came to check up on me. What about you?"

"My wife complained of abdominal pain this morning, and the doctor said she can't be discharged from the hospital until the fetus is more stable."

Meiyi hesitated to speak, looking worried.

"Are you married?" I asked.

She nodded, "Almost six years."

"Have children?"

Her face was extremely pale, "I have had two miscarriages, both of which were habitual miscarriages." She sighed and added, "That's why I came for a check-up. Some doctors said that I am not suitable for pregnancy at the moment, but every time Every doctor has a different opinion, but there is always one doctor who will tell me that now is the best time to get pregnant."

I was at a loss for words. After my wife became pregnant, I read a lot of related books and knew that women who have had abortions or miscarriages will experience rejection by their bodies when they become pregnant in the future, leading to habitual miscarriages.

I suddenly felt guilty. I had forced Meiyi to have an abortion before. I never considered the impact on her body. I was too selfish. I didn't even have the courage to say sorry to her.

At this time, a man walked up to Meiyi and hugged her shoulders tightly. It was obvious that he was very concerned about her. He is Meiyi's husband.

After Meiyi introduced us, she told him that my wife was pregnant.

"Congratulations, you are so happy to have your own child," her husband said.

I accepted his congratulations awkwardly. His wife was pregnant with my child twice, but we didn't cherish it well at the time. I was lucky enough to be a father soon, but Meiyi was still struggling to give birth to her child, even though she knew how slim the chances were.

I returned to my wife's ward with an apologetic mood. I really wanted to hug her and feel my happiness. But my wife is missing.

A nurse rushed over and said, "Your wife was born prematurely. Come with me."

I didn't seem to understand what she was saying, so I just kept repeating, "But she is only twenty-three weeks old, how is that possible?"

"Mrs. Huang suddenly had labor pains and had to wear amniotic fluid. The doctor was delivering her baby."

Everything happened so fast. The birth of my son seemed to catch everyone off guard.

He is such a little thing that one hand can easily pick him up.

My son is very cute. Although he is a little small, he has all the facial features, fingers and toes. He has a heartbeat and breathing, but everyone says he is too young and cannot survive.

He is obviously alive, can't he really be saved? I roared.

The doctor shook his head at me apologetically. But what I want is not his apology, I want my son to live.

"How long can he live?" I asked the doctor in pain.

"I don't know, but it won't last more than a day." The doctor calmly announced my son's death sentence.

The wife burst into tears.

The son's face was purple and red, and he had never opened his eyes to see the world. Five hours later, he left, finishing his hasty life without even humming.

My son only lived five hours in this world, and those were the longest five hours of my life. My wife and I have been by his side, waiting for his last breath and his last heartbeat.

From now on I can smoke and drink again, but what's the point? I suddenly realized that the feeling of wanting to cry without tears turned out to be so uncomfortable.

The wife said that this child is here to pay off debts for the sins we have done before. Is it really? I have committed too many sins, but the poor child is innocent.

In the beginning, human beings are inherently good.

If anyone asks me in the future, I will proudly tell them that I have the most pure and flawless son in the world.

Not only this child who lived for five hours, but also the two children Meiyi and I had together, whose lives were even shorter and more regrettable.

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