A teaching guide every husband should read "Wife User Manual"

The author of this book wrote a series of instruction manuals about family, marriage, and children, which aroused widespread response, mainly because he started from the perspective of his own research on AI artificial intelligence and brain science, coupled with many life examples and humorous strokes. It makes people feel very close, and this "Wife's Instruction Manual" is exactly the voice of many women (wives). When we always complain that the other half (husband) does not understand us and often speak nonsense, we I never thought that this is the difference in the brain structure of men and women, and it even involves the concept of reproduction. However, after understanding all this, can it be strengthened and improved through acquired efforts?

My rough personal judgment is that the readership of this book still points to women. After all, women will especially want to know whether the methods taught by the author can work for them, and men may have already planted the impression that women are difficult to deal with. , Maybe you don’t even have the desire to read it, anyway, if your significant other (husband) doesn’t have the time or interest to read this book, you can try to learn from my way of directly conveying the content to In the ear of the other party, and told him that it was taught by an expert, it was not me who said it!

Women are inherently more empathetic

When a group of women chirp and chat, there will always be a lot of echoing voices, and we will feel warm in our hearts after hearing the words of empathy from others, but men are born with "problem-solving"-oriented brains , For example, when faced with a complaint from your wife, you may say: "Then don't do it!" and think you are considerate, but you don't know that this sentence will annoy your wife, because you will make your wife feel that what she did originally is less There is no value, it seems that you can do it or not, it is better to directly thank her for her dedication or understand her hard work, and say: "Thanks for your hard work!" It is much better than asking the other party to give up what they originally did.

The author said that it doesn't matter if you don't really empathize, as long as you show empathy.

I know this is really difficult. If you really can't do it, I really suggest giving your wife a hug or saying: "Thank you!" The real solution to the problem is not to help my wife find a way, or ask her to give up something, but to affirm her efforts and comfort her fragile heart .

Why are women always angry?

The author said that the person who blamed him was actually hurt in his heart.

The most common is that the wife always complains that she feels exhausted physically and mentally because she has done a lot of things, or the husband often does not pay attention to the details of the housework, which increases the wife's workload (emotional labor or real housework), when the wife gets angry In fact, it is not really denying her husband's personality, but telling her husband that she needs understanding and rest , can I trouble her husband to cooperate? But the husband can't always understand what his wife really means, and instead he will reply: "It's okay if the house is messy.", "You don't have to do these housework, I will do it when I have time.", "If you forget to buy groceries, go out again. Just buy it, don’t be in such a hurry!” At first glance, it seems to be the husband’s kindness, but it will arouse the wife’s nameless anger. The reason is that the wife always hopes that the husband can “actively” and “actively” pay attention to all the needs of the family , and try not to destroy the cleanliness of the house. These are invisible pressures for the wife. Just seeing the socks and clothes strewn about makes people feel more stressed. The husband may say that he will pick them up later, but How long will it be after all? Usually the final result is that the wife does it, so all male friends must understand that what you do may cause troubles to your wife bit by bit and cause the volcano to erupt.

If you accidentally make your wife angry, the best solution is to apologize sincerely. There is no other way . Don’t continue to use other reasons to explain your behavior. If you find it difficult to apologize, try to understand your wife first. You may be angry because of something, try to understand and think about it before acting, after all, the living space after marriage no longer belongs to you alone, you still need to communicate and cooperate with each other.

What should you do when you disagree?

When people get along with each other, they will definitely encounter moments of different opinions, but the relationship between them also deeply affects our feelings, such as meeting and chatting with friends who have not seen each other for a long time. When we have different views on one thing, we compare Can listen rationally without reacting emotionally, but if there is a disagreement with the other half of the day and night, it is very likely to interrupt the other party with negative sentences first, especially if the husband uses negative sentences at the beginning of the wife, it will make the wife I feel very hurt , because women usually go through a lot of thinking and emotional drive before making many decisions. When the husband denies it without understanding at all, it can easily turn into a quarrel.

So how should we do it? The author suggests that the husband should use the "business briefing" model to analyze the advantages and disadvantages to convince his wife, or use actions to make his wife see the reality. Although it sounds a bit troublesome, it is better than denying the other party at the beginning and insisting on his own position. Can avoid conflict.

Praising and thanking your wife is king

The authors say that asking the male brain to perform the same level of chores as the female brain requires puts about three times as much stress on the male brain as the female brain, so helping wives with no-name chores is an almost impossible task.

So what should we do? In fact, the answer is very simple, that is, to praise your wife often, but there are also skills in complimenting, you can’t praise too often, and don’t praise when your wife is in a bad mood or anxious , because it will sound like irony, you should do it when your wife is in a happy mood When the icing on the cake can get the best results .

For example, when your wife is tired of taking care of the children at home alone, don’t say, “It’s great that you and the baby are at home alone.” Although it sounds fine at first, it means that you ignore how hard it is for your wife to be at home, and you still think It is very easy for a wife to take care of the child at home, so it is better to say directly: "It is really hard for you, it must be very tiring to take care of the baby at home alone?! Thank you very much."

make a good impression

Although the female brain will regurgitate the negative experiences of the past, it will also continue to relive the good memories , so the husband can try to increase the positive trigger mechanism of the wife , which means spending more time to make the wife feel that she is being abused. The experience of pampering and caring does not need to be many, just a few times to make people feel impressive and deeply happy. The key point mentioned by the author in the book is that the wedding anniversary or birthday is the day to retrieve memories . Although the husband usually thinks that it is just a gimmick for businessmen to make money, it is an exciting and meaningful day for the wife. Therefore, the husband should seize this good opportunity to create happy memories. It depends on the husband's wish to make the wife's impression of married life be good or boring.

However, in ordinary and ordinary days, you can occasionally create a small surprise, such as buying something your wife likes to eat when you come home from outside, but the premise must be to observe your wife's preferences first, and don't wishful thinking that your wife You should act rashly if you like it, and sometimes you will get counterproductive effects, so you should pay special attention to this point.

A Marriage Relationship that Works Hard the Day After Tomorrow

Many unreasonable things for men are normal things for women; men think it is no big deal, but women think it is an earth-shattering event. There is such a big difference between the sexes but they are attracted to each other. Because of the relationship of reproduction, after all, in order for organisms to reproduce smoothly, two different organisms must be combined, so that at least one of them can survive and raise the next generation when encountering danger, but this difference In humans, it has become a subject that must be adjusted and learned.

The female brain who pays attention to the soul is always puzzled by the male brain who yearns for the world and the universe, and feels lonely from time to time. Little do they know that once a man regards a woman as his own, he will naturally not try to please and care for him. This is normal in the first place Men's brain reaction, but it is quite hurt to women, so women should also understand that this is not the result of men deliberately doing it, nor does it mean that they do not pay attention to their own performance, and if men want to eliminate the other half's insecurity Love needs to be learned the day after tomorrow. Although it will make people feel at a loss or exhausted, but mastering some key skills can make your love life much more harmonious.

The author uses his own professional perspective and more than 30 years of marriage experience to provide you with many methods of marriage management. From time to time, people will nod their heads and burst out laughing. It is really humorous and close to reality. I hope that friends who want to manage relationships (marriage) can refer to it!