2021/1/21 Hometown is cloudy

What do you think of this gray and cold weather?

Maybe think of a mutton stove, a ginger duck, or a warm bun or a hot bath.

I was thinking of the balcony on the third floor of the house.

The weather in Zhongli is often as gloomy and cold as it is today, and I have never been used to it. Every time the cold snap gets angry and doesn't want to move. At that time, I wanted to get a heater or a stove at home, but my family members who were afraid of heat and cold were regarded as evil spirits.

But this cold weather also accompanied me through childhood and adolescence. I don't think that when I encounter such a cold day like today in other places, I will think of home. In some London B&Bs, the inside is full of books and the outside is full of flowers and plants. Looking out the window, the sky was overcast and gray. Everything is like hometown. Although it is thousands of miles away, at that moment, the eyes and childhood overlap so much, I think this is the source of the familiar sense of belonging.

With weather like today, Changhua with grey sky. It's the same feeling of familiarity when walking to the supermarket to pick up the goods. Thinking of high school, facing the never-ending exams, sitting for a long time with cold feet, climbing up the third floor to write a diary is a small space where I can breathe a little.

At that time, I was slow in reading, and I was used to sorting out the key points in my own way. I didn’t want to think that other students would go to the cram school to get all the exam content. But on the contrary, focusing on the key points and practicing by yourself is more time-consuming and labor-intensive. So when I get bored or come to an end, I'm used to slipping to the balcony to write something. (If you go downstairs, you may be questioned why you are messing around. Over time, you get used to running upstairs. Fortunately, there was still a small sky on the balcony at that time, ha)

It is often such a gray sky, and the cold air makes my swollen head sober. His hands and feet are always cold, then he rubs his hands and looks up at the sky, and then lowers his head to write his thoughts. What was written, a little vague. It's like the mourning texts and new poems that the gold ge that I planted died inexplicably, or when the boys who had been very close before were going to confess such girlish feelings. In short, those things that should make me want to laugh now, but were very concerned at the time.

This habit should have lasted for several years, and although no famous work has been written, it was actually a kind of healing at the time. When I was a teenager, I gradually had a lot of opinions and ideas, but in the eyes of my school and my family, I was just a child, and no one could listen to what I said. So find a space where you can write what you want to say, which is good for your physical and mental health.

Now that the 30th year has passed, compared to the 18 years that I really stayed in my hometown, the time spent in the field is almost more than that. But people seem to be unconsciously searching for childhood memories all their lives. For better or worse, it is deeply implanted. Although childhood is short, that time is the purest time to open all senses and cognitions to feel and know the world. So childhood is like the familiar puzzle that is imprinted in the heart. In the years to come, we will look for the puzzle pieces piece by piece in other places. Maybe from the environment, from the people you get along with, from the things you do. Whenever any piece of the puzzle is found, the inner child carefully takes it into the bottom of his heart and spells out the familiarity that can be found in other places.