Stop an overexerted life

Recently, I was preparing for an interview with a CSR staff of a certain bank. After inquiring about the information, I listed its history, service items, business directions, B-type companies, sustainable finance, etc., and arranged my own writing works. time, plan to complete one by one step by step a few days before the interview.

The plan is listed, and at the same time, I also consider the rest time I need, but I don’t know why during the process, and I have been feeling inexplicable anxiety and fear. Especially on Monday, the anxiety reached its peak, and the whole body felt uncomfortable, and the herpes grew on the mouth because of it.

Herpes is an old friend of mine. Every time the fear in his heart is too great and his inner anxiety outweighs everything, the old friend will start saying hello out of his mouth. So this time, I immediately noticed that there should be some things at the psychological level that need to be adjusted.

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I often feel that I am not too afraid of external difficulties, but it is often the inner demons that are difficult to overcome.

Every time that inner demon completes a small goal, and the progress is smoother than expected, he will come out and say, "Really? Did you really accomplish it? Is it because you didn't see enough to feel so relaxed? Too, are you not prepared enough? You think too simple! You should continue!"

This sound is like the curse of the devil, often making people dare not stop. It is clear that everything that should be done has been done, and I don’t know what to continue to do, but I will always be inexplicably anxious and worried, which will cause myself to feel restless;

This situation has been bothering me for a long time, and every time I "relapse" I feel quite painful.

There was one I knew I didn't need to do, but there was another I couldn't let go of, like a schizophrenic. This feeling is really uncomfortable.

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It just happened that it was my turn to provide a case for the collective practice of the mind tree card this week, so I drew a set of cards for myself to see how I could overcome this anxiety that I don’t know where it came from.

I was confused when I first picked it up, what are these trees trying to tell me? After a whole day of precipitation, some information slowly emerged from the inside.

I found that after I set the pace of doing things, I still often have an alarm bell in my heart that makes me very anxious. I feel that I am not doing enough well or not enough, I should do it faster, or work harder, etc. Feel at ease with the effort already put in.

Then I thought that it might be because when I used to do things at my own pace, I was often interrupted by my mother abruptly; or I had read a book in the library all night and came back to read a newspaper supplement to rest, and my mother would also look worried. She told me to stop reading and read more books; or when I took a break to paint during the holidays, she would also say that it is better to read books when I have time to paint. These clips are often accompanied by stern faces and emotions.

When I often feel like I'm ready and ready, I'm frightened by this sudden emotion. The moment I was relaxed, my adrenal hormones started to soar again, tensing my nerves. (So friends who have worked with me say that I am very ㄍ ㄧ ㄥ)

This situation is unknowingly internalized into a harsh voice inside of me, as if I can never do enough. My heart and eyes seemed to be covered with a piece of cloth, so I couldn't see the efforts I had made before, so naturally I couldn't feel at ease.

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I actually don't think this is a healthy state, and every time I face external difficulties, I have another layer of severe tests to overcome.

Often it's not because I can't learn things outside and give up, but because I can't get over the high wall that I block in my heart, and I'm too scared to move forward. I don't dare to let myself relax, I always feel that when I relax, I'll be called "you're too lazy". But in fact, human beings are creatures. As long as they are creatures, they need to eat, drink, play and rest. How can they be like robots, 24 hours a day, all year round! Not to mention that there are other external factors such as mood, stress, etc., which often affect a person's nerves, and these all need to be adjusted with "elasticity".

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Finally, share my solution to this set of cards!

Through this set of cards, I can see that I have grown up, and I can no longer be restricted by the requirements of my mother in the past (Phoenix wood means graduation and the end of a stage). At the same time, the birch also reminds me to maintain elasticity (the hardness of the birch comes from its elasticity, and it can even resist bullets), and the Fukushu gives me a feeling of being relaxed and not too nervous (the Fukushu means being generous and not caring); finally add Osmanthus's randomness, I feel that it is to let myself take it lightly, just click it until it is finished, and there is no need to exert too much force.