It's Good Now: 55 Healing Ways to Say Goodbye to a Tired Heart

Isn't this common sense? Why do some people don't even understand?

Shouldn't that be the case in general? How did things turn out like this?

Looking back on every moment that made me feel tired, apart from feeling powerless, the most common thought that popped up was that the common sense I knew was not equivalent to the common sense of others, so it was easy to feel angry because of the "ignorance" of others.

However, in the book "It's Good Now", the so-called "general" that is "usually like this" probably belongs to me only, that is to say, what I take for granted may not be seen by others so it is. For example, I think that if I can expect that I will be late, I should take the initiative to contact the other party first. This is "common sense" in my mind, so when others fail to do so, it is easy to feel that this person is rude, so it is easy to feel irritable .

But the author tells us that people who get irritated by things like this represent people who plug themselves into frames . Since I have always observed many rules, I also think that others should follow suit. Unknowingly, I will regard the established cognition as "should", or question why others can't do it? The author said that if you want to avoid this irritable situation, you can try to talk to yourself in a self-encouraging way , such as: "I have worked hard to persist in this", "Even if others don't do it, I will try to persist It's up to now." I think the method suggested by the author is very positive. Instead of blaming and criticizing others, you can affirm yourself. In this way, you don’t need to find out which coping style is good or bad, and learn to relax the standard to add more flexibility.

The same thinking logic is also applicable to the situation of getting angry as long as others don't go his way. The author said that it is mostly because he has been doing things according to the wishes of others. Naturally, he also thinks that when he makes suggestions, others must accept them happily. It just so happened that I also encountered a similar situation a few days ago. I didn’t quite understand this kind of person who tried to persuade others to follow their own ideas. After the author’s explanation, I realized that such a person has always cared about other people’s ideas. , As long as others put forward their needs, they will cooperate, and naturally think that others should cater to their own needs . The author said that after telling others what you think, try to trust the other person and wait, or accept the other person's style, and the most important thing is to realize that you are always in line with other people's ideas, instead of being trapped in the anger that others can't satisfy you .

The book also mentioned that people who have a high desire for control, care too much about other people's eyes, look at people from high and low, and cannot empathize with others are all caused by the feeling of " uneasy ". For example, parents want their children to act according to their own ideas. Out of worry that the child will take a different path from what you expected, if you want to improve this situation, you must first understand that there are no absolute right and wrong in many things, only "differences" .

There are hundreds of troubles in life, some are practical life trials, and some are trapped by inner demons. In fact , as long as you get rid of the frame and reduce anxiety and fear, the pain can be alleviated a lot , and "It's Good Now" " The author of this book, as a counselor, lists 55 kinds of tired situations in graphic form and provides healing solutions, which will help us wake up from the deep inertial thinking.